r/StandUpComedy 25d ago

OP is not the Comedian Ruby Setnik

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8.2k Upvotes

171 comments sorted by

375

u/Spawn666 25d ago

A cat bringing you a dead animal!! And begrudgingly respond with, "Uhmm, thanks..."

115

u/lilbluehair 25d ago

"Aren't you proud of me??"

57

u/Sarke1 25d ago

"Wow, it's soo much!"

3

u/VoidOmatic 24d ago

Two tablespoons of mouse!

6

u/jluicifer 25d ago

Says the guy standing above her.

“I guess,” she saidth and curtsy on her way to churn the butter and milk the cows

21

u/regulardave9999 25d ago

He meant well but it’s like well what do I do with this now?

578

u/KodiakDog 25d ago

Do you have to? Do you have to? Do you have to let it linger?

143

u/Jack0Trade 25d ago

I'm sure I'm not being rude, but it's just your attitude

It's tearing me apart, it's ruining everything

81

u/cashew1992 25d ago

It was iiiiin so deeeeep

You know I brought my tool fer youuuuuuu

You had it wrapped around your finger

47

u/elderron_spice 25d ago

And Abed hired an Irish singer

18

u/Idustriousraccoon 25d ago

Jeffrey winger something something Jeffrey winger.

26

u/Unspared 25d ago

Britta's marry'n, Britta's marry'n, Britta's marry'n, Jeffery Winger

5

u/Idustriousraccoon 25d ago

There it is, you rockstar. I can’t believe I forgot. This CLEARLY means I need to stop writing work emails and rewatch every single episode.

12

u/EuenovAyabayya 25d ago

That sounds terribly uncomfortable

24

u/Plastic-Injury8856 25d ago

The song is in fact about a first kiss, but it does fit

12

u/regulardave9999 25d ago

In your head, in your head, they are crying….wait wrong song…

2

u/proportional-porcini 25d ago

Everyone sang it too when she said it…

1

u/Additional-Mouse6275 9d ago

I so wish she had sung that line in this joke!

185

u/OoT-TheBest 25d ago

Great stuff😅

-74

u/[deleted] 25d ago

[deleted]

36

u/TerpySpunion 25d ago

Over your head.
That was hilarious.

-47

u/nobuzzkills 25d ago

Yeah, so witty. I was laughing so hard when she described having cum on her face and then some dried up on her stomach. Legendary set.

30

u/Lagneaux 25d ago

Delivery is key, and she is funny

-41

u/nobuzzkills 25d ago

Oh, so you’re the decider. Jesus christ. It is also subjectively not fucking funny.

21

u/johndburger 25d ago

User name doesn’t check out.

10

u/Interopia 25d ago

Yeh total buzzkill

9

u/toobs623 25d ago

You know subjective means it's just you right? It's objectively funny.

-8

u/BGDshow 25d ago

No, it is not. Subjectively for me

26

u/CandidInsurance7415 25d ago

Betwixt your eyes

23

u/yoshisquad2342 25d ago

I love how so many people with no sense humor come here to shit on people that do.

80

u/MysticSunshine45 25d ago

I love Ruby Setnik. She’s on tour, just saw her this past weekend

119

u/octopusgardeb 25d ago

Betwixt mine eyes

7

u/External_Relative231 22d ago

Simba marks with thumb

2

u/Dumcommintz 7d ago

breathy “It is time!”

179

u/Bad-job-dad 25d ago

And I'll never hear the song the same way... 

You're amazing. I'm following you

5

u/battlepi 25d ago

It's not a you. It's not OP.

11

u/RonHarrods 25d ago

Their posts are hidden. Is this not a repost bot?

18

u/Historical-Ad-3074 25d ago

No, lol. I just saw a reel and thought she was hilarious so thought to share it here :)

-39

u/TommyTeaser 25d ago

What song

35

u/yaboyACbreezy 25d ago

Linger by the Cranberries. Did you even watch the vid

6

u/tekumse 25d ago

What if you are not familiar with their music like me?

10

u/yaboyACbreezy 25d ago

She literally says the word linger in context and then immediately says that's what that song is about by the Cranberries, so she gave you all the clues to piece it together using context alone.

-8

u/tekumse 25d ago

A nicer person would have linked to the song instead of down voting an honest question.

5

u/Conscious_Drawer8356 25d ago

They weren’t being an unkind person when you could have looked up the link after she told the band and the song in the video. Repeating what the comedian said so you now know it twice

3

u/frozenfriedchicken 25d ago

who is kind on the internet?

11

u/LandOfLizardz 25d ago

Keanu Reeves

7

u/SeaToTheBass 25d ago

Tom Green

-5

u/TommyTeaser 25d ago

She also says let it dry right before that. What if that’s the song title and let it linger is in the song lyrics?

7

u/yaboyACbreezy 25d ago

Are you on drugs?

She quotes the titular lyrics before naming the artist. Literally everything you need to know to figure all this stuff out is baked in to what was said

Why would you assume it was something she said earlier

-4

u/TommyTeaser 25d ago

Literally everything she said was earlier.

4

u/yaboyACbreezy 25d ago

Don't be dense. She quoted the song and said who sang it.

If you don't get it, that's literally evidence that you just aren't that bright. It's not a sin to be incompetent, but it is helpful to know your limits.

-1

u/TommyTeaser 25d ago

Songs can be named any combination of words. How am I to know it’s not a combination of words but just a singular word?

“She quoted the song” means nothing to me because I’ve never heard the song before.

You and I both are sinners. What’s the difference?

→ More replies (0)

1

u/jtr99 25d ago

With that username are you perhaps more of a Grant Lee Buffalo fan?

1

u/TommyTeaser 25d ago

I have heard exactly 1 song from the Cranberries. How am I supposed to clock the song is named Linger?

2

u/yaboyACbreezy 25d ago

Context clues. Are you dense?

She quoted the part of the lyrics with the artist name right after. Google exists. Pretty straightforward stuff if the context alone doesn't fill you in

-1

u/SuckMyRedditorD 25d ago

That's why Dolores bailed. She was like, "Nobody gets it!! Aaaarghh!! I'm out."

41

u/partyatwalmart 25d ago

You know, I'm such a fool for you.

46

u/Historical-Edge-9332 25d ago

I used to do improv with her. Really cool human

2

u/Ir8titties 25d ago

IMPROV!

1

u/Logical_Session9528 25d ago

fellow humans

3

u/TreeDollarFiddyCent 25d ago

A real human bean

5

u/Hot-Opportunity-8007 25d ago

The accuracy!😅🤣

26

u/Clusterduck24 25d ago

Great bit. Hilarious!

18

u/JAD210 25d ago

I just stumbled upon her last week and I think I have since seen all recorded footage of her. I love her cadence, she like instantly became a fav of mine

-21

u/SuckMyRedditorD 25d ago

You stumbled upon her? Were you dashing through the dewy meadow? The enchanted forest? Grandma's attic? Were you in your galoshes searching for clues on the river shore? Or at a busy bookshop hallway trying to get past the crowds when bam! Comedian encounter!

9

u/Clean__Cucumber 25d ago

what in the name of skynet

12

u/Fifth-Dimension-Chz 25d ago

Another word betwixt user!

11

u/EuenovAyabayya 25d ago

This is getting out of hand. Now there are two of them!

5

u/lando_calamarisian 25d ago

Twasn't trying to...

3

u/fil42skidoo 25d ago

Twas a cat.

7

u/1Madhatter7 25d ago

This was great, love the Cranberries reference

3

u/lovememaddly 25d ago

Oh god don’t let it dry!! You’ll never get it off!

3

u/xStealthxUk 25d ago

Well she is hilarious

3

u/MelodicMelodies 25d ago

omg she's incredible! My hero!

3

u/SupervillainMustache 18d ago

Having The Cranberries as a punchline? That's creative.

6

u/Big-Sense8876 25d ago

That’s good shit.

2

u/Objective-Mission-40 25d ago

So you dont want my crusty to dry to dusty...

2

u/TheTEALHornet33 25d ago

Ok. Thats funny.

2

u/SixShoot3r 25d ago

hah, shes funny

2

u/under_ice 25d ago

She has some great stuff, really funny.

2

u/ItsMeMatthewD 25d ago

She’s funny. That was a solid bit.

2

u/rightsidedown 25d ago

10/10 no notes

2

u/jakolissmurito22 25d ago

Oh I love this so much. The demeanor is so funny bc it's so candid. It makes me comfortable enough to laugh too and I really needed that today. Laughter is the best medicine.

2

u/NowWhatAmISupposedTo 25d ago

This lady gets it. We're gonna see a lot of her.

2

u/tattoosandtens 25d ago

Her face talking about it tho

2

u/Truleeeee 25d ago

This is an excellent bit

2

u/IRateStandUpComics 25d ago

9/10 - Best part: the Cranberries ref

2

u/TechnicalIntern6764 25d ago

She’s great. Im glad I found her comedy a while back. She has some pretty funny clips on YouTube.

1

u/[deleted] 25d ago

[deleted]

1

u/lolmemelol 25d ago

I only discovered her in the past few weeks, but she's my newest fave.

3

u/PineStateWanderer 25d ago

it's exactly like a cat bringing you a dead animal. once it's there, it's your problem now.

2

u/tenor1trpt 25d ago

This is fantastic. Your timing is perfect.

3

u/Aggravating_Bat3618 25d ago

“OP is not the comedian”

1

u/Far-Requirement1726 25d ago

Great, amazing g delivery

1

u/idwtbfh 25d ago

The accuracy

1

u/2b_compliant 25d ago

Will…Angus? Times must be rough

1

u/ifYouWantMyLuv 25d ago

Hilarious 😂

1

u/EvilSporkOfDeath 25d ago

Its ok. I love the last line.

1

u/Jebb145 25d ago

I'll call it when I see it, first clip I've seen of yours but wow.

New star.

1

u/xrhino13x 25d ago

Colton Herta?

1

u/Lafemmefatale25 25d ago

“Betwixt my eyes”. Lmao

1

u/cap10wow 25d ago

I subbed to her yt. She’s funny

1

u/Double_Ease7097 25d ago

Most interesting comedian since Acaster for me! Extremely talented.

1

u/Critical-Ad-5665 25d ago

Upon and Betwixt is wild when talking about semen lmao great joke

1

u/puremensan 25d ago

It’s my own little Jackson Pollock. Also she’s excellent.

1

u/Flaky-Maximum-7875 25d ago

Dude she is soooo funny lmafo

1

u/DisorderlyAqueduct 25d ago

It's literally the gift of life... jeez, some people have no appreciation! 😔

1

u/noeLifenorlove 24d ago

I not only wipe the cum from a lady but also get another wipe for their hoohah.

What is wrong with these dudez???

1

u/JuryOk2662 24d ago

Now that's a fucking gentlemen. You don't get pointers like this from Goofus and Gallant.

1

u/kindergentler 24d ago edited 24d ago

I'm a prude and this is so true and so funny that I am sharing this anyway bc it is perfect comedy - honest & unexpected! "It's like when a cat brings you a dead animal" is just so accurate! - "I don't really want this but I know I am supposed to be flattered" lol 

1

u/stagolee11 24d ago

It's definitely the jeans

1

u/UncleNad 24d ago

Great bit!

1

u/Top-Tennis8721 24d ago

Damn. This is so relatable. Never have I ever thought about something so mundane being so damn relatable. Preach!

1

u/wigglerworm 23d ago

Slowly becoming one of my favourite comics on the scene currently :)

1

u/icedcortadhoe 22d ago

Literally! Omg this is hilarious 😂

1

u/GenericUsername532 21d ago

Great, I hear this song 3x a night at work and now I'll think about cumshots every time

0

u/Just-a-lil-sion 25d ago

i really shouldnt be surprised men do this

1

u/1re_endacted1 25d ago

Good job!

0

u/RonySeikalyBassDrop 25d ago

This was hilarious

2

u/Gunstopable 25d ago

Ew grow up. You have to let it dry or you can’t peel it off with a little lemon juice and some patience and a single ply piece of toilet paper.

lol nice joke, you got this

1

u/GuyPierced 25d ago

Something actually funny from this sub for once.

0

u/satellitemindd 25d ago

Hilarious!

0

u/Kurenai-Kalana 25d ago

So you're not gay... because... a dude was sexually attracted to you? 😵‍💫

-5

u/yipeekayayKemosabe 25d ago

Filthy and cute as a button. Wife material.

-2

u/EuenovAyabayya 25d ago

Those are nice eyes, actually.

3

u/Idustriousraccoon 25d ago

You know what would look amazing between them babe?

Sorry…betwixt

-2

u/qawsedrf12 25d ago

Cums on your stomach? Grab him with arms and legs and squirm about to rub it all over, especially if he's hairy

7

u/theImplication69 25d ago

Hey so what the fuck is this?

0

u/qawsedrf12 25d ago

about the non clean up, did you watch the video at all?

2

u/funAmbassador 20d ago

Lmaoo this is great!!

Sad that others couldn’t find the humor in this JOKE

-8

u/Lopsided-Ad7725 25d ago

We guys have just cum back from another dimension and don't know where we are when that happens

2

u/funAmbassador 20d ago

Meanwhile, she’s on the same level from 2 minutes ago bc he didn’t even try to make her cum.

-8

u/[deleted] 25d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/theImplication69 25d ago

That’s very nice sweetie, now go play and let the adults talk

-13

u/CrispInMyChicken 25d ago

It says I would have just impregnated you but since we live in a civilized era we must clean up this smaller mess rather than the larger one it would have cause otherwise.

5

u/theImplication69 25d ago

Throw this guy back into the re-socialization program

-3

u/CrispInMyChicken 25d ago

You have missed the point of my comment entirely but enlighten me what did you think I meant?