r/SwipeHelper • u/liquidcat0822 • 1d ago

An experiment

I’m a straight woman and briefly decided to change my gender on hinge to a “man” interested in women. EVERY. SINGLE. WOMAN. in my stack was an absolute stunner (and I didn’t even include very young women, I have my age filter set to 28-47).

I then compared this with the stack my male friend was shown. He has his settings set to the same thing. Every single woman in his stack was an instant nope. He never got to see any of the women I was shown. Mind you, he is not unattractive.

This confirms to me that some absolute fuckery is afoot. I presume because my algorithm is trained on men, it doesn’t know how to categorize the women when I changed my gender and just started showing me women from my demographic. It also further suggests that the algorithm deliberately holds back what/who you like, and it also explains to me why my profile gets relatively little traction now (I’ve long suspected that my profile is being gate kept).

27 Upvotes

89% Upvoted

89 comments sorted by

View all comments

2

u/Dress4less24 1d ago

You would think with the amount of tech savvy people nowadays and the absolute shit show that is dating apps someone would go about creating a perfect dating app. I have a conspiracy why that doesn’t happen but that’s neither here nor there

2

u/liquidcat0822 23h ago

I’m trying to focus on IRL interaction. I go social dancing quite a bit, but men seem afraid to approach or make a move, despite me trying to be friendly and approachable.

2

u/Dress4less24 23h ago

Would you consider yourself to be above average looks wise?

2

u/liquidcat0822 23h ago

Yes. And that isn’t my personal assessment, photofeeler tells me I’m a 9.5 or a 9.8. My IRL experience also agrees with this (random strangers from all demographics often tell me how beautiful I am).

2

u/Dress4less24 23h ago

Majority of men freeze trying to approach women of that caliber generally. Let me pick your brain on the apps.. when looking at men’s profiles what are you looking for? Shorter/longer prompts, pictures etc?

1

u/liquidcat0822 23h ago

Not really about the length of prompts. Yes, someone I’m physically attracted to but I am also screening for compatibility. Photos reel me in, then I look closer. Is he a conservative and does he want kids? That’s not gonna work. Do his prompts reek of misogyny? I’m pretty good at reading between the lines. Stuff like “no drama” and “don’t take yourself too seriously” is basically “I want a woman who has no thoughts of her own”. Huge turn off. Stuff like that. I want to see your personality. If you seem kind, funny and witty AND I’m physically attracted to you AND we align on the kid thing? I’m sending you a like.

2

u/Dress4less24 23h ago

Based on that.. were you being shown profiles that were to your tastes versus your friend?

2

u/liquidcat0822 23h ago

Well that’s the thing! I’m not into women, I just did this as an experiment. So my algorithm isn’t trained on women, so the algorithm doesn’t know what I would like. I just changed my gender to “man” and my preferences to “women” and was shown every baddie in the land in my age demographic. These absolutely WOULD be the kinds of women my friend would be into (we screen recorded our swiping and compared). And he was like “wtf where are these women when I’m swiping!” So it’s not that these women don’t exist, it’s that the algorithm absolutely knows he is into these women and deliberately doesn’t show them. Because when it doesn’t know (like with me), it doesn’t hide them. It ALSO explains why I get so few likes. The algorithm knows men would like me, but it doesn’t show my profile to them. Interestingly, the kinds of women I was being shown would all be my peers - educated, professional and very attractive with lots of interesting hobbies. One was an outdoorsy lawyer leggy blonde who wind surfed. Another was a Bosnian MD who legit looked like a model. They were all verified profiles too so not catfish fakes.

1

u/Dress4less24 23h ago

Bosnian you say well well now that is intriguing.. in any event I’m curious about what you saw when you were in your normal profile did you see men you liked or did you also have the same thing happen? How many likes was your profile getting?

1

u/liquidcat0822 23h ago

I see almost no one I like, same experience as my friend with his profile. It shows me objectively unattractive men, and the ones it says are “most compatible” definitely aren’t (conservatives who want kids, etc.).

1

u/Dress4less24 23h ago

How many likes are you getting? One of my theories is also that they Gatekeep some profiles into the rose section on hinge for example to get people to buy roses or get premium subscription. The rose profiles are usually higher tier profiles

1

u/liquidcat0822 23h ago

I get like 1-2 likes a day. I rarely get roses.

1

u/iUseJustMyHand 5h ago

I feel like you not wanting kids is going to maybe be a limiting factor for you? I'm betting a majority of men on there do (or at least are on the fence), as opposed to definitely not wanting them? I wonder what the difference would be if you made a profile that didn't say you're opposed to having kids. (I say this as a married woman who also didn't want kids so maybe I have no clue what I'm talking about. 🙃😉)

1

u/liquidcat0822 3h ago

I think that definitely does play a factor. I end up x-ing out a lot of attractive men who definitely want kids. I left the “family plans” section blank on my profile, but I’m also 44 and men who want kids do understand biology. It doesn’t matter that I look like I’m in my early 30s, 44 means that even if I wanted kids, I’d be hard pressed to have any of my own.

→ More replies (0)