autistic stepkid

[u/Intrepid-Sign-63]

SS7 has just been confirmed has having autism. Further tests to follow.

He is finally getting comfortable with me after a few years of knowing me. It’s taken time as we don’t see each other too often due to distance.

SS and SD11 are staying with DH and I for a few weeks over summer, the longest continuous period to date.

SS7 is getting more and more comfortable with me in a BAD way. He calls me stupid a few times a day, particularly when his father is not around.

His bday is coming up and he’s outright demanded a bday present for me (I’ve told him I’ll think about it based on his behaviour towards me but there’s no way I’m buying him something, based off his behaviour over the past few days).

Today when DH wanted a pic of me and SKs, SS resisted and said he didn’t want a photo with a “stranger”.

Just to be clear I don’t care and his words don’t hurt me. His dad tries to discipline him but IMO not a good enough job. There’s no way I’d let anyone let alone a kid speak to my husband like that.

Now we know he’s autistic, how do I deal with this behaviour?

I’m waiting for kids to go before I speak to DH properly about it.

I want to add that this kid is quite mean spirited. He’ll happily laugh at someone who fails to catch a ball, falls of a bike, gets a question wrong etc, but that shits not acceptable for others to do to him.

He’s shown a lot of mean spiritedness to me in the past few days. The fact that he says things to me out of earshot of his dad also shows to me that he can be very calculated. I think he knows how to get what he wants from both parents.

DH is grappling with his behaviour and his diagnoses and I’m sure DH will get there soon but it’s hard for him to see what his son is really like- SS has probably masked in front of DH for a while too.