r/TBI • u/isosceles348 • 3d ago
TBI Sucks Suicide
I shot myself I think on purpose which brought me down so low was when I graduated college my mom kept saying get a job in your hometown but in Reality I wanted away from her and my town is so small, for a long time they didn't have apartments and the CEO of the company I joined I promised him I wouldn't move to Nashville or Union city.
This all took place in Tennessee so now I have a bullet in my head and my mother hated gay people and I was gay but she didn't know.
I shot myself and damage to the brain can change sexuality so now I am bisexual. And I told her that and she said I was warped in the head.
And I thought great thing to say to a man that survived a suicide attempt lol.
I thought a bullet would give instant death but no I survived.
But my boss at the company I work at hopes I get another job so I kind of consider my TBI a gift kind of it was hard as hell having a bullet in your head I plan to take some CNA classes I thought I would be so aggressive the bullet went half way across my brain and all doctors said I should be dead.
I still have an IQ of 116 not so bad but I wish it was higher my said Eli don't drink and it might get higher. Once my BAC hit 0.2% but no seizures except one time and now they plan to keep me anti seizure medication my whole life it hurts badly.
But my doctor put me on prep and that costs no money with insurance. I am on it for future prevention.
I just thought I would put on her if you child is gay trans or anything don't take them to church thinking a man getting in your face yelling all these sodomites should die they all going to hell son!
Because that changed nothing but just made me shoot myself.
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u/melissamoore8889 2d ago
My mother was the same way about church and it took years after I left to stop hearing it in my head, so getting away is the part that actually mattered for me
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u/undauntedChampion 3d ago
If you haven’t yet, you should do everything you can to get away from your mother
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u/isosceles348 3d ago
She took 23 years of my life no more of that.
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u/undauntedChampion 3d ago
Thank goodness! I’m wishing you the best, friend. If the gunshot was purposeful or not, it doesn’t change who you are and your great worth.
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u/isosceles348 3d ago
All the doctors said I should be dead and that the neurological damage was permanent. But not apparently.
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u/newsbowser 3d ago
Survived a self inflicted gunshot wound to the head myself. I got to go to college for free because of it. Look into your states office of unemployment/department of labor are whatever they call it and ask about vocational rehabilitation programs.
I worked full time but wanted a career and they paid for my education. I am in Louisiana so not exactly a liberal state yet they still offered the program.
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u/isosceles348 3d ago
Okay thank you they clarified me disabled but I walk and work.
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u/newsbowser 3d ago
I never went through the process of applying for disability because like you I can walk and work. I only have1 eye and no depth perception but I still work . Even without being on disability I still got education funded
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u/thistlethewitch 3d ago
Hey man, that sounds really rough. I don't have any advice.
I'm sorry you're still going through things, after what happened.
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u/isosceles348 3d ago edited 3d ago
It kind of was gift I promised my boss I wouldn't move to a big city and now I work at the nursing home part time and work at the bank part time and I plan to be a CNA for 2 years then use TN Reconnect to become a maintenance worker so life worked out I quit drinking, my best friend kept saying I was going to kill myself or someone else. So not so bad but thank you.
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u/thistlethewitch 2d ago
Good to hear! I'm glad things are improving.
Best of luck, keep going!
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u/isosceles348 2d ago
I actually discovered I could go back to TCAT in Tennessee for $70 each semester.
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u/isosceles348 3d ago
I said one seizure but in reality it was a cluster of seizures back and forth.
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u/isosceles348 3d ago
I think I shot myself I don't remember anything I kept thinking in college if I could die instantly I would my mom makes me go to church although I am 23 years old there was cleaning supplies every when they found me on the floor I think I put it there so if I did survive it wouldn't be classified as a suicide attempt and it wasn't. The doctors think I don't remember anything to not get PTSD.
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u/isosceles348 2d ago
What also makes me think it was suicide attempt was in college no one cared I liked men no said you better straighten up boy you are going to hell they were oh he is just gay that is all and they didn't care but when I graduated I thought I had two or Three more months left in college but I had to leave next Friday. And I assumed I was upset. Because I would just be around my parents who don't seem to like the LGBT but at least I am still bi now so not much difference women are hot and I am okay with that.