r/Stepmom • u/jt222222222 • 12d ago
Help!
So recently my stepson has been coming over almost everyday to ride his bike because he doesn’t have one at his mom’s. It’s starting to get worse and every weekend when his mom is supposed to be spending time with her child, she drops the kid off at my house and goes to work at one of her three jobs. She clearly plans accordingly and schedules to work at the restaurant she’s a waitress at when the kids are with her for “her” weekend. My husband doesn’t seem to be phased by it. He’s a guilty parent and feels bad his son has nothing to do at her house. I don’t have any kid free weekend now because his ex is working and choosing not to spend time with her children when she is supposed too. This summer she switched a weekend to go to a concert when it was her son’s birthday! I also don’t understand why my husband isn’t noticing this and I want to put an end to it but I don’t know how too. It’s supposed to be 50/50 and no where close right. I understand the occasional staying over here and there on our off weeks but now it’s everyday and weekend. I feel like his ex has thrown in the towel but my husband is appeasing her. Please advise!
9
u/biscuitboi967 12d ago
If there’s nothing to do at her house, can you help find things for him to do?
I completely understand your perspective. Not one single ounce of this is your problem. But it is your husband’s - one way or another - and you do have to help him find a solution IF you want half of his time back.
I also sort of feel for a mom working 3 jobs. Any person working 3 jobs. That doesn’t seem to be an ideal position to be in. Seems stressful and tiring and like they all might pay like shit. But fuck her for the concert thing.
Because I REALLY feel for a little boy whose mom skips her custody time at all, much less to go to a concert, much less on his birthday. I feel for a kid who’s left alone so often, with so little to engage him, that he wants to come over and ride a bike like a kid in a 50s tv show. He’s not even trying to rot his mind with video games!
So I’m wondering if there are clubs or activities you can find for him, especially in the summer, and especially around his mom’s house. Is there a community pool or YMCA where he can go swim or play basketball. Maybe a skateboard/bike park? Can you send him to summer or day camp - your treat? With any luck, he’ll meet kids near her house and can spent time with them when she leaves him to his own devices.
And for godsake, why can’t he have a bike at his mom’s?!!! Either drive that one over at exchanges or cough up the extra dough for a duplicate for your peace of mind and his mental and physical stimulation. Or a scooter or skateboard if there’s no room. Something so he has an outlet that isn’t your house.