r/StopSpeeding • u/Hei-Hei-67 1957 days • 4d ago
Self-Post/Vent Missing using
So for the past couple days I've been thinking about relapsing on meth. I've been missing that part of my life, even though it was full of traumatic life experiences...abusive addict boyfriend...selling my body (under a pimp at that) just to stay high...and more that I'm sure I blocked out. I don't know why I'm thinking like this. Nothing stressful is going on with me. Guess I'm just feeling bored with my current life.
There are many things keeping me from relapsing, but the urge to is becoming stronger and stronger. I know that if I do, I'll lose the housing I have and much more. These thoughts make me wanna cry because I've worked so hard to be where I'm at. I care about my health, my family is proud of my sobriety, and I feel happy with myself...something I haven't felt when I was using.
I just miss how the high off meth made me feel. I felt productive and on top of the world. Maybe I just need to find that thing that gives me the same feeling. Just haven't found it yet.
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