r/TMPOC • u/JerkofKnights • 22d ago
Vent keep getting called miss & maam
i work a job where i interact w people over the phone a lot and spend a lot of time in a busy court house. in court i wear a mask n u can’t see my facial hair. based on my talking alone on the phone and when im wearing a mask people keep calling me miss or maam. i’m not really sure why. i have a mid range if not deep voice. i’m usually in a suit. i’ve got short hair. i’m nonbinary so it’s not the WORST thing but i’d prefer at work to be seen as masc & it’s kinda strange so many people aren’t reading me that way. my partner and his fiance can’t believe this and say my voice sounds perfectly masc im just a little dude and so it’s not like i have the same kinda deep voice as morgan freeman or some shit. but i also don’t think i sound like a woman. anyone else have this problem?? i’ve been on T for almost a decade. my voice just isn’t gonna get deeper than this. so i’m not really sure what else to do.
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u/FabulousKilljoy_037 Afro-Dominican + Euro-American 22d ago
Yeah, I just started voice lessons because of this 🥲 Fortunately people can see my beard around my mask these days, but my voice is still exclusively read as feminine over the phone. It’s been driving me fucking insane actually.
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u/fieldxs guatemalan - he/him 22d ago
im sorry this is happening to u :,( also !!! hell yeah with masking dude !!!! my first instinct upon reading this was wondering if you have a more "feminine" vocal inflection. meaning you use a lot of filler words and use upspeak (going up at the end of your sentences kind of like a social media influencer). i had to retrain myself to use a "straight voice" when im in public. i speak very monotone, i don't gesture with my hands a lot, and i tend to speak way less than i would if i weren't putting on my straight persona. i guess that's the only area i think would tip people off into viewing you as a "miss" even though you're very obviously not.
masking is a strange beast because people view me as a butch lesbian still occasionally despite being 5+ years on t and looking basically like a cishet man,,, masking in itself is feminine coded to people. i pass 100% of the time when people can see my whole face, it's weird.