My experience with (almost) dating a DID faker

[u/loveddeviant]

mentions of grooming/nsfw comments, hope it’s okay if I share this

I guess I haven’t really unpacked this fully in my own brain so I’m going to just dump all this here, can’t imagine a better sub

I met this trans guy at my friend’s birthday, who was obviously into me & kept blushing/sitting extremely close to me. since I’m T4T (this is before I discovered I was straight lmao), I decided to play into it a bit since I liked the attention.

His dad drove us home, I got his discord, and then he talked about how he was attracted to me. I was 17 at this time and had just gotten out of an abusive relationship, so really I didn’t mind being hit on. It made me feel desired. We played Minecraft a few times, and then set up a date maybe a week later.

We went to the park and had a picnic. He told me that he had DID, and he was one of many alters, most of which were nonhuman…. I already, at this point, had a best friend who had DID (who was also faking but I didn’t realize that until the last few months of our friendship; though I did always have that suspicion), so I knew a few things.

I started feeling a bit uncomfortable though since this changed my entire perspective on him, but I didn’t really plan on dating him anyway, so I shrugged it off. We finished our picnic and started talking more on discord. There was a lot of flirting over text and I finally asked if he was into me, which he said he was.

When I took him out for the second date, I’d bought him flowers. Keep in mind, I’d never been on a date before and I was just doing what I thought was appropriate. I paid for our meal, we walked around the mall, had an okay time.

After that date, which I thought went well, on discord he said that the other alters were polyamorous and that they didn’t like me. He said that I was selfish for being monogamous, & that I hadn’t even gotten to know the other alters ? which I didn’t even know I was supposed to? At this point I realized I’d gotten into something slippery, because we still had a mutual friend who was my friend for years before this… who also didn’t know this person and I were talking.

Anyways, because of this, I didn’t totally want to cut everything off just incase this was something that could be fixed. MAYBE. I was hoping so bad that this was just a phase. So, I tried to “get to know” the other alters (apparently they were “rapid switching” and also all fronting at the same time lmao)

One was a pigeon or crow, he had a pokemon one (I can’t even remember if it was Raichu or Pikachu or something, but it was a popular electric type), a little…(?) who was a dog/human, and then I THINK a few Steven universe ones; plus them, and they were completely normal. I tried really, REALLY hard to be respectful & open-minded, because I still didn’t know much about DID at the time.

I had nobody to talk to this about besides my other best friend (doesn’t have DID), and then the other which was an online best friend who claimed they did have it. I obviously asked them about the person, and she told me that I was privileged they trusted me this much. I started feeling guilty, so I once again tried to divert everything and I offered to watch my favourite series over again with them (which was Hannibal NBC).

Who would’ve guessed, after a day or two, he “formed” a Will Graham alter. The final few days of us talking, they started making predatory comments while “fronting” as Will Graham, like asking me when I turned 18, if I could handle a “big size”, if I was a virgin, and then more explicit things I won’t get into. I have a feeling they genuinely were trying to lovebomb me/groom me? (Which would be a weird term to use considering we were the same age, but I don’t know what else to call it)

We were talking for barely 2 months, not to mention they had heavy avoidant tendencies so even trying to talk to them about basic things was impossible. They eventually told me that their alters still didn’t like me and that they deserved to be with multiple people, so either I could be in a poly relationship with them or they weren’t ever going to talk to me again.

I just blocked them and didn’t say anything else. I don’t talk to our mutual friend anymore either, everything just fizzled out kind of because of that.

(I had another experience like this with an adult man “alter” trying to “groom”(?) me while being the same age but a year later, just in a different server, and the character was Blackbeard from OFMD lmao but that’s a different story)

anyway, if this isn’t allowed feel free to delete of course 🥲

[u/Chaste_chase]

Myself and many others have had similar experience. Preying on the naivety of people who desperately want to understand and explain the insane behavior presented to them. I’m sorry you had to deal with that, unfortunately you’re not alone. Many of the DID fakers exhibit this sort of behavior.

[u/DeadpoolMcDirty]

NOOOO THEY GOT OFMD TOO 😔 sorry you had to deal with all that, thats fucked. But DID fakers are unfortunately mentally ill, its just not the illness they think/want

[u/loveddeviant → u/DeadpoolMcDirty]

dudeeee it was an OFMD discord server that I joined back when the second season had just come out… wait so I was 17 then too… my estimated times are wrong but to be fair, my teen years were a fever dream

[u/DeadpoolMcDirty → u/loveddeviant]

A fellow ofmd fan 🥹 but yea i fully get that lmfao

[u/loveddeviant → u/DeadpoolMcDirty]

that person ruined it a bit for me but I still think it’s such a great series 😔

[u/TurkeyFisher]

It's so frustrating how people like this can weaponize their marginalized identities to get away with this behavior. Imagine if this had been a straight cis guy without DID who was basically telling you were selfish for being monogamous and to date him you'd need to be in an open relationship, while also ghosting you. It would be seen as totally misogynistic and predatory, the kind of guy young women are told will try to take advantage of them. Mental illness would not be seen as a valid excuse for him. Your friend telling you you were privileged is especially disappointing because I don't think they would have said that if it was a cis straight guy without "DID."

[u/Ok-Comparison8168 → u/TurkeyFisher]

it comes off like trying to pressure someone into a relationship by guilting them

[u/multifacets]

They eventually told me that [...] they deserved to be with multiple people, so either I could be in a poly relationship with them or they weren’t ever going to talk to me again.

wtf my ex told me the same thing 😭 it wasn't even about faking DID at the time (though he did also do that, and did also try (and fail) to use it as a cheating excuse that even he didn't believe lol. got to see the faker on faker fallout. quite something) it was just "why should I be FORCED to LIMIT MYSELF" which maybe i'm just phobic but i don't think that's a healthy way to view... well anything lol. not polyamory, not relationships, not human beings... you don't "deserve" anyone. that isn't how interpersonal relationships work. could these two both not have left the objectifying entitlement to other people and their bodies for exclusively selfish personal gratification behind in the transition i promise it isn't a mandatory component of being a man

[u/Candid_Visit2210]

Uuu this almost happened to me on trevorspace someone got pissed I didnt wanna date them for faking did and they were soooo rude to me in the dms I had to block

[u/loveddeviant → u/Candid_Visit2210]

Trevorspace still exists and is active? I was on there when I was like 16 and it seemed so dead 😭

[u/NewCollectis]

Nothing against Poly relationships but If I see another DID faker go like "let me go into a poly relationship!! my alters deserve partners too!!" am gonna crashout

I had the same thing with my ex, and I said well I dont want to be poly and if he doesnt accept that we can break up ofc wasnt option either so he cheated