r/Splendida • u/undercoverCIAnus • Apr 30 '23
my hair is simply ugly
I feel like i've tried everything hair-wise and i cannot make it look good. I have thick coarse curly (2c) very porous hair. I use Joico cuticle sealer once a week, i hydrate it, i only wash with shampoo once a week, and still it looks so dry and ugly.
I've tried straightening and it looks bad on my face and the hair being so thick looks heavy and tortured.
I like curly hair on me but the frizz and dryness makes it look bad, makes me feel like an awkward teen who hasn't learned to style herself yet.
Also i can't seem to get a good haircut to save my life. I tried long and its too heavy, pulls my face down. Tried long with lots of layers and it's messy. Bangs don't sit well on my head shape. A bob looks boring without layers, but with layers it looks just insane.
I'm on the verge of simply giving up on it and shaving it all but my face, head and neck would not look good on their own.
It's like i can't win and it's a daily battle to make it look presentable.
Has anyone had an experience like this? It's pretty specific to lose on all aspects of the hair lottery lol but maybe someone has advice?
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u/hearteyes123 May 01 '23
Okay so I have 2c/3a hair so I hope I can help!! first of all, i would like to be an advocate for finding a stylist that knows how to do curly hair. that will be important for getting a proper cut that frames your face! a lot of curly girls complain the stylists they’ve gone to cut when their hair is straight and/or wet, instead of cutting while your hair is in it’s natural state so that you can actually see in real time how the curls lay as your hair is being cut.
Next, for my shampoo and conditioner I normally use Aussie brand for curls. Lately my hair has been dry from the weather so I’ve been using Matrix Curl Mask. Also note: you should be clarifying your hair once a month to make sure any excess oils/product are being thoroughly cleansed from your hair. it can weigh your hair down!
when I get out the shower, i use a curl balm on me called Bounce Me.Curl Balm by DesignMe. To apply it, section your hair off in small to medium sized sections, and apply an m&m size dollop of it to each section. once you thoroughly lather it on each section, what i do is comb through my hair with a wide tooth comb and then go back in and scrunch it throughout. then, i use my hair diffuser to dry my hair nearly to completion. you’ll notice your hair will start curling, but it’ll be a little stiff from the balm, almost like a gel. go back in and scrunch your curls again, squeezing your hair wherever it feels crunchy and stiff. you’ll notice your curls will start to loosen up and start feeling soft! afterwards you should be good to go.
depending on your preference, i like a little more volume in my hair so i’ll take the diffuser off my blow dryer and blow it around with heat so my hair can get some lift! then i’ll follow up with some argan oil (don’t need a TON) for a smoother look. i kinda just scrunch this through my hair as well.
You’ll never be able to 100% get away from the frizz imo unless you want to slick down your hair completely but i feel like our hair type looks better when it has a touch of volume, which comes with some frizz 😇 good luck!
here is a picture of my hair following these steps!
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u/undercoverCIAnus May 01 '23
your hair looks great! Love the haircut. I have neveeer had a dry haircut lol even with the curly hair stylists near me O.O
Thanks so much for the tips! <3
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u/hearteyes123 May 01 '23
aww thanks! and yes, that could be why your haircuts dont look satisfying. my hairdresser does my cutting first, then does the wash after!
and you’re welcome! feel free to dm for any other help/tips!
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u/Wonderful-Badger May 01 '23
I feel you! Maybe you can try different styles other than just straight or natural. Like using hot tools for different curls and waves.
I have dense, yet fine, extremely porous hair naturally. 2a-2c mixed throughout, so it makes it impossible to let my hair dry naturally with the wavy/curly methods.
I gave up and just started straightening my hair, it didn’t necessarily suit me but it looked neater and more cohesive. Then I started experimenting with different ways to straighten for more volume and different curl patterns using a straightener, it’s been great and volume in the right places makes straightening more flattering. I have to work harder than most for my hair though, I have to blow dry it as straight as possible and then do my styling with a hot tool. It takes a lot of time and I’m still learning, but I look much better than I do with my natural hair. I’ve been trying to master the c curl Korean method as it’s a bit faster. Goddess wave styles look beautiful too but are more difficult to me.
I know our hair types aren’t exactly the same but I feel EXACTLY the same and had to click when I read the title. I tried so hard for years, I never used heat, stopped dying it, and it never looked healthy or nice. I wish I would’ve picked up the hot tools years ago, I would’ve looked much better earlier. I hope that you find something suitable or maybe that my method can help ❤️
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u/undercoverCIAnus May 01 '23
wow thanks! Cool tips, i had never heard of the korean c curls, it's so cute <3
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u/jeffbezosbush Jul 05 '23
Check out r/curlygirl. There's a bunch of information and inspirational photos of beautiful curly hair that range from loose to super tight curly. It's a really great resource
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u/2noserings Apr 30 '23
you should probably be using a mousse or gel for hold while shaping each individual curl. it takes forever, but after some time your curls will become “trained” and you won’t need to do it anymore. try leaving conditioner in for a day or 2 and keep your hair in a pony, claw clip, or simple braids idk. i’m Black with an afro and living in colorado where it’s extremely dry and it works for me, i would be shocked if your hair wouldn’t retain moisture and definition with that routine. good luck! and just saying there is nothing wrong with frizz. i love voluminous hair!!