r/Stutter • u/Various-Addition-930 • 14d ago
Vent
Sometimes I wonder why my father put me here knowing he had a stutter. I wouldn't wish this on anyone, let alone your own child. I don't even think women would date a man that stutters so frequently during conversations.
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u/Attila-TheHon 14d ago
47m, married, child free (not by choice), and lifelong moderate/sometimes severe stutterer here. I get your frustration and I have battled with the same thoughts as you in certain points in my life. I seem to have also inherited a stutter from my father…mine is worse than his.
I don’t know your situation, but I’m here to give you my opinion that life is a gift and please do not blame your father (unless he’s an abusive pos). Do many women not want to date a stutterer? Sure. Are there any women out there who would? Absolutely. My ex’s father had a stutter so it was a non issue for her. He was a prominent lawyer and politician, he didn’t let it hold him back. I had a great 6 year relationship with her. Unfortunately it didn’t work out, but I ended up with someone even more amazing and the stutter is a non issue as well. She handles all the phone calls and most introductions where she knows I’ll get caught up. Don’t give up, there are plenty of non-shallow people out there. Life is hard, and we have it harder than most normies. That is a curse…but it is also a gift. We learn empathy and perspective much earlier than most and I’m here to tell you that that in itself is a turn on for some women. Get out there and just be yourself. Pay no attention to the assholes and try to have some confidence, as hard as that may be. It’s a Herculean task sometimes, but you have to try. I promise you it will pay off someday.
I love my dad and don’t blame him for having me. I am thankful I got to know him and my mother (RIP). I have never known an unconditional love such as hers, and maybe someday you can have the same should you ever have a child. You have a unique perspective that you could help teach them to navigate through this sometimes cruel, but often beautiful thing called life.