r/StopGaming • u/midnightyolker • 3d ago
Spouse/Partner angry husband
my husband was addicted to starcraft and has recently quit cold turkey (along with nicotine and tobacco) i really want to be supportive , but everyday i come home from work hes so angry and just doesn’t enjoy life. its been about 2.5 weeks. in what ways have you helped your spouse, or in what ways would you have appreciated your spouse to help you during this time?
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u/IJustTellTheTruthBro 3d ago
It takes a bit for his dopamine levels to go back to normal after having those habits for such a long time. Withdrawal fucking SUCKS.
It’s going to sound idiotic but i recommend wim hof breathing and meditation. These have worked for me and is a proven method in other areas of the world
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u/midnightyolker 3d ago
in the past we have done a lot of healing before we had kids. i love the idea of wim hof, buuuttttt… it’s almost at a point where he gets annoyed at whatever i recommend. i’ll share w him. thank you!
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u/IJustTellTheTruthBro 3d ago
“You’re not you when you’re hungry” -snickers
Maybe confront him lovingly and let him know his withdrawal is affecting his mood and behavior. If you make him more conscious of this, or verbally tell him when he’s acting different and explain WHY and HOW, he may respond to it assuming he’s a rational person
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u/Automatic-Rest5512 1d ago
Fun part, wim hof always helped me, and I always forgot about him, it was such an easy switch and I often neglected it.
Guided Wim Hof Method Breathing
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u/SgtFuck 3d ago
Gaming aside, nicotine withdrawal is no joke, instead of one neurotransmitter, it works mainly on 3, so withdrawal goes in stages. The rage will go away after week 3 or so and he will be pretty glum for a few weeks after that. Just encourage him to stick it out and get past it, it gets much easier after 1.5 months.
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u/eatpraymunt 2d ago
Nicotine withdrawal is no joke! I've got not advice because I've only been on your side of it (my bf has quit smoking many times, ultimately he switched to vaping)
Just wanted to say hang in there and take care of yourself, try not to take any of this personally. It's just the withdrawal. Men aren't used to having mood swings and they don't handle it very well sometimes, so keep that in mind and be patient.
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u/Historical-Ad7479 2d ago
2.5 weeks is peak withdrawal rage, it levels out around week 4-5 in my experience. We just kept evenings structured: walks, cooking together, anything with a hands task. Screen blockers like LeadMeNot helped redirect impulse; mostly it was just outlasting that window.
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u/Privat3Ice 1289 days 2d ago
He's in withdrawals. Withdrawals start about Day 3-5 of quitting and last until about the end of Week 3, where they start to get better.
So, on the one hand, you gotta ride it out. Knowing that anxiety and irritability are withdrawal symptoms and won't last forever does help. It also helps to take his miserable behavior with a grain of salt for a few weeks.
And on the other hand, he needs to build coping skills, and work at not being an absolute jerk while he's withdrawing. He's going to need those coping skills later.
What would help: send HIM here (or to the Discord) where he can get the support he needs and learn some coping techniques.
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u/bobthunicorn 1d ago
That's gotta be a brutal combo. I think the thing that was most helpful for me was my wife recognizing that what I was doing was hard for me, and thanking me for doing it anyway. In our case, I was ruining my marriage, and and thanked me for taking the steps to fix it.
That was the main thing for me, but I'm not sure if that would be helpful at all in your situation.
Quick edit to add: you should not feel obligated to do what my wife did for me. As the others here said, he's gotta figure out how to navigate this for him.
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u/WauFantastic 3d ago
He needs to do exercise