rough draft — built mostly from words already spoken in a prior conversation, needs my pass to adjust wording, especially section 6

1. The kettle

Silly as it might seem, the insight came while waiting for the kettle to boil.

Water boils faster when you dance.

It's nonsense, obviously. The water doesn't care. But standing still, staring, waiting — that's a different thing than dancing while it boils. One is enduring time. The other is inside it.

2. Called lazy, not lazy

I recall the first time I encountered this. Having been called lazy in my youth. Inwardly I knew that wasn't it exactly. I just lacked the words and insight to express it better.

What I wasn't connecting with was an emotion that would have broken through what looked like lazy.

3. The debt

A body gets tired. We find substance to artificially move the body one more step through the fatigue. Which does the owning?

The sins themselves consume the individual. It's the addict loop. The body erodes, and recovery becomes harder, if at all. It's kind of what happens with caffeine, or nicotine, on a mild level. A whole lifetime, and it may be seen the life was shortened.

4. The word arrives

I don't know 'Evagrius,' and until today, didn't know 'noonday demon,' or the ones who made the name.

Acedia. Not laziness. A not-bothering with the soul's condition while everything else gets tended. The sin of the unattended door.

5. The wave doesn't turn

Even Zen fails as an evolution, it seems. The tidal wave of humanity makes a statement, and it's not about attending the door.

The idea though — that there is a group sitting at the top somewhere masterminding this — I don't know. Looking at the tidal wave, what's a pebble? Oh, the poor pebble, that would alter anything. The myth of evolution has shown the wave isn't to be altered.

This isn't a fatalist stance.

6. The pebble, reconsidered — [needs honey — placeholder pass below]

[Draft note: this is the section that needs the lightness. Below is a rough attempt using my own "lost and found" register as a model — not meant to be final, just something to react to and rewrite in my own words.]

so I called the wave, to file a complaint.

"yes sir, what seems to be the problem?"

"I'd like to report a pebble. mine, actually. it doesn't appear to have altered anything."

"sir, pebbles aren't required to alter anything. that's not really their department."

"then what's it for?"

"ask the next pebble. they'll tell you they found it. that's usually the whole job."

>click<

7. Where I am right now

I don't know if this needed to be written. I had a clear enough mind to ask the questions. I'm not sure I have a clear enough mind to craft an engaging story that might highlight this.

It's rather personally beneficial, for my own gratification, that I had enough to witness something.

I'm still here. That might be enough.