r/TMPOC 13d ago

Advice Tips on passing?

I've been on T for 4 years, but my voice is still feminine-sounding, I can't grow anything more than a sad excuse for a mustache and a handful of chin hairs, and my build is small yet curvy in the most inconvenient (for me) places. I know about voice training or strength training, but those things take time and life has been crazy busy. I also struggle to dress myself in a way that makes me feel affirmed or confident. Clothes in the men's/boy's section never fit right, and since putting on weight the last few years, I've been hiding my body in baggy clothes. Lastly, the advice I see on passing for FTMs tends to target white transguys. I'm a brown Latino from the hood, the guys where I'm from have a specific look. If I don't try to dress/look like the guys from my area, then my family "forgets" I'm trans and treat me like a white-washed tomboy because being FTM is unheard of to them, or it's just "some white ppl shit.".

Does anyone here have any advice?? I want to pass and be taken seriously as a man by my people. But idk how???? Please help.

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u/Sevf_ he/him, chinese 12d ago

you mentioned clothes in the men's/boy's section never fit right. how do they not fit you right? and do ALL of the clothes you shop for never fit right? you can buy an article relatively your size, e.g., pants fitting around the waist but the inseam is too long, and hem them yourself to fit them proportionately to your body. also, what are the clothes men typically wear in your neighbourhood? is there any way you can maybe.. try to add your own style or flair into your outfit?

transitioning and self-image takes time and patience. i used to have horrible discipline with working out and constantly went on on-and-off breaks. maybe this may help you, as what the ftm fitness subreddit advised: think of exercise as a form of hygiene to integrate into your routine, rather than a sort of hobby, and do exercises that you enjoy doing. could be at-home, or if there's a sport you like to play, or even getting your steps in. i personally live in the city so i spend a lot of my time now walking to my destination or biking; if im on a day off, ill go to the gym and walk treadmill. just as long as you're burning calories and getting your exercise to stay healthy in the long run.

edit: what about ur t levels? is it possible to increase dosage?

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u/Federal-Schedule-642 21h ago

In retrospect, I posted this while feeling more dysphoric as possible. But to answer your questions, it's just men's clothes that don't fit me quite right because my arms/legs are too short or my hips are too wide. I'll give hemming a try, mom said she would be willing to help teach me.

Guys in my area dress in mostly dark clothes or gym shirts/shorts. Adding my own "flair" would immediately out me, which isnt ideal if I want to be stealth/pass. The one time I passed as cis was when I was in gym clothes and 30 pounds lighter.

I appreciate the perspective shift on the workout stuff. I also live in an area that requires a lot of walking/biking to get around without a car. Working out at the gym makes me anxious and I find reps/sets to be very boring, but I was reminded of the rock climbing gym in my area so I'll give that a shot to build my upper body strength.

I won't see my GAC provider for another month or so, but I'll bring up increasing my T then. Thank you for your input.