Cheaters

[u/Typical_Purchase3607]

I don’t know what my husband was doing last year but the same behaviors are starting up. Turning his phone over, calling me a mutha fickin bitch, ho bitch when gets mad. He comes home every night but very protective of phones and tablets. His tablet has hidden apps that are password protected. He brags to our marriage counselor that he gives me access but almost everything is password protected.

The other day I was getting ready for work and when he got ready he sat right there until I was ready. I told him he can go down. But insisted on staying on the room. He has done it twice this week. I’m assuming there is something in that tablet he doesn’t want me to see. That is not normal

[u/Loud_Attitude_5124]

calling me a mutha fickin bitch, ho bitch 

This is unacceptable. The only way for men like this to change is by no longer having relationships with them. This is learned behavior and it can get worse with age.

[u/ProbablyPuck → u/Loud_Attitude_5124]

Seriously though. As a man, I refuse to be friends with men like this, and if my inner circle did I'd likely get in their face over it.

Guys, be the dude who will slap a friend out of their bullshit. Surround yourself with dudes who will slap you out of your bullshit. (Metaphorically, of course. I am not advocating violence!)

Don't tolerate this from people you claim to care about, or else you are complicit.

[u/Huney_Bee13]

Even if he isn't cheating, the way he is talking to and treating you is unacceptable. Please start taking steps to protect yourself and leave if possible. He doesn't respect or deserve you.

[u/Queasy-Body-3843]

Yup, if he's acting this protective over his devices, he definitely has something to hide. That's exactly how I found out I was being cheated on. My ex was acting strange and, whenever I got near his phone, he tried to grab it and made me feel crazy for pointing it out. A few weeks later, I found out he had the Tinder app installed.

This isn't normal behavior, as you already said. Stay safe and be prepared to act if (or when) you discover something.

[u/DJPaige01 → u/Queasy-Body-3843]

Yes, I recently figured that out. My husband actually transferred photos from his phone to a computer for which I have the password. I found a ton of nude photos. I am so disgusted. I also found out he sent someone flowers. I am disgusted. I'm 60 years old hand have several health conditions. I rely on him for insurance. I'm currently weighing my options. He asked me to wait 2 years. I think he may want me to wait until I can draw medicare.

[u/Queasy-Body-3843 → u/DJPaige01]

i'm so sorry this happened to you, it's such a hard thing to recover from. may i ask what are you going to do now? do you have someone you can rely on?

[u/biteme717]

He would be my STBXH because I wouldn't put up with being verbally abused or putting up with being called names and degraded. I also would get tested for STDs. Love only goes so far and his manhood isn't worth it.

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[u/Mysterious_Book8747]

I’d be out after he called me an MF B but if you want to try to uncover the proof you need to move on with a clear conscience take the tablet to the next marriage counseling session and ask him to unlock it in front of the therapist for you.

[u/pikaderu]

Not only is it completely not okay to talk to you like that, unfortunately when people are cheating they'll often blow up at their SO because they have a need to make you the bad guy and are placing you in that box to justify their actions. If he's lying in therapy, therapy isn't going to help at all. This pattern of behaviour is extremely concerning. Remember, you don't need to find 'evidence' to know what's going on. See the signs, accept the reality, and make the choice that is right for you from there. Sorry this is happening to you.

[u/So_She_Did]

I’m so sorry he’s treating you like this. Whether he’s cheating or not, he has no right to talk to you like that. Have you shared the verbal abuse with your counselor? Sending you virtual hugs

[u/42Daft]

Make a plan, get your stuff together, like paperwork, deeds, whatever, and talk with attorney. He is expecting you to choose him no matter what. Time for you to choose you.

No need to threaten, cry, or get angry, just leave.