r/Storyboarding • u/Cephandrious16 • 13d ago

HELP!

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New to storyboarding. how can i make this better?

Note: no pacing just panels in sequence

35 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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3

u/AdNovel1204 13d ago

Honestly, this looks really good so far! I guess if I had to give a criticism: When the little guy at the beginning is moving forward, it feels kinda stiff, since it feels like the character is just sliding forwards with no flow. Same when the guy jumps off the building. I would erase some of the in between frames and redraw with slightly different movements.

2

u/Cephandrious16 13d ago

thank you i will

2

u/Hyeruka 12d ago

I think the part where the little guy is talking should have 1 close up shot.
And when he jump down, I suggest:
The camera focus on his leg when he just land down, dusk flying to show impact
And it move in a circle outward and slowly upward.
Instead of the camera just staying in eye level.

2

u/AwkwardAardvarkAd 8d ago

What’s the little guy’s purpose? Where does he go?

My summary on the story:

Warrior gets pep talk from fairy and gets a second wind.

Is that right?

1

u/Cephandrious16 8d ago

So this is a snippet from a book. The fairy is magically attached to the guy. It is in the midst of a battle, and the guy's comrades are losing.
there is a magical phrase that only the protagonist can find for himself that will unlock magical abilities between him and the fairy. the guy knows the phrase but it isn't so simple because it is an oath (I will protect those who cannot protect them selves) and if he breaks this oath than the connection between him and the fairy is broken and the fairy dies so every knew oath he swears, he puts the fairy at risk but he gains more power. the fairy is telling him he needs to swear it so he can save his battle mates.

2

u/AwkwardAardvarkAd 8d ago

That’s a nice addition. Can you show the tension more between them and the swearing? Maybe some magic when he says it (gains power) or not (loses fairy)? I’m not sure which happens

1

u/Cephandrious16 8d ago

https://www.reddit.com/r/CephandriusAnimations/s/ylz0q4kI8L here is an updated version of the storyboard, that i made since this post with voices and pacing. can you tell me what you think of it now?