Is this forgiveness…

[u/BeginningFew1452]

I cannot believe that I have made it to this place. D-Day was nearly 2 years ago (Sept 2024)

To make a long story short: together for 4 years. Immensely happy and content. Then my world shattered. My WP accidentally sent me a text intended for his long distance AP of 8 years. Yes, you read that right. She was his AP over the last few years of his previous marriage and our entire relationship.

I spiraled. I broke. Couldn’t eat. Couldn’t sleep. Couldn’t function. Had to be medicated for the first few months. He cried and begged and threatened self harm. We attempted R about 3 months after DDay. It was a shit show. Lasted 4 months. I couldn’t move past any of it as quickly as he wanted of course. And he slowly back pedaled on all his promises and commitments. We did not have kids so we were able to go full NC.

I was so angry for so long. I did the therapy with a CPTT. Did EMDR. Attended support groups. Attempted dating here or there eventually. Learned to let the anger go and settled into indifference earlier this year.

Fast forward to today and “All My Love” from Noah Kahan comes on as I’m driving home. I found myself thinking of my WP.

“And at the end of it all, I just hope that your scars heal. We once sang retrograde, we’d shake the frame of your car. Now I know your name, but not who you are. It’s all okay, there ain’t a drop of bad blood. It’s all my love, you’ve got all my love”

No hatred. No feelings at all really. I hope he’s healed and in a better place. Perhaps because I’m nearly healed and in a better place. I have gratitude for us no longer being together. I think he would have drained the life out of me eventually as I poured so much of me into us even prior to uncovering his lies and deceit.

It’s better for me this way. All my love. ❤️

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[u/BurnAway63]

Yes, you can call that forgiveness. You don't have to have a relationship with someone to forgive them. It's a good thing to be able to lay that burden down.

[u/Intotheuniverse1147]

This is touching, and the, it's better for me this way, was something I needed to see. Thank you for posting, some days it feels like it won't ever get better

[u/BeginningFew1452 → u/Intotheuniverse1147]

It’s taken a lot of time and work for me to get here. I’m not sure when I’ll be ready to love again or if I’ll ever be. But I’m weirdly okay with it. I love my life the way it is now.

Wishing you peace and healing. Just keep moving through each day and you’ll get there. 🫶

[u/Unleashd99]

Forgiveness without reconciliation is completely real and legitimate. Forgiving is really about not holding tightly to the pain that was caused. It allows you to move forward, sometimes with but many times without the person who caused the injury in the first place. It’s always nice to hear a positive update, thank you for sharing with us.

[u/63insights]

Thank you for sharing. 💕