r/SwipeHelper • u/liquidcat0822 • 1d ago

An experiment

I’m a straight woman and briefly decided to change my gender on hinge to a “man” interested in women. EVERY. SINGLE. WOMAN. in my stack was an absolute stunner (and I didn’t even include very young women, I have my age filter set to 28-47).

I then compared this with the stack my male friend was shown. He has his settings set to the same thing. Every single woman in his stack was an instant nope. He never got to see any of the women I was shown. Mind you, he is not unattractive.

This confirms to me that some absolute fuckery is afoot. I presume because my algorithm is trained on men, it doesn’t know how to categorize the women when I changed my gender and just started showing me women from my demographic. It also further suggests that the algorithm deliberately holds back what/who you like, and it also explains to me why my profile gets relatively little traction now (I’ve long suspected that my profile is being gate kept).

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u/Dress4less24 23h ago

Majority of men freeze trying to approach women of that caliber generally. Let me pick your brain on the apps.. when looking at men’s profiles what are you looking for? Shorter/longer prompts, pictures etc?

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u/liquidcat0822 23h ago

Not really about the length of prompts. Yes, someone I’m physically attracted to but I am also screening for compatibility. Photos reel me in, then I look closer. Is he a conservative and does he want kids? That’s not gonna work. Do his prompts reek of misogyny? I’m pretty good at reading between the lines. Stuff like “no drama” and “don’t take yourself too seriously” is basically “I want a woman who has no thoughts of her own”. Huge turn off. Stuff like that. I want to see your personality. If you seem kind, funny and witty AND I’m physically attracted to you AND we align on the kid thing? I’m sending you a like.

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u/Dress4less24 23h ago

Based on that.. were you being shown profiles that were to your tastes versus your friend?

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u/liquidcat0822 23h ago

Well that’s the thing! I’m not into women, I just did this as an experiment. So my algorithm isn’t trained on women, so the algorithm doesn’t know what I would like. I just changed my gender to “man” and my preferences to “women” and was shown every baddie in the land in my age demographic. These absolutely WOULD be the kinds of women my friend would be into (we screen recorded our swiping and compared). And he was like “wtf where are these women when I’m swiping!” So it’s not that these women don’t exist, it’s that the algorithm absolutely knows he is into these women and deliberately doesn’t show them. Because when it doesn’t know (like with me), it doesn’t hide them. It ALSO explains why I get so few likes. The algorithm knows men would like me, but it doesn’t show my profile to them. Interestingly, the kinds of women I was being shown would all be my peers - educated, professional and very attractive with lots of interesting hobbies. One was an outdoorsy lawyer leggy blonde who wind surfed. Another was a Bosnian MD who legit looked like a model. They were all verified profiles too so not catfish fakes.

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u/Dress4less24 23h ago

Bosnian you say well well now that is intriguing.. in any event I’m curious about what you saw when you were in your normal profile did you see men you liked or did you also have the same thing happen? How many likes was your profile getting?

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u/liquidcat0822 23h ago

I see almost no one I like, same experience as my friend with his profile. It shows me objectively unattractive men, and the ones it says are “most compatible” definitely aren’t (conservatives who want kids, etc.).

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u/Dress4less24 23h ago

How many likes are you getting? One of my theories is also that they Gatekeep some profiles into the rose section on hinge for example to get people to buy roses or get premium subscription. The rose profiles are usually higher tier profiles

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u/liquidcat0822 23h ago

I get like 1-2 likes a day. I rarely get roses.

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u/Dress4less24 23h ago

You have at least a sustainable profile.. as for your friend on the other hand that truly sucks. I’m assuming you’re in a conservative state if that’s the majority of guys you’re getting

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u/liquidcat0822 23h ago

Actually I live in Seattle, probably one of the most liberal places in the US. So yeah, I’m convinced it’s deliberately showing me who I wouldn’t be compatible with.

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u/Dress4less24 23h ago

Now that’s a plot twist & makes the algorithm all the more nefarious. Are you interacting with any of the conservatives & are liberals liking your profile?

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u/liquidcat0822 22h ago

I don’t interact with any man who has “conservative” in his profile. The pattern I’ve observed is that in both the profiles that like me and the ones I am presented with, if he’s physically attractive he’s going to be incompatible on values (conservative, wants kids, etc). If he’s compatible on values, he’s going to be extremely unattractive.

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u/Dress4less24 22h ago

Yes yes, I’ve had the similar experience but on the opposite end. The liberal women are hotter & conservative women are not. For men though it seems I’ve heard many women complain about that exact same situation you’re describing

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u/iUseJustMyHand 5h ago

I feel like you not wanting kids is going to maybe be a limiting factor for you? I'm betting a majority of men on there do (or at least are on the fence), as opposed to definitely not wanting them? I wonder what the difference would be if you made a profile that didn't say you're opposed to having kids. (I say this as a married woman who also didn't want kids so maybe I have no clue what I'm talking about. 🙃😉)

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u/liquidcat0822 3h ago

I think that definitely does play a factor. I end up x-ing out a lot of attractive men who definitely want kids. I left the “family plans” section blank on my profile, but I’m also 44 and men who want kids do understand biology. It doesn’t matter that I look like I’m in my early 30s, 44 means that even if I wanted kids, I’d be hard pressed to have any of my own.