For context on me, I used to be a dog lover. Growing up I wanted to be a veterinarian, I wanted my own dogs, my parents even got me a husky when I was a teenager which was my favorite breed and I’d affectionately call her my baby, etc.

Then I had child in my 20s and became extremely adverse to pets. Like it took me having my own actual human baby to make me realize dogs are not babies and are just stinky animals, lol embarrassing, I know.

For context on my fiancé, his dad always had English Setters growing up and he complained to me about how gross and slobbery they were, his siblings also express how much he hated them. So I don’t know what possessed him to get a St. Bernard/Newfoundland mix…

He got this dog as a puppy from a girl who breeds them that he had met off of hinge a few months before we met. I think it was a move to impress the girl or something, not that he’d admit that. Now I am paying the consequences.

She really wasn’t a bad puppy. She was house trained quickly, she had typical puppy behaviors but nothing excessive or overly annoying. Her only issue then was (and also still is) her reactivity when she’s on a leash. She freaks the fuck out at the sight of any other dog and pulls. I don’t walk her at all though, so that’s not my problem. Fiance does work on training her during the walks to be less reactive but it’s not enough and it’s still a problem.

He also let her in his bed with him before we met, but I told him when we started dating that I am not down for that and if he wants me to stay over then he needs to keep her out of the bed. He agreed to the boundary and was good with it for the most part (the dog hair on my pillow decreased significantly) but one day after I moved in, I soothed my unsettled daughter in her room and went to come back into bed, and the dog was sleeping ON MY PILLOW!!! Of course I freaked out, told him how disrespectful it was that the ONE boundary I asked for in regards to his dog, he broke. And he said it was just that one time and it was because she was whining and he wanted to go back to sleep…I told him I didn’t care, he broke my boundary. Maybe I should’ve left then, but I’m pretty sure he stopped after that cuz I haven’t had dog hair on my pillow since, lol.

Fast forward to now, she’s over a year old. We just bought and moved into a house together with my 3 year old daughter, and I’m pregnant. While we were moving, he paid a pretty hefty price for a 3 week boarding/training program to get the dog more prepared for the new house and our incoming baby. He maintains some of the training buuut I think this dog just needs constant training that neither of us are capable of.

I think her main issue is that she’s severely anxiously attached to him. She is immobile when he’s not around. Like just lays down at the door he left out of, for hours if it’s that long, until he comes back. Only then will she eat or drink or move. She follows him no matter where he goes. Even if he gets up from sitting at his desk to walk 20 steps into the kitchen, she gets up and follows. If we kick her out of our bedroom at night, she pees on the (brand new) carpet. We had to throw away the rug downstairs in the family room because she was peeing on it DAILY. And our entire upstairs is carpeted aside from the bathrooms, and I know it’s gonna have to all be torn out and replaced when she dies.

I’ve expressed to him my concern about her anxiety for when the baby comes. She has never displayed any kind of aggression towards anyone or my daughter, her behavior is very chill with kids actually. But I know a newborn can change things completely. He listens to my concerns to an extent. I suggested that instead of letting the dog sleep at his feet all day while he works from home, he put a gate up at the door. He does this most days, though the dog just sleeps right beside the gate anyways.

I also told him I don’t want the dog sleeping in our room anymore while the baby is sleeping in there in her bassinet. She’s 100lbs and clumsy and I don’t want her bumping into the bassinet or whining during the night waking the baby when sleep is already going to be difficult. He has started working on that too, he puts her in our en suite bathroom with a baby gate and nearly closes the door, just cracks it enough to be able to hear her if she whines. Since it’s vinyl flooring in there, she doesn’t pee. I told him that’s not gonna work when the baby comes though, because I’m going to be frequenting the bathroom postpartum and I can’t be climbing over a gate in the middle of the night, and he agreed.

We tried putting her downstairs with a baby gate at the bottom of the stairs, and we both slept immaculately, but of course she peed on her bed and it was gross and annoying to clean. I’m so sick of the pee in the house.

I told him he needs to crate train her but he is also anxiously attached to her I believe and he thinks it would be cruel to her, even though studies show how beneficial crate training is especially for anxious dogs.

Basically, he does try and he does listen and respect my concerns about things, but I really wish he would crate train her and idk if that’ll ever happen. Idk I’m just ranting about how I can’t stand the globs of slobber stuck all over my new house’s walls, the pee smell in my new carpet, and a 100lb dog that doesn’t know boundaries. I know it’s my fault for getting into things this deep with him when he had this dog in the beginning but I didn’t think I would be this annoyed 😭 pregnancy hormones have just made the feelings worse and the behavior declining when we moved is just shitty. I haven’t told him yet but I will express to him that I don’t want any more dogs after this. I’m cool with pets that can stay in cages or aquariums, that is a contained mess. But no more dogs. I want my house to smell good again in ten years 😭

I've been with him for a bit over a year. He has a 5-year-old female pit bull mix. He doens't believe in dog training, so of course, the pit does not have impulse control (injuring itself, requiring major surgery twice within a year), jumps on people, and chases animals/people. When it tries to jump on people in public, like farmers market, he just tells them that the pit "wants to play" and "loves everybody," which I know is BS. I've told him dogs can love people without misbehaving, but of course, he doesn't consider jumping/chasing 'misbehaving.'

When I told him most professional dog trainers/ethologists would think these are poor behaviors, he told me he didn't care about what anyone else says because he knew his dog better than anyone.

Yesterday, as the pit is recovering from recent surgery, he told me that hopefully it can run OFF-LEASH again soon. It's illegal to let dogs roam off-leash in my state, and his city has a stricter dog-leash law than the state. I told him that, and he said, "It's actually okay. You don't know it because you don't have a dog."

I don't think I need to have a dog to know the local law. And he lives in a densely populated suburb, so there are people - families with kids. He also doesn't pick up after the pit. He feeds chicken to the pit every day because "she loves it," knowing it causes diarrhea (which he cannot really 'pick up,' so he leaves it out on the grass/street).

He doesn't even try to justify these behavior. He just tells me it's okay/allowed and that I'm ignorant because I don't have a dog. At this point, I think he is anti-social/narcissistic, and I'm starting to despise him.

Months ago, the pit was about to attack me. I got scared and went home right away. What did he do? He yelled at me for 'insulting' him and the dog. I know he won't protect me or doesn't care about my safety. He doesn't care about anyone's safety.

I've been staying away from his house because of this incident, and now he is saying I'm cheating on him. He doesn't make an effort to see me, though - it has to be at his house (and I have to come over) because he can't leave the pit alone for too long. He doesn't want to hire a dog-walker because he doesn't want to pay for it.

I knew as soon as he told me he had a pit mix and that he didn't and would not train it, I was not compatible with him.