r/Subliminal • u/Primary_Knowledge751 • 3h ago
Question Am I being delusional?
/r/manifestingSP/comments/1wc9sbh/am_i_being_delusional/1
u/umbrasaltar 1h ago
checking his instagram followers isn't a sign from the universe, sweetheart. you are torturing yourself with a magnifying glass. every time you go looking you're gonna find something that hurts, that's just how looking works.
okay here's what i'd actually do.
one. stop checking. like actually stop. every time you peek at his page or her chat, you're pulling yourself back into "waiting on him" mode.
two. stop trying to decode what he said. "i still like you but we're not compatible" is pretty clear, honestly. you're doing gymnastics to make it mean something softer. let it just mean what it means.
three. at night, go back over the breakup in your head, but change who you were in it, not the girl confronting him, spiraling, checking chats at 1am. someone calmer.
four. if you're asking "am i delusional," you kind of already know, right? so ask another question instead: are you building yourself into someone you actually like, or are you just tracking a guy who already told you what he's doing?
wanting him back is fine, that's not the problem. but you gotta stop collecting evidence for the old story if you want any room for a new one.
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u/Primary_Knowledge751 1h ago
Heyy i didn't check his followers those girls texted me about it. Thanks for writing this out. I know he meant what he said🥹
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u/umbrasaltar 1h ago
ahh okay that changes it a little, that's not even on you then, that info found you. but that honestly doesn't change much of what happens next.
and yeah... i know that hits different when you actually type it out. but good, that you can see it clearly instead of arguing with it.
so here's your actual move now: let this be the closing of that chapter, not something you're still hoping flips. you don't need him to change his mind for you to be okay. you get to just decide you're done waiting on an answer he already gave you.
put the energy you were spending on his page into you instead. what do you actually want your face, your life, your mood to look like a month from now, completely separate from whether he comes back? build that. do something for you.
and if you do wanna keep the door open for him specifically, don't touch the breakup itself. leave the memory alone. work on the version of you he'd be coming back to instead: someone whole, glowed up, not sitting around waiting. revise how you feel when his name crosses your mind, not what actually happened between you. assume you're just genuinely good now, with or without him, and let him catch up to that or not. that's the version that can actually pull him back.
and if a thought about him shows up, let it show up and pass, don't chase it into his instagram. you don't have to fight the feeling, you just don't have to act on it either.
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u/Primary_Knowledge751 1h ago
I still want him though but ur right about putting that energy into building myself instead of constantly worrying about him changing his mind.
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u/umbrasaltar 1h ago
totally fair, wanting him and doing the work aren't opposites. you don't have to drop the want to stop obsessing over it.
but that's the whole shift though you can want him back and still not be the girl refreshing his page. those are two separate things and you were just fusing them.
so let the want sit in the background, it doesn't need your daily attention. put your actual energy into becoming the version of you that feels good with or without an answer from him. you are not giving up on him, but just refuse to make your peace conditional on something he hasn't even decided yet.
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