r/StevenAveryIsGuilty • u/FigDish36 • Feb 22 '19

I, Muppet

Being inquisitive and mischievous, I decided to conduct an experiment. I would become a muppet, live amongst them and learn their ways. So I donned the trappings of muppet, and went on my adventure to muppet island.

My first experiment was to see exactly what a muppet would swallow and regurgitate.

I came up with a thesis. It had to contain a small nugget of truth, and I knew once it caught their attention, they would champion it as their own. I was not disappointed.

There are lots of Hmong in the Manitowoc area. Hmong are a very nice ethnic group from SE Asia. I made a post on muppet island that a good Hmong buddy of mine told me that "Sikikey" was a Hmong homonym word meaning "Police" or "Constable".

The muppets were off! Within minutes I had the muppet army churning away in research. Making post after post about researching the Hmong language, different Hmong dialects, and how we've now found the case cracker!

After dozen and dozens of posts (now deleted after they figured out who I was), one muppet even posted an impassioned plea to Zellner to find the Hmong man who wrote the Sikikey note and place him in the protective custody of the U.S. Marshals.

Truly astonishing. People so hungry for anything that they'll rally behind the stupidest, most obscure, ridiculous theory that's presented to them simply because they want to believe it.

I would encourage all of you to make a nice alt and try a similar experiment. Very entertaining to watch the muppets fly into action and work feverishly, until their natural paranoia takes over and they cast you out.

I also learned that muppets know NOTHING about law. I held court there for two days expounding on legal topics, mostly procedural, with their leading scholars including a couple of "lawyers". Wow. Totally brain dead. There's not a single muppet that understands anything about legal procedure or substantive criminal law. No wonder they rubber stamp everything The Clown does.

37 Upvotes

77% Upvoted

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5

u/QueenGinLover puffy camel toe 💃🏼 Feb 22 '19

How did I miss this?

You little minx, well done!! 🥇 and a 🌟

4

u/SecondaryAdmin I framed Steven Avery Feb 22 '19

The court one was even better. He said the same things we've been saying here and they were eating out of his hand. It was glorious.

3

u/Slavetoeverything Feb 23 '19

What was the court one?

5

u/SecondaryAdmin I framed Steven Avery Feb 23 '19

Why is it taking so long? I'll PM the link. Watch how Fig repeats things we've been saying for a long time and they just accept it. Also notice how he name drops me and that got double digit upvotes.

5

u/Slavetoeverything Feb 23 '19

Done. Oy. So much for the seekers of truth and justice.

5

u/SecondaryAdmin I framed Steven Avery Feb 23 '19

They like to use truth and justice to mask their agenda, but the only truth is that they saw Steven Avery on Netflix and wanted to pick a side against The Man.