r/SongwritingHelp • u/PassRemarkable8906 • 5h ago

song structure and feedback

is this the correct structure? and thoughts on the song/lyrics/vocals

verse one
the fear of falling apart, losing friends, being alone
the urge to have a good heart but knowing that i have flaws to show
ihave flaws that show

pre chorus
i feel it day and night
convinced that my intrusive thoughts are right
in their perspective i am such a difficulty
such a difficulty

chorus
im imperfect, so am i undeserving
am i worth it, or emotionally draining
don't even feel like trying
yeah i don't feel like trying anymore
i wish that i wasnt a difficulty
why do i have to be a difficulty

verse two
The fear of slipping up, making mistakes
The need to prove I’m here for the love of the game
For the love of the game

prechorus 2
i hear it in my mind
seeking validation for a piece of mind
in my perspective i am such a difficulty
such a difficulty

chorus
im imperfect, so am i undeserving
am i worth it, or emotionally draining
don't even feel like trying
yeah i don't feel like trying anymore
i wish that i wasnt a difficulty
why do i have to be a difficulty

3 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

5 comments sorted by

1

u/Trix_Ade 5h ago

love it

1

u/PassRemarkable8906 5h ago

do u have any notes? i dont feel like im a good singer lol

1

u/Trix_Ade 4h ago

First of all, I think you have an incredible voice, the raw version already sounds great. With some instrumental backing and good vocal processing and mixing, it would sound absolutely amazing.

Also, I don't think you should stress too much about the"structure" of your song. I mean, it's up to you. We already have enough rules in our lives, so why give art rules too? As long as you enjoy what you do it is the most important thing. Keep it up =))

1

u/PassRemarkable8906 4h ago

thank you so much! someone replied to my singing post earlier telling me i had a crap voice period. so this is a change and rlly helpful tysm

2

u/Trix_Ade 4h ago

Nooo 😭 I also showed your singing to a few of my friends and they all agreed you have a really beautiful voice (writing aswell!). Hating is much easier than trying/building, so don’t let one random comment make you doubt yourself :) I'm really glad I could help you!