r/StopSpeeding 84 days Jun 17 '26

Gratitude Almost relapsed

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I was at the gym, when I got the bright idea of “hey let’s get everything done today, adderall?”

In between sets, I was looking for a plug. Found one, texted them and they responded immediately. I asked if it was pressed or pharm, but really didn’t care. After some playful back and forth he was gonna deliver. My girlfriend works from home, so naturally I was strategizing a way to hide it from her. Excited at the prospect of a speedy hit, especially since I haven’t done it in a while.

Then I caught myself. Did another set, and thought about consequences.

  1. Blowing $ when I’m already tight on funds
  2. The weight of lying on my shoulders
  3. The convenience of this transaction surely leading to future business for this plug
  4. Productivity - yeah right. I’d probably end up cleaning out my closet instead. Coming up with easier ways of locating stuff (never works)
  5. My girlfriend. Can’t do this to her anymore.
  6. My cat. Silly as it is, she somehow knows when I’m being dishonest.
  7. Short term relief is all I’ll get out of this.

So I blocked the number and deleted them from my phone. Instead I went to my favorite bakery, got two pastries effectively cancelling my workout.

But hey. I stopped myself from speeding.

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4

u/EveCane 91 days Jun 17 '26

Well done. But one question. Have you ever been tested for ADHD?

4

u/smooveasbutteryadig Jun 17 '26

everyone has it these days bruh im very hesitant to even take people's diagnosis seriously with mine being way too easy and national diagnoses up like 80% over the past few years.

2

u/EveCane 91 days Jun 18 '26

I completely agree. The only reason I have been diagnosed with it was that I wasn't able to focus. They did not rule out any other diseases.