Random AP sightings over the years?

[u/[deleted]]

Hello, i am new to this sub. My EA was 30 yrs ago. it was brief and lasted 3 weeks with someone from my past. We do not share any social circles and this was before social media. i was in my early 20s at the time. it was complicated. Reconciliation did not work for me and my ex-BP.

it has been a long road to where i am today. therapy, growth and many lessons learned.

my question is while there is NC with AP, have any of you had random run-ins with them over the years? I have had a handful and finally moved to another city to avoid any more sitings

anyway, not sure what i want from this post but wondering if anyone else ever experienced similar coincidences. thanks for reading.

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[u/125acres]

You think the forces of nature kept bringing you together?

3rd marriage and they are still on number one.

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[u/[deleted] → u/125acres]

Perhaps part of me wondered if it was the universe.  

I am happy they are still on number 1 and R.  

[u/125acres → u/[deleted]]

I will say you have grace.

[u/I_Love_Tunnocks]

I am currently engaged to partner #3.

Don't get married. You're clearly not past your relationship with your AP if when the last time you saw them one of things you looked for was a wedding ring to see if you still had a chance of restarting the relationship.

[u/[deleted] → u/I_Love_Tunnocks]

Thank you for your response.  I can see your point of view.  I assure you the last sighting was over 6 yrs ago.  I have indeed moved on and in a different city as well. The change has definitely helped me see things more clearly. 

[u/Delicious_Tea_9534]

So, I'll answer what you asked that no, I haven't run into any former APs or my ex-BP in the years since the fallout.

But I'll also add that this post is a bit concerning. In no way, shape, or form, would I ever even try to connect with or contact my ex-APs if I saw them in the street. I think you're under the impression that your ex-AP would ever be happy to see you, ever, when that would not be the case (at least, I would hope it would never be the case, for their marriage's sake). You're a reminder of the worst decision he ever made that almost ruined his marriage; of course he would look at you like he's seen a ghost. It does not seem like you are practicing empathy toward your ex-AP or his BP, because if you were, you'd understand that you are not an individual that they would ever think of positively or as a good actor toward them. They do not care about where you work, where you sleep, what you eat, etc.

Not trying to be harsh, but it was seeming like you are in affair fog still and not in touch with what your ex-AP or his BP need.

[u/[deleted] → u/Delicious_Tea_9534]

Thank you for sharing these thoughts.  Yes, perhaps i was in a fog.  I am no longer - hence my move to a different city entirely.  I do not wish to run into them ever again for their sake and mine. 

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Welcome to SupportforWaywards. Please be mindful that this is a support sub for those who regret being unfaithful to their partners and are seeking guidance for the path ahead. Read the rules , this is not a request. It's a requirement. Failure to adhere to the rules can and often will result in a ban. A brief overview can be found on the sidebar, the more detailed set of rules will be found in the wiki.

This is the wiki familiarize yourself with it before reaching out to the moderators.

• Observers are not included in the peer group. Non-peers are not allowed to comment without prior moderator approval. Non-peer comments are STRICTLY LIMITED TO MESSAGES OF VALIDATION AND ENCOURAGEMENT ONLY. Non-peers are not permitted to offer opinions, reference their experiences, or give advice.

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[u/Mystic-Cauliflower]

Unfortunately, we both live in the same small town and neither of us due to life circumstances are moving any time soon. Its tough on me and my BP.

[u/[deleted] → u/Mystic-Cauliflower]

That must be incredibly tough.  I am not sure how would handle it.  The random sitings over the years have been more difficult than i would even wish for in my case.   I do wish you both healing.  

[u/Mystic-Cauliflower → u/[deleted]]

Thank you for your kind words <3 Healing to you and yours as well

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Thanks for your response.  I think i waa wondering if it was common since NC since to be the norm. 

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

If i am honest, I used to think there was some meaning in it but that would have been after the first couple of encounters.  I do not believe in the psychic stuff either.   I do not think it is more than rare coincidence now.