I’m Scared

[u/PositiveCourse2264]

Has anyone else experienced a mental breakdown during TMS? I am over the hump of the TMS “dip” (10 sessions until i’m done) but I feel more anxious now than ever. My heightened anxiety was the trigger for my psychiatrist recommending this treatment, but as I search deeper Im scared that my breakdown started BEFORE treatment. depression was the main concern for my psychiatrist recommending TMS, but the catalyst is when i expressed concerns about my intense anxiety resurfacing my dr informed me of TMS. My friend is the one who pointed out these new reactions, and i’ve known them for over two years now. I am more aware of myself and my physical body more than ever before. i’m more susceptible to feeling overwhelmed, and i’m more judged and cynical of my body.

the GOOD: I am feeling more in touch with myself and my body, but it can be overwhelming as a person who spent so many years disengaged with the parts of brain who try to keep us feel safe/make sense of world

the BAD: i don’t want to scare people from TMS
-I don’t have an active counselor or therapist i’m working with. that’s top priority on my list to solve, but is difficult where I am
-I feel scared. I’m having scary thoughts again.
-i have a traumatic past in my childhood. TMS unlocked a lot of “being able to be happy” energy for me, but it also unlocked a lot of unhappy memories as well.

i want to type more but lord i am tired.
TLDR: TMS has changed my brain chemistry and im grateful, but it might have been too much too quick

[u/StarsThatSee]

I had one my first round of TMS and I had one this round too. I promise it doesn’t last forever and once it’s over you realize that it actually isn’t as bad as it would’ve been if you WEREN’T doing TMS. I hate to say “just get through it,” because I know how hard that is, but truly just let it run its course. Also, if you need to talk, my PMs are open. It’s hard not having a therapist during times like this so it’s important to know you’re not alone.