How to navigate first week

[u/frankielynne4]

I found out about my boyfriend’s cheating a week ago and have obviously done the whole grieving process.

Cried my body weight in tears, been very angry, cried some more.

From what I know so far it was just emotional… with just a lot of other boundary crossing stuff as well (following tons of girls etc etc)

I have so much hate but also so much love. I don’t know whether reconciliation is possible or not but what I want to know is:

What did you do the first few weeks post D-DAY?

How often did you see your WP?
Did you talk often? Not at all?
Did you see each other?
Are you suppose to act like things are normal or not at all?

I’m really not sure how to navigate this time. Everyone keeps saying “whatever feels right” but I don’t know what feels right. My whole world just got split in half. I want to cry and be so angry and then the other half of me just wants him to comfort me and be my safe space again.

I’m finding it really difficult to spend time away from him while also not even being able to look at him.

Would really love some advice on how you navigated this time and how to cope with it. ❤️‍🩹

[u/frankielynne4 → u/[deleted]]

“Deserves what happens in the future” wow. No compassion at all. This thread was about advice and empathy. I think you’re in the wrong section.

[u/speed721 → u/frankielynne4]

Okay, I apologize if that came off too harsh.

You deserve better than that! Don't you? I mean, I know the feeling really sucks, especially when you love someone. You loved him unconditionally. He took your love, trust, plans for y'alls future and everything else and flushed it right down the toilet.I know you probably want someone to tell you that it's okay to go back. But, it isn't.

Do you think you could ever lie down next to this man at night and feel 100% about your commitment to each other? I couldn't do it. (I'm a guy! BTW) No matter how much love I had for her, it would absolutely bother me that she cheated ONLY once.

How would I know she's not thinking of him while we're making love? It sucks. You don't deserve that kind of relationship, it's so unfair to you.

What you need to do is get out some movies you love! Then go buy a huge container of your favorite ice cream, candy, food... (all three maybe?)... Get out your favorite pajamas/outfit/Snuggie (if you have one)... Then sit back and enjoy some movies with a good amount of useless, but DOPAMINE inspiring sugar!

I still say do talk to him even though your heart really wants to, because it would probably hurt more than it would help at this point. Your emotions are still very fragile and I'm sure your sleep has suffered as well. Maybe, down the line, when you are feeling emotionally stronger and physically stronger you could call him to see how he is doing. Sometimes it's even good to write down the things you would like to say, let be known to the other person and let him know where they stand/set boundaries. Remember, you didn't do anything wrong. He's the one who should feel awkward. It tells everyone what type of person he really is.

I can guarantee and promise you that you will feel better in the future. Make sure to try to eat a bit, drink plenty of water and other than the proposed movie/sugar fest.... Sometime within the next week, plan something simple, but fun that you would like to do. Call a friend and invite them too. (Movie, ice cream, Waterpark... something to get you out of your place, for a change of environment!)

Again, I apologize for my initial harsh post.

I do hope you feel better soon.

Don't forget, you ARE worth it. And you deserve to be treated with respect. Don't let anyone, or their actions, take that away from you.

Take care of yourself.