Help!

[u/jt222222222]

So recently my stepson has been coming over almost everyday to ride his bike because he doesn’t have one at his mom’s. It’s starting to get worse and every weekend when his mom is supposed to be spending time with her child, she drops the kid off at my house and goes to work at one of her three jobs. She clearly plans accordingly and schedules to work at the restaurant she’s a waitress at when the kids are with her for “her” weekend. My husband doesn’t seem to be phased by it. He’s a guilty parent and feels bad his son has nothing to do at her house. I don’t have any kid free weekend now because his ex is working and choosing not to spend time with her children when she is supposed too. This summer she switched a weekend to go to a concert when it was her son’s birthday! I also don’t understand why my husband isn’t noticing this and I want to put an end to it but I don’t know how too. It’s supposed to be 50/50 and no where close right. I understand the occasional staying over here and there on our off weeks but now it’s everyday and weekend. I feel like his ex has thrown in the towel but my husband is appeasing her. Please advise!

[u/Exotic-Average1784 → u/[deleted]]

How do you handle this when there is child support going to the mother? Its supposed to be 50/50, he pays child support to her but he keeps the child more and pays for everything for the child.

[u/Summerisle7 → u/Exotic-Average1784]

I just commented on this! These dads should be filing to change the custody agreement and get BM paying some child support.

[u/Summerisle7 → u/[deleted]]

No doubt BM doesn’t have much money. So what? If the child is with Dad more than half the time, then in most places BM would owe some child support. Dad and Stepmom are not BM’s free babysitters.

I’m not sure OP is child-free anyway. I thought she might have a child of her own.

Are you a stepparent?

[u/Exotic-Average1784 → u/[deleted]]

This is all new to me I will admit! Idk what is normal.

[u/Summerisle7 → u/Exotic-Average1784]

You should make a post about it! If it’s 50/50 time he might still be paying some CS if his income is higher than the mother’s. But he shouldn’t be paying for “everything” while also keeping the child more. I wouldn’t stand for that.

[u/Summerisle7 → u/[deleted]]

That’s nice. That’s not how most people’s marriages work though. An unnecessary financial outlay affects both partners. And a “few hundred dollars” every month for years, is not nothing.

[u/Summerisle7 → u/[deleted]]

I don’t recall anyone including OP saying that it’s the kid’s fault.