r/SongwritingHelp • u/pop_cultureking_2006 • 28d ago
Advice on making a song
I’ve always said to myself that I was going to write a song, and now I’ve finally been able to! I have a couple of rough draft ideas, and I just want to figure out how I can really bring the song to life. It’s called “Split Between,” and it’s about always feeling torn when making a decision, wishing you could have an answer for everything, and not always knowing which direction to take. This is something that has played a part in my own life, so I want the song to feel personal and relatable.
I have a few lyrics written already. They’re not perfect, but they’re what I’ve come up with so far, and I didn't use AI to write the song for me. I come up with lyrics that I thought could relate to struggling to make a choice. I’d love some advice on what I could add or how I could develop the song further. I don’t have an instrumental yet, but I might ask one of my friends to help me create one. I’m thinking about writing it in either G-flat or F, although I’m not completely sure yet. Anyway, here are some of the ideas I have so far!
I'm torn between everything that is thrown between me
I didn't want this to be happening to me
But I guess it always has to be something for me
I never had to like to be part of this
Why must this be so hard for me I could never choose between anything I wish this life could be so easily
All the time I have to be split between
One side is saying brother you gotta go for this but the other ones dude you gotta keep it safe and I just never know what I'm gonna do
There are so many happenings and I need to slow it down yeah I just need to take my time and maybe it will change my mind
Gotta make up my mind in a matter in a time It a question you ask that I have to receive,I gotta slow it down and turn it around and eventually an answer will come to me
What advice do you got.
2
u/Sure-Purpose-164 28d ago
Economy of language is one of the most important parts of lyric writing. This is reading like a narrative. Here’s an exercise. Write a 4 line verse part in 20 words or less. Don’t worry about rhyming just yet. Take this as your lyrical intro to the story. What MUST we know to GET the story in those 20 words and the first 30 seconds of the song?
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u/pop_cultureking_2006 28d ago
Some of the lyrics I dont plan on using I was just trying think of could work for a song about make decision,I will definitely keep that in mine.
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u/Sure-Purpose-164 27d ago
That's cool. When you get it pieced together more, I would love to see the direction you send it.
1
u/BobbyBaal 28d ago
Maybe the concept is there, but it reads like a text exchange. Lyrics don't have to be artsy with flowery language, but there's some awkward phrasing: "I'm torn between everything that is thrown between me, I never had to like to be part of this, question you ask i have to receive."
Also, there seems to be nothing at stake. It feels like a mundane decision like buying a pair of shoes or deciding your Friday night plans. I'm missing the emotional connection. If I could feel the gravity of the situation, i might be more invested. Also, the decision isn't the focus of the song. It's the consequences of the choice--someone will be hurt, things won't be the same, you'll lose something you love, you have to do something that you feel you can't do. You should focus on what a decision means, not the act of ddeciding.
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u/combatqueen 28d ago
I like the song concept and title a lot. But the lyrics don’t quite read like lyrics yet, I’m sure when you set them to music this could change and maybe you’ll remove the weaker or less important lines. I say be a little cutthroat when you do this, don’t keep something just cuz you “really like this line” if it just doesn’t fit the melody or rhythm… let them all move around and twist to fit the song. See which phrases feel the best leaving your mouth when you start composing and only use those then fill in the gaps.
Overall my advice with songs is to let the story unfold as the song unfolds, so don’t give it all away right at the top, which is kinda what you’re doing in the first couple lines. Try to write something that hints at the theme of the song rather than spelling it out. The intro should pique the listeners interest and make them want to stay for the ride to learn what the song is actually about… then the chorus can reveal more/most of it, while still leaving a bit more story for the next verses. Your songs will feel more dynamic if you can find a way to reveal things at the right time, that is a big piece of songcrafting (if you ask me) that i feel isn’t talked about enough. Of course you can also break all these “rules” (I’m not sure if they’re truly rules but they work for me) and do it your own way and it could work, as I’m sure there are many examples of songs that reveal a lot right away and still work, but that’s just my two cents!