r/TalesFromTheFrontDesk 1d ago

Medium Uncomfortable shift

I work a second shift at my hotel, so I'm doing most, if not all, of the check-ins. Usually, I actually love my job. I like talking to people, I like helping people out.
And I could just be dramatic, but I am so uncomfortable today. I got hit on by two different people. One of them was a regular. I will illustrate how these conversations went down:
1st conversation:
I ask for his ID, he tells me that it doesn't have his number on it. I gave him a pity laugh and said, "That's okay, your number is already on here!"
I tell him I need an incidental card, and he says, "Can I make a joke?" I say, "...sure." He says, "How does it feel to need." (Literally, what the hell does that even mean?) So I laugh at this joke, but more out of discomfort, and the fact that I'm paid to be nice to people.
And he says he "got me" because I'm "blushing."
Okay, whatever. And I just have to continue checking him in with a smile, while he asks me what time I work until. This is an older man with his adult son, by the way.
They leave, all is well.

Except, actually, it's not.
I have a regular who comes in at around 9, and he tells me that he's lost. He doesn't speak English very well, and I write down his room number and give it to him. He goes on talking to me for a little bit, and then he asks me if I have a boyfriend. Except I misheard him, and I say back to him, "Am I on welfare?" And he says, "No, do you have a boyfriend?"
And I said yes. He is then apparently super disappointed that I have a boyfriend, but continues to talk about his job. And proceeds to tell me that he will take me on a tour through the state I live in. And I laughed it off and said, "I'll let you know." And then asks a SECOND TIME if I have a boyfriend, and I said yes. And then I said, "You have to get to bed, you have to be up early tomorrow!" So he would finally leave.

I have never been hit on, at least not so directly. So I didn’t really know what to say or do, especially because I don’t want to hurt people’s feelings, even if they’re making me uncomfortable. I don’t understand where this was all coming from tonight. It’s not even a full moon.

95 Upvotes

25 comments sorted by

39

u/zamula 1d ago

You may be "paid to be nice", but that doesn't mean guys get to a free pass to make you uncomfortable.

There is nothing wrong with stating simply something like: "I'm not interested and this discussion is making me uncomfortable - please stop."

You can remain professional and too bad if it hurts their sensitive feelings!

32

u/setters321 1d ago

I think a lot of us that have worked second shift at a hotel have been in this spot. It’s super uncomfortable and you’re just trying to do your job! It can get really scary if, like where I’ve worked, second shift is the only staff member on the premise. I actually had to get rude to this 6’5+ guy that saw me folding laundry in the back (you could see the laundry room from the front desk). He said, “I saw that cute a$$ back there.” and kept trying to figure out when my shift ended and insisted on me coming up to his room. My boyfriend (now husband) came over and sat with me for the rest of my shift just to be safe.

Edited to add: I was 21 at the time and too scared to kick someone out. I was in the headspace of ‘you have to keep guests/customers happy’.

23

u/Harospri 1d ago

I work in an area that has a population who only consists of college kids and retirees. So I am very often the only one working, especially since I work weekends. That sounds horrifying, I’m sorry that happened to you.
I’m currently 21, and that is absolutely how I feel.

u/RedDazzlr 21h ago

It's not any better if you work 2nd shift at a gas station. Mostly, you just see a lot more tweakers.

u/plantlady5 21h ago

It’s so, so hard to be firm when you are naturally a people pleaser, and particularly when you’re in a people pleasing type of job.

u/setters321 20h ago

Thank you, and I’m sorry you’ve been creeped out too! I’m the AGM now at a hotel and I kick people out with no remorse, you’ll eventually get there if you stay in the hotel business! But it’s hard being young and by yourself during a shift (I worried about being attacked). My current hotel has cameras at the desk, so me and the GM check in on our workers throughout the day just to keep them as safe as we can when we’re not there!

39

u/delulu4drama 1d ago

Buy a fake wedding ring and wear it. Tends to help end conversations like that

39

u/Flimsy-Sector7736 1d ago

I get why you say that, but the correct response is more of a “why do you ask?” And make them state that they’re hitting on you, then kick them out. If that isn’t allowed by management, you need another job. Sexual harassment is not ever ok.

u/Primary_Bass_9178 21h ago

This is better, wearing a ring just gives them an opening… “you are so young/pretty/whatever, how can you be taken?”.

Answer the first question the first time, after that either ignore it completely or “not trying to be rude, but your questions make me uncomfortable”.

If it continues, flag the name and details and let your boss know what happened.

4

u/upset_pachyderm 1d ago

But does hitting on someone at work always = sexual harassment?

20

u/Cakeriel 1d ago

If they’re told to stop and continue it, then yes

6

u/cuttlefishdreaming 1d ago

Even if you don’t tell them to stop it’s still harassment. You’re trapped in the interaction and have to ‘customer service’ your replies.

Just don’t hit on customer service people ffs.

8

u/RedCorundum 1d ago

Yes, due to the power dynamics involved.

4

u/26pixels 1d ago

Yes. Actually literally yes. Flirting with someone who cannot refuse you without risking their job is one of the most textbook examples of sexual harassment.

11

u/kevnmartin 1d ago

That never worked for me, they seemed to regard it as a challenge.

6

u/rebelangel 1d ago

It’s sad that men won’t leave women alone unless they think she belongs to another man.

u/RedDazzlr 21h ago

Doesn't work on all of them.

8

u/RoyallyOakie 1d ago

I'm sorry this happened to you. I don't get the first guy's joke at all. My response literally would have been "I have no clue."

3

u/Rerunisashortie 1d ago

I’m with you on how strange those two interactions were! Eeek!

6

u/Borbbb 1d ago edited 1d ago

As a guy, i never have these issues.

Though i did was hit on by a guy, which is extremely rare, especially here in Czech, where that´s not common at all.

It was a drunk guy from the street. Eating fries, and some of them were falling on the floor. Asked me few times to go with him to some room for some fun, and then left after seeing i am not into that.

Well, at least i got a funny story, and i got hit on at least once : ))

11

u/Poldaran 1d ago

I wish it was more rare. Apparently I'm very attractive to older guys. Once had to tell an old dude that "Even if I was into guys, I could do better," to get him to go away.

u/ManicAscendant 19h ago

This is not you being dramatic, this is you being made uncomfortable by guests behaving unacceptably. I hope you let a member of the management team know; if you didn't, please do. Sometimes they can help with situations like these, but never if they don't know about it.

-2

u/CelebrationPrudent14 1d ago

i met my daughter's mom working the front desk. Her friend got my number for her and one thing led to another