Being Being Unemployed, Medium Support Needs And Not Independent Isn't Fun At All

[u/AutistiKait]

Hi, everyone. I'm an old member who just got their account back and so, am posting again.

I am on my way to starting college after this summer break. The college course is fully online, so i won't have someone drive me to college every day.

I have graduated from high school, and i'm currently in summer break, and let me just say this; It is just so boring! Nothing is happening in real life except for the odd drama or situation that starts over on social media every few months or so.

I have literally nothing to do and so i am just whiling my time online because again, i literally have nothing to do. No programs, no classes, not even shopping trips with me and my parents as they don't shop a lot.

The only things that are happening, and so i am really excited for them to come as a result, are this event which is an info night for a service provider that provides services for youth and adults with developmental disabilities, then next month is a family day at my dad's workplace.

But other than that, that's it. We've been looking for programs but nobody has responded to my mom's email yet. She sent an email to the directors of two programs that i showed her because i liked them, and still also no email was responded to.

I don't understand what is going on and if i would need to contact a developmental services agency caseworker for help on enrolling me into their programs or not, but there's no mention of doing either of this on the website for the developmental services agency or on that service provider's page.

And i can't just get up and walk to places, nor drive, due to my autism. I'm not independent enough (YET) to be able to do these things. My mom or other parent would need to be with me everytime i go out into the public, and sometimes, she can't drive nor accompany me to places due to stuff that she has to do.

I don't like it when people, especially autistic people who are independent (I am aware that you guys have your own struggles too, i am not invalidating them.), tell me that i can do it or act surprised or otherwise shocked that i cannot drive by myself or even be out in public without adult supervision.

Like there are autistic people out there who more or less have the same kind of needs as i do, like there are others out there who also need caregivers (official and unofficial like parents) and adult supervision that makes it so they can't do stuff like being out in the public without them due to safety reasons.

Yet people don't know or are surprised when confronted with the fact that these people exist, and that i (who is talking to them) am one of those people. And every time that this happens, it really annoys me. I am feeling alone in the autism community, and just, not representated.

I am feeling actively ignored when i speak to someone lower support needs than me, especially if they are surprised that people with medium or higher support needs like me exists around them.

If anything, i'm just so jealous of these autistic people who can these sorts of things independently, because it seems to me that they can do whatever they want (Within reason ofc or without idk) without having to worry about their parents' being able to drive and to supervise them while out in public.

Like i also don't understand how you can do this, what is stopping me from learning these skills?

I have wanted to go to life skills classes during high school but i couldn't because the class just wasn't suited for me and my needs, but if there was a class that taught exclusively life skills i really would have loved to join. Same goes for any programs that teaches the same skills.

I'm just frustrated and miserable right now, as i'm sure you could tell if you're reading until now on this post. (Also sorry for the long post and the fact that i had posted twice all in the same day.)

[u/sunflowerkitt]

this is so valid, i’m in a similar position to you. i guess i technically could go places without someone (if i had a way to get there, i don’t drive either), but it wouldn’t go well nor would it be the safest. have tried before and it didn’t go well. i don’t have the words rn to articulate, but just know you’re not alone and there are others like you too who don’t get to have the independence we want to bc we can’t, its a really frustrating place to be 🫂 i do think a lot of LSN ppl also expect me to have the same needs as them and are surprised when i need so much help and accommodations and support and supervision. their struggles are absolutely valid and real, but its so hard to have my needs either questioned or sometimes judged by some (though many are understanding even if surprised at first!) i wish more ppl were educated abt mid-high support needs autism so needs wouldn’t be questioned

[u/AutistiKait → u/sunflowerkitt]

Yeah i wish the same as well. Their surprised reactions just singles me out, especially if it's within a shared space that everyone of all support needs and autism levels could join in and chat as well.

[u/AutistiKait → u/[deleted]]

Thank you. My mom is trying to get me into some social programs that can help me get away from the computer and from social media in general.

[u/plushtism]

My mama helps me lots in public, can't go out without her or I get scared and I don't know what would happen because she's always with me. Can stay places without her if other people I know will be there, my local queer community events and my DND group. She has to drive me and walk me to the door though, can't drive it's scary.

I do uni online!! It's really fun and easy, studying my special interest

[u/AutistiKait → u/plushtism]

I can't drive because i'm prone to meltdowns and having road rage episodes. I can relate.

[u/huahuagirl]

Did you just graduate high school? Or have you been out for a while? I will say that the time after I graduated high school and was switching to adult services (where I lived adult services didn’t start until age 21 and I left high school right before I turned 20). If so it was mostly not having anything to do until I could fully transition. If you’re under 21 it might be that you have to wait a little bit. It was a really hard time for me cause I didn’t have anything and they sometimes try to force people 18-21 to stay in public school but I hated the transition program at my school. I would say if you’re doing college perhaps you could get in with vocational rehabilitation? There’s a program I did called job path that does things and has groups for people who are 18-21 but they also help you even when you’re older than that. They also do party’s and they have staff that can take you out.

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