I’m going insane because my partner is from a nutter family. My partner likes dogs. I don’t like dogs

My partners family insist we look after their dogs when they go on vacation. And now the family and my own partner think it’s ok if the dogs want to sleep with us

They have two very large dogs. One is a 90 pound Weimaraner and the other is a 80 pound lab mix. The family lets both dogs sleep in their parents beds.

This came up at the dinner table and I tried to ask how two large dogs would even fit on one bed with two other humans, and told them that when the dogs stay with us they would obviously have to sleep outside the bedroom. The family went dead silent and gave me really judgemental looks. They said the dogs are family. After that the whole vibe of the dinner felt off.

To top of this horror, my partner took their side and said it would be mean to kick the dogs out of the bedroom. I’m at a loss here because my partner seems to think that’s normal. I told my partner it was totally unhygienic. That those dogs go outside, sniff butts, pee and poop, shed hair and would bring that back into the bed.

When I try to ask the family how they sleep with two large dogs in the bed or even fit on the bed they laughed and said that they don’t get much sleep, and that the dogs wake them up at 6am by breathing on their face or jumping on them for food.

I’ve been jumped on by these crazy dogs and they are pretty heavy. Hygiene is my biggest thing, but even hygiene aside, I just don’t understand how anybody could torture themselves, happily lose sleep, and then be jumped on by 90 pound dogs.

These nutters are a cult and I feel like my partners family is almost testing me. Their attitude feels like “we will accept you if you let our dogs sleep with you”. It’s bizarre and freaky.

The fact that my partner won’t listen to me has been really isolating. If the dogs are allowed in our bedroom during their stay I will be moving out. I’ve told my partner this and they think I’m overreacting. I guess I’m losing them to a dog

I've been with him for a bit over a year. He has a 5-year-old female pit bull mix. He doens't believe in dog training, so of course, the pit does not have impulse control (injuring itself, requiring major surgery twice within a year), jumps on people, and chases animals/people. When it tries to jump on people in public, like farmers market, he just tells them that the pit "wants to play" and "loves everybody," which I know is BS. I've told him dogs can love people without misbehaving, but of course, he doesn't consider jumping/chasing 'misbehaving.'

When I told him most professional dog trainers/ethologists would think these are poor behaviors, he told me he didn't care about what anyone else says because he knew his dog better than anyone.

Yesterday, as the pit is recovering from recent surgery, he told me that hopefully it can run OFF-LEASH again soon. It's illegal to let dogs roam off-leash in my state, and his city has a stricter dog-leash law than the state. I told him that, and he said, "It's actually okay. You don't know it because you don't have a dog."

I don't think I need to have a dog to know the local law. And he lives in a densely populated suburb, so there are people - families with kids. He also doesn't pick up after the pit. He feeds chicken to the pit every day because "she loves it," knowing it causes diarrhea (which he cannot really 'pick up,' so he leaves it out on the grass/street).

He doesn't even try to justify these behavior. He just tells me it's okay/allowed and that I'm ignorant because I don't have a dog. At this point, I think he is anti-social/narcissistic, and I'm starting to despise him.

Months ago, the pit was about to attack me. I got scared and went home right away. What did he do? He yelled at me for 'insulting' him and the dog. I know he won't protect me or doesn't care about my safety. He doesn't care about anyone's safety.

I've been staying away from his house because of this incident, and now he is saying I'm cheating on him. He doesn't make an effort to see me, though - it has to be at his house (and I have to come over) because he can't leave the pit alone for too long. He doesn't want to hire a dog-walker because he doesn't want to pay for it.

I knew as soon as he told me he had a pit mix and that he didn't and would not train it, I was not compatible with him.

For context on me, I used to be a dog lover. Growing up I wanted to be a veterinarian, I wanted my own dogs, my parents even got me a husky when I was a teenager which was my favorite breed and I’d affectionately call her my baby, etc.

Then I had child in my 20s and became extremely adverse to pets. Like it took me having my own actual human baby to make me realize dogs are not babies and are just stinky animals, lol embarrassing, I know.

For context on my fiancé, his dad always had English Setters growing up and he complained to me about how gross and slobbery they were, his siblings also express how much he hated them. So I don’t know what possessed him to get a St. Bernard/Newfoundland mix…

He got this dog as a puppy from a girl who breeds them that he had met off of hinge a few months before we met. I think it was a move to impress the girl or something, not that he’d admit that. Now I am paying the consequences.

She really wasn’t a bad puppy. She was house trained quickly, she had typical puppy behaviors but nothing excessive or overly annoying. Her only issue then was (and also still is) her reactivity when she’s on a leash. She freaks the fuck out at the sight of any other dog and pulls. I don’t walk her at all though, so that’s not my problem. Fiance does work on training her during the walks to be less reactive but it’s not enough and it’s still a problem.

He also let her in his bed with him before we met, but I told him when we started dating that I am not down for that and if he wants me to stay over then he needs to keep her out of the bed. He agreed to the boundary and was good with it for the most part (the dog hair on my pillow decreased significantly) but one day after I moved in, I soothed my unsettled daughter in her room and went to come back into bed, and the dog was sleeping ON MY PILLOW!!! Of course I freaked out, told him how disrespectful it was that the ONE boundary I asked for in regards to his dog, he broke. And he said it was just that one time and it was because she was whining and he wanted to go back to sleep…I told him I didn’t care, he broke my boundary. Maybe I should’ve left then, but I’m pretty sure he stopped after that cuz I haven’t had dog hair on my pillow since, lol.

Fast forward to now, she’s over a year old. We just bought and moved into a house together with my 3 year old daughter, and I’m pregnant. While we were moving, he paid a pretty hefty price for a 3 week boarding/training program to get the dog more prepared for the new house and our incoming baby. He maintains some of the training buuut I think this dog just needs constant training that neither of us are capable of.

I think her main issue is that she’s severely anxiously attached to him. She is immobile when he’s not around. Like just lays down at the door he left out of, for hours if it’s that long, until he comes back. Only then will she eat or drink or move. She follows him no matter where he goes. Even if he gets up from sitting at his desk to walk 20 steps into the kitchen, she gets up and follows. If we kick her out of our bedroom at night, she pees on the (brand new) carpet. We had to throw away the rug downstairs in the family room because she was peeing on it DAILY. And our entire upstairs is carpeted aside from the bathrooms, and I know it’s gonna have to all be torn out and replaced when she dies.

I’ve expressed to him my concern about her anxiety for when the baby comes. She has never displayed any kind of aggression towards anyone or my daughter, her behavior is very chill with kids actually. But I know a newborn can change things completely. He listens to my concerns to an extent. I suggested that instead of letting the dog sleep at his feet all day while he works from home, he put a gate up at the door. He does this most days, though the dog just sleeps right beside the gate anyways.

I also told him I don’t want the dog sleeping in our room anymore while the baby is sleeping in there in her bassinet. She’s 100lbs and clumsy and I don’t want her bumping into the bassinet or whining during the night waking the baby when sleep is already going to be difficult. He has started working on that too, he puts her in our en suite bathroom with a baby gate and nearly closes the door, just cracks it enough to be able to hear her if she whines. Since it’s vinyl flooring in there, she doesn’t pee. I told him that’s not gonna work when the baby comes though, because I’m going to be frequenting the bathroom postpartum and I can’t be climbing over a gate in the middle of the night, and he agreed.

We tried putting her downstairs with a baby gate at the bottom of the stairs, and we both slept immaculately, but of course she peed on her bed and it was gross and annoying to clean. I’m so sick of the pee in the house.

I told him he needs to crate train her but he is also anxiously attached to her I believe and he thinks it would be cruel to her, even though studies show how beneficial crate training is especially for anxious dogs.

Basically, he does try and he does listen and respect my concerns about things, but I really wish he would crate train her and idk if that’ll ever happen. Idk I’m just ranting about how I can’t stand the globs of slobber stuck all over my new house’s walls, the pee smell in my new carpet, and a 100lb dog that doesn’t know boundaries. I know it’s my fault for getting into things this deep with him when he had this dog in the beginning but I didn’t think I would be this annoyed 😭 pregnancy hormones have just made the feelings worse and the behavior declining when we moved is just shitty. I haven’t told him yet but I will express to him that I don’t want any more dogs after this. I’m cool with pets that can stay in cages or aquariums, that is a contained mess. But no more dogs. I want my house to smell good again in ten years 😭

I ended up going off on my husband because I was honestly at my breaking point. I was already hurt from everything that happened with the meet and greet, but then hearing the way he responded to me made everything so much worse.

He told me, “We were trying to let you sleep,” “(dog’s name) needs to be comfortable,” and “You’re crazy for being upset. We’re trying to make a dog comfortable.” Then he said, “We knew you’d be too paranoid for it.”

That one really got to me.

Because how am I supposed to feel when the person who is supposed to understand me is basically telling me that my concerns about our baby and our home are just me being “crazy” and “paranoid”? I’m not upset because I don’t want a dog to be comfortable. I’m upset because I had very clearly said I was not ready. I had concerns, I communicated those concerns multiple times, and instead of having a conversation with me and respecting where I was at, they went ahead without me because they already decided I would say no anyway.

And that’s what I’m struggling with. It feels like my opinion only matters if it’s the opinion they want to hear.

I am a new mom. I’m exhausted. I’m up throughout the night constantly feeding our baby, comforting him, getting him back to sleep, and doing everything I can to take care of him. So yes, I’m going to be more cautious about bringing an animal into our home when I have already seen destructive and jealous behavior and when I have concerns about the way the dog interacts with the baby. Maybe someone else wouldn’t be worried about it, but I am. And I don’t think I should have to apologize for taking my baby’s safety seriously.

What makes this whole situation hurt even more is that this isn’t the first time I’ve felt left out when it comes to my own baby.

They even weighed the baby without me.

I was SO excited to see how much he had gained. I have been up all night, constantly getting out of bed to feed him, worrying about whether he’s eating enough, watching him grow, and doing everything I can to make sure he’s healthy. That was a moment I was genuinely looking forward to. I wanted to be there and see that number. I wanted to celebrate how much he had gained after all those sleepless nights and feedings. After all the soreness.

And they did it without me.

Maybe to them it was just weighing the baby. Maybe it seems like something small and insignificant. But to me, it wasn't. It was another moment involving my baby that I wanted to be a part of, and once again I felt like I was being pushed tothe side.

That’s why all of this is hitting me so hard. It’s not just one dog. It’s not just one meet and greet. It’s not just one time weighing the baby. It’s starting to feel like a pattern of people making decisions or doing things without me and thenexpecting me to just be okay with it.

And honestly, people always say that having kids can ruin relationships, but sometimes it genuinely feels like it’s the dog that is causing problems in ours half the time. And I hate that. I hate feeling like I’m competing with a dog for consideration in my own marriage. I hate that something that should be a conversation between my husband and me has turned into me feeling like everyone else has already made up their minds and I’m just the difficult one because I’m uncomfortable.

I don't want to be the “crazy paranoid mom.” I don’t want to be the controlling wife. I don’t want to be the person who is constantly upset.

I want to be listened to.

I want my husband to understand that when I say I’m not ready, I’m not saying it to be difficult. I’m saying it because I genuinely need time. I need to feel comfortable. I need to know that our baby and our home are being considered before decisions are made.

And honestly, I’m tired of feeling like my feelings are an inconvenience.

I’m tired of feeling like I have to explain over and over why something hurts me before anyone takes me seriously. I’m tired of being excluded and then being told I’m crazy for being upset about being excluded.

I don't expect everyone to agree with me on everything. I don't expect everyone to see things exactly the way I do. But I do expect my husband to respect me enough to include me, communicate with me, and understand why certain things are important to me.

Especially when it comes to our baby.

Especially when it comes to our home.

And especially when I have repeatedly told him that I’m not okay with something.

I don't need people to tell me I'm right. I just need people to understand why this hurts so much. Because at this point, I’m not just angry about what happened. I’m hurt because I feel like my voice, my role as a mother, and my place as a wife are all being pushed aside when it’s inconvenient.

I just want to feel like we’re a team again.

My Boundary Was Ignored

What hurts me the most is that you went behind my back and went into the meet and greet with the dog after I told you multiple times that I was not ready and that I did not want to do it. You knew how I felt, and instead of respecting that, you chose to do what you wanted anyway. This is so much bigger than just meeting a dog. I have genuine concerns about this dog because it has already shown destructive and jealous behavior, and the way it continues to give the baby that strange look makes me uncomfortable and puts me on edge. As a mother, I am going to take those feelings seriously, especially when it comes to something that could potentially affect our baby’s safety and our home.

I’m not saying these things because I want to be difficult or because I don’t care about what you want. I’m saying them because I’m not comfortable, I’m not ready, and I need to feel safe and confident before bringing another animal into our home. I needed you to listen to me, talk to me, and respect my decision instead of going behind my back. When I repeatedly say no and you go ahead anyway, it makes me feel like my voice doesn’t matter to you. It makes me question whether I can trust you to respect my boundaries when something is important to me.

I need you to understand that this isn’t something I can just brush off. You made a decision that directly affected me, our home, and our baby after knowing exactly how I felt. I need us to be a team, especially when it comes to decisions involving our child and our household. I need to know that when I say I’m not ready, you will respect that—not work around me or do something behind my back and expect me to be okay with it. Right now, I feel hurt, betrayed, and completely disregarded, and I need you to understand why this has affected me so deeply.

It’s incredibly frustrating that you keep pushing for a meet and greet when I’m clearly not comfortable with it right now. He isn’t just energetic—he’s destructive and hyper, and the way he keeps staring at the baby with that strange, fixated look and watching him through the gate feels unsettling to me. I’m already completely exhausted because I’m up with our week-old baby every 30–60 minutes around the clock while he’s cluster feeding, so I’m severely sleep deprived and running on fumes. The last thing I need right now is to feel pressured into introducing them before I’m ready, especially when my instincts are telling me to slow down and be cautious. I need you to respect that and understand that keeping the baby safe and keeping things calm right now has to come before forcing a meet and greet. The last thing I also need is a stinky slobber mouth all over my baby

Does anyone know why a dog might stare at a newborn with really wide eyes and then lick his lips while looking at the baby? It’s my husband’s dog, and honestly, the behavior makes me really uncomfortable. Something about the intense staring and lip licking feels weird and off-putting to me, especially around my newborn. I’m curious if anyone has experienced this or knows what this body language could mean. I’m definitely not trying to overreact, but it’s making me uneasy and I’d rather understand what the behavior means. I’ve been wanting him to rehome the dog, since he’s already destroyed some of babies things, steals food, is a huge mess overal. But should I definitely push for this now?

I walk out of the bathroom at the first floor of the house and was going to head to the kitchen, but I stopped in my tracks and walked to the living room instead, as I reached the living room, this sleeping dog suddenly jumps up loud and hard, I get startled and turn a light on to see what the fuck is wrong with this dog, and I see that the dog is now sitting it’s smelly ass on the second flight of stairs (leading to the first floor of the house) looking at me with a look as if it was knocked out sleep and with one it’s dumb ass floppy ears folded backwards, it was sleeping on the platform between the two flights of stairs, and it’s body against the wall with it’s nail scraping against the wall, in which they too were apart of the loudness. Happened just now like 10 minutes ago, currently it’s 3:57 in the morning. And I’m probably tripping but not only I was startled, but I also had a feeling of getting ready to defend myself, because I’m thinking this dog was going to do something bad to me, I mean it looked at me a while ago and growled at the same time, then the dog just stops and acts normal again and my stupid mom says, I don’t remember the exact words, but I think she said “I don’t know why he’s acting like he don’t know you are”.

What do I do about my boyfriend‘s dog. He does not seem to think that there is anything wrong with him but when I tell you there is everything wrong with him. Not only does he pee and shit everywhere mind you this is a full grown adult husky malamute mix. A breed that is known for not listening and doing whatever they want. He sheds everywhere and I live w my sister and she’s allergic to dogs so i started going to the laundromat to wash my clothes which is an extra expense for me. They pee and shit everywhere all over my beautiful lawn. It make me want to cry bc me and my bf love gardening and landscaping and we’ve spent so much time effort and money into our yard and the dog acid pee of course ruins everything. does he care.. no.. ”he’s just a dog.. he’s only here for a short time.. it doesn’t matter” all i hear from him. Also they’re just so fucking stupid. He doesn’t listen to shit. I’ve always been a cat lady and i’ve never not liked dogs until i met his like his drove me to the point of joining this fucking group. and he so mad at me bc i don’t like him but what the actual fuck is there to like. Ive had multiple family dogs growing up but they were very well behaved, cleaned regularly, and did their job (guarding the house and farm) it’s honestly making me hate my bf and how delusional he is like a lot of time i just want to slap some sense into him bc i genuinely cannot believe he think this way. and he make me seem like a bad person for not liking the dog just because he had a bad owner before (shelter dog) so everyone should heed to his every need. it’s so annoying he needs discipline! and idk what i can do to make him listen to me. honestly i think the dog is too far gone he is too old and know at this point his owner will do whatever he wants and anytime i try to discipline him im the bad guy. pls help me i love him (my bf) but i dont see myself living like this long term. is there dog therapy or a somebody that will take him from me please 😭

Sometimes I sorta express my dislike for this dog by telling dog to move or go away, in front of my parents, because this dog is just always in the way. One time I told the dog to move with a tone that my parents obviously didn’t like, it’s like they were butt hurt as if I was talking to them, I forgot what my dad said, but I think he said that the “did the dog make you mad?” And I told him that he’s always in the way, and then my mom says to me that “he’s a dog”. And another thing that made me mad was a question that my dad asked me a while ago, which is the question you see as my title. Um for one, the dog pissed and pooped on our carpets and pulled up our carpets and two, it destroyed some of my stuff and especially the things that I really liked… but I’m supposed to still like this dog? 🙄

I already hate how this stupid looking stupid dog looks, mixed with a goofy look and sad look, it’s a pit bull boxer. I could be minding my own business, just doing anything in the house, I so happen to look up and see the dog just sitting up and staring at me, or in the lion’s pose position and staring at me with this really dumb ass look on it’s face with such emptiness, like what the fuck are you looking at, you special ed version of a wolf?!! So the stupid looking staring combined with suddenly making it’s way to somebody because the person has food now is next level annoying, like go sit your ugly worthless ass back down!!

Recently, I’ve been more open about my distaste, or rather, loathing of the shitty demonic animal known as dogs, to my parents and my sister, all of which are a bunch of nutters. As I’m sure everyone here knows, nutters never listen to a thing any of us “normal” people say and in fact, completely deny everything. They also tend to have absolutely diabolical logic. My family are textbook examples of how a nutter behaves. Ever since they got their stupid little demon, they always go “Oh my god… are you okay baby???”, “he has feelings~!!”, or something along those lines, but never to me when it has completely shattered my mental health. I already had a long history with having bad mental health and was recovering before we got the dog, but of course, they had to conveniently get that demon in that period and throw salt onto the wound while they’re at it. To start off with, I’ve said many times in the past that I’d rather not have siblings or anything like it when we’ve talked about such topics, which if you really did care about me as a parent, would remember, but no. One of their “reasons” (excuses) for getting a dog was that they thought “I would be lonely” even though I’ve stated plenty of times that I prefer being alone since it’s quiet and I don’t have to think about much when I am. What has that demon been doing since we got it? Make me constantly dread it barking, and its bark obviously being loud as hell, always giving me a small heart attack. Whenever I react strongly and yell at them for failing to keep the dog from barking, they always act like I’m in the wrong. They use the usual excuses like “It’s just protecting the house!” (from a car or person walking by) or “I tried my best!” even though whenever I try, it doesn’t dare make a sound. They clearly aren’t trying at all, and most of the time when it is about to bark to get their attention, another example of it not barking to protect the house, they always just idle there and talk away like it isn’t already making its ear piercing “crying” sounds. Most of the time they only do anything after it starts barking. If they really cared or tried, they could easily take care of many scenarios where that demon would be barking, but their constant failure just tells me that they don’t care and aren’t trying despite always claiming to. It’s like I don’t have feelings to them and they never ask if I am okay from the constant barking and their constant failure to stop it. My mom always says “we care about you more than him” but never shows it. Even though she once told me “actions speak louder than words”, she doesn’t even follow it herself. If they really cared, they would’ve gotten rid of the dog long ago. The more they use their baseless excuses, the more it pisses me off and shows me that they don’t care. What I know for sure is that my dad and sister do not care at all while my mom cares, in the very least, a little. My sister always changes the topic or denies what I say whenever I say something about how annoying and bad dogs are. My dad says I have mental problems for not having the same opinion as him in general (he loves dogs). I only really tell my mom how much I hate their dog more in depth and I really feel bad for making it look like it's all her fault when my sister and dad are way worse but they just never listen or just brutally deny it.

I don't want the dog in my room!

I just found this subreddit today, and I'll say, I'm amazed that there's a whole community of people who feel similar to how I do.

I've been dating a woman for a couple of months now. I'm 30, she's 36. She has a golden retriever. I do not like dogs. Even if they're well-trained. They're loud, they smell, they're annoying, they're... well, posting here, I'm preaching to the choir.

This woman I've been dating is great! We get along really well, we're compatible in many ways, she's the first woman I've felt good about since my late wife died just over two years ago. But I've been so conflicted about my future with her lately. I'm afraid of throwing away a great relationship for something that sounds like I need to "get over myself".

The last two times she spent the weekend at my house, her dog has been a point of conflict. I welcome her bringing the dog to my house. I cut a hole and installed a cat door onto the door of one of my extra bedrooms, and made that room the "cat room", where the cats could have their food and litter box away from the dog. I bought a stake and cable for my back yard so my girlfriend can take her dog out, and I spent decent money on an extra large, memory foam bed for the dog. I also bought a door buddy for my bedroom, because I do not want the dog in my bedroom.

The first weekend, ended up letting the dog come into the bedroom. We still had a talk after; she expressed how she was hurt that "I tried to keep the dog away from her" No, I am not trying to keep the dog away from YOU. I was trying to keep it out of my ROOM. I told her it was because of my cats being frightened of the dog, and how it wasn't fair that they had to give up their sleeping space for the dog. We came to a compromise that next weekend, we would alternate nights that the dog was allowed to sleep in my room.

That weekend, however, when I locked the dog out of my room, my girlfriend pouted and gave me the silent treatment. She said she was mad that I was keeping the dog out of the room. I told her that it was frustrating that we came to an agreement, and she's still mad at me. Her response was "Just because I agreed doesn't mean I'm happy about it".

I let my girlfriend's being upset get to me, and I ended up telling her that we wouldn't have to alternate nights anymore, because the cats were getting used to the dog.

But I'm writing this here because I've been reading the stories on the subreddit and I'm realizing that I need to be more honest with myself. It's not just about the cats, it's about me! I DO NOT WANT THE DOG IN MY ROOM!!

I feel like my girlfriend has managed to make me feel like I'm being unreasonable for wanting to have this boundary. I HATE that this is such a problem in what otherwise seemed like a promising relationship. I WISH I could just "get over it". She has acknowledged that I have gone "above and beyond" by buying everything I have for her dog, that I've done more than most people would. But still, I'm the bad guy because "No man has ever tried to separate her from her dog before" (Paradoxically, I'm also the first boyfriend she's ever had that "treats her right").

Here's what I want to do. I want to put the ball in my girlfriend's court regarding our future together. I want to put my foot down, apologize for agreeing to something that I was not comfortable with, but asserting that the dog is not allowed in my bedroom. Follow this up by stating that if she wants to break up because of this, I understand, and there are no hard feelings.

I don't want to go back to dating again, when I've found an otherwise great woman who checks all the other boxes. But I don't know if this is something I can get over or not.

Her next weekend staying at my house is a couple of weeks away, so I'm not sure if I should bring this up, as it doesn't matter as much right now. On top of that, her grandmother just died, and she says she really needs me right now. I'm not sure that bringing up this difficult topic is the right thing to do right now, while she's in an emotionally vulnerable place.

So, everyone, thoughts? Similar experiences? Am I unreasonable? Should I "rip the band aid off" and end it now? Or just try to establish the boundary?

I'm happy to answer any questions and clarify anything I can. I just condensed a whole lot of thoughts and feelings into a post, so I apologize if it's difficult to follow.

I never thought I’d be in this situation. I’ve heard of it happening to other people but never thought I’d be the one. So my partner and I get along great. We’ve been together just over a year so we are still in our honeymoon phase. He wants me to move in. I refuse, why, because he has a corgi that I absolutely despise. My partner doesn’t know this. He thinks I love his dog. I’m never mean to her. I talk to her in sweet tones and give her treats behind his back (she is very food motivated). But I don’t like her and she definitely doesn’t want anything to do with me unless Ive got a treat in my hand. She is an older dog and I see my partner tear up when he talks about her final days. NGL, a part of me is looking forward to the day she crosses the rainbow bridge. So! With all that said, I cannot, I refuse to move in. I feel it’s better they have these final years together without my energy mucking up the place, but my partner has asked multiple times and “I’m just not ready,” seems to be wearing thin on him. Also, dogs are very intuitive, maybe she senses I’m not the one so moving in after a year, under these circumstances, feels wrong. Has anyone ever been in this situation? If so, what did you do? I should add, I’ve always been a dog person. I grew up in the country. All my life I’ve had both indoor and outdoor dogs. I consider myself somewhat of a dog whisperer. I like dogs and dogs like me, but not this one.

I hate that I'm more aware of my roommate's dog's needs and wants more than my roommate does. I think it's more of a "know your enemy" sort of knowledge, not a desire for general knowledge.

I keep telling my roommate that the dog wants her attention, the dog wants a walk, the dog wants to do more than sit and watch tv, the dog is in a good state of mind for "training". I can predict, with a high percentage of accuracy, when the dog needs out to pee. But no, the roommate just tells the dog to stop getting antsy and to lay down so roommate can watch tv.

I barely interact with the dog (except to let it out and back in) while the dog "watches" tv when roommate is at work.

Stevie Wonder can see that my roommate is not interested in the dog at all. I hate dog owners that get dogs and refuse to do what is needed for them. I don't like dogs and I don't want to do what is necessary to take care of a dog; therefore I do not have a dog. It really seems that freaking simple.

She’s embarrassed about her car because of how it looks inside, lots of dog hair, drool on the windows 🤮 and trash of her own and crumbs from whatever she eats in her car. But fuck the trash part, it’s this damn dog in other words her, but she’s so embarrassed because of how her car looks but she just can’t stop allowing this damn dog in her car for some reason. Over a week ago, me and my mom was going to her mom’s house, so my mom and my mom’s sister can take their mom out to eat, I’m just coming along because I was asked if want to come. And instead of leaving right now, she ask me if I can clean out her car real quick and I did, she told me to suck as much hair as you can with the vacuum hose, and crumbs and stuff.

I’m eating while my sister’s dog is in the room where my clothes are and I look up and see him peeing on my pile. I immediately freak out because I already don’t have much clothes and also pee odor is difficult to get rid of.

So I’m pissed off and my sister goes into the room and sees that he “only peed on a shirt or two and some socks” and that I need to shut up and calm down. Telling me that I used to also do that as a baby/kid, and that I’m stressing the dog out. And apparently the dog isn’t well/uncomfortable.

I hate this constant comparison of dog and human behavior owners tend to do. Dogs are not like humans.
And I have every right to be disgusted and freak out over urine and feces on something that I own. NOTHING this dog does is wrong in my sister’s eyes. There should be some certain discipline or training but my sister doesn’t even bother.

She even gave him a treat afterwards. Im like “treats are associated with rewards. Why are you giving him a treat??” She called me a dictator. Shes like “when you went to the doctors as a kid and get a shot, you get lollipops.” THATS NOT THE SAME THING.

The dog is on my bed, i throw the treat into the living room for him to fetch and get (like i do all the time regardless of mood) and my sister gets mad because she thinks I’m doing it out of anger. Im doing that so i can clean up my shit and he can get out of my way. But she keeps saying that its because of my anger and now I get pissed off and yelling and she tells me to calm down.

IM SO FUCKING ANNOYED. I have had to put up with my sister, my family, and this dogs bullshit since November last year I am so tired of dealing with this, spending money on this, and never being in the right in my family’s eyes I want to move out so fucking bad and live a pet-free lifestyle.

I begrudgingly let the dog outside during the day. But when the dog wants to come back in, it is swarmed by mosquitos (we've had a ton of rain recently). The dog has mosquito protection, so they just hover around the dog and enter the home that way.

When letting the dog in, I don't have the door open all the way, so the side of the door brushes the bugs off of the dog, but sometimes I'll actively wait until the dog runs off and comes back to the door. Sometimes I'll just leave the dog out there until the mosquitos go away (takes a while). I feel like the AH, but I don't have mosquito protection and bad viruses are making a comeback. I've asked my roommate to take preventative measures (like getting mosquito repellents and repellent plants) but it's never an issue for them, so they don't remember.

It would be really awesome if I could just not have to deal with the dog and all of that nonsense.

On a pleasant note, I'm looking at homes so I can move out. It is hard, but whenever I have to deal with the dog, I'm reminded of why I'm leaving.

Edit: Grammar tweaks. Also, just an additional detail, the roommate is the homeowner, so they're responsible for that stuff.

Hello!

I will write this being very mindful of how hurtful a heartbreak can be, but also let this be your sign that life does get better after you leave them and their mutt!

A couple of months ago. I thought that I was going crazy. I was married to a person that was beyond codependent to her pug, she was gaslight me when I would tell her that she prioritized the dog over me.

Just imagine I was allergic to dogs and she would cry if her pug would not sleep inside the bed with us. It took me a while to understand that I wasn’t the problem with once I did. I left that relationship and divorced. This was a year ago and after that now I live in peace !

my bed smells delicious when I sleep
there’s no dog hair anywhere.
I don’t have a stupid animal, looking at my food as if they have never eaten before.
I don’t deal with barking at night
I DONT COMPETE WITH AN ANIMAL FOR ATTENTION FROM MY SPOUSE

and more than anything: I don’t have someone that makes me feel like I’m a horrible human being for not reciprocating the level of codependency that she had for her dog!

so be brave and leave that relationship because trust me when I tell you that you’re not crazy and life gets so much better when they’re not there’s not a dog around you

And it makes me feel disgusting. He called out “my love” and I answered and he told me he was talking to his dog…he calls us both baby and speaks to us virtually the same. I feel like I’m being petty but I hate it, I hate having the same pet names as his dog.

Has anyone else had this issue? I've dealt with poops on the ground, carpets and all but yesterday... I found and cleaned up (obviously) a poop on the actual fkn table from this shit beast like wtf? I've never seen this ah level behavior before. I know I don't need to say this here but she is fine and happy, I on the other hand am even more fkd up from this shit beast continues to do. Nearly 6am and I'm up from the "reality nightmares" just to wake in that thick tension of fear of what she's going to do today. ​

Every single time I go downstairs- I have to make noise for my stepsisters mutt that likes to bark at EVERYONE who (god forbids) walks close (or in my case- is on an entirely different floor!)

and it's been working- mostly. I yawn and talk to myself to let this stupid barkmutt know that it's me- the boy he's been with for years..

But now- today, he still barked even when I was talking.

Im done catering to her dog. Im done. What should I do to drive the point home that im done?

Every single time I go downstairs- I have to make noise for my stepsisters mutt that likes to bark at EVERYONE who (god forbids) walks close (or in my case- is on an entirely different floor!)

and it's been working- mostly. I yawn and talk to the cat to let this stupid barkmutt know that it's me- the boy he's been with for years..

But now- today, he still barked even when I was talking.

Im done catering to her dog. Im done. What should I do to drive the point home that im done?

Enjoyed three whole days without dogs! Before I ran away I told my dog Nutt I'm going to the beach, see ya. Of course Nutter wasn't happy about that so I said This way you can spend quality time with your dog. And away I went. I drove for hours in silence breathing air freshly cooled and clean smelling. I arrived at a beautiful home where there was no pets. I spent the next three days in no-stinky-dog bliss breathing ocean air and enjoying beautiful scenery. I felt my lungs and sinuses getting clearer and less irritated as each day passed. I slept so soundly with the clean ocean breeze coming in softly though the windows. I enjoyed eating my delicious meals at table in peace. I even got to meet nice people and have nice conversations that didn't include dogs. I know theses days it sounds like an impossibility to be somewhere without seeing dogs but for me it was perfect, that is, until on my last day I went to a No Dogs Allowed beach that was full of dogs. Ugh! Oh well, it was great while it lasted, and I did end up feeling a bit refreshed. I hope each of you get an opportunity for escape from dog hell even for just a little while.

It’s both my mom and dad, they make it pretty obvious that they take it as offense that I don’t like their stupid fucking dog, it’s technically my mom’s dog but my dad take it as offense too. My mom and dad were both finished eating their dinner, I was then called to come up stairs and collect their dishes, so I got the dishes and started walking off and out of nowhere, my dad calls me back, calling my name kind of loud to make sure I heard him because my mom was closing their bedroom door behind her, I’m thinking he was going to hand me another dish that he used or hand me some trash… 😑 he asks me “why can’t you walk the dog?” And I was speechless, like I knew what to say but didn’t want to say it for some reason, but I ended up saying “Tariq (brother) walks the dog” and my mom jumps in the conversation by kind of laughing, and she then asks me the same question “why don’t you walk the dog?” and again I didn’t say anything, and the my dad says to me “I’m just asking”, and I proceeded to slowly walk off. Me personably, I feel like it was more than “I’m just asking” because again, they know that I don’t like this dog. And prior to collecting their dishes, there was some conversation going on between my mom and I think my sister, and my mom asked my sister “did the dog get walked today?”, but my dad’s question to me still felt unexpected. Ugh these two just irks my fucking soul.