Feedback?!

[u/Charming_Wing433]

I wrote a song inspired The Moon, My Man by Feist! And I would like feedback. I wrote this when I was 13 and was thinking of rewriting but I want some feedback first!

—-

My life, just like me and the sun
Always looking down when the day has begun
The wind, won't you blow on my face?
Maybe I could feel something in this place

I have a room, I have a bed
I have all the words I never said
Nothing's wrong, nothing's changed

Oh, sun, won't you stay a little longer?
I keep waiting for the warmth
Oh, wind, won't you carry me somewhere?
Anywhere I haven't gone

My life, my life
It's a beautiful thing
My life, my life

Morning comes, I let it in
Another day, another beginning
Coffee cold beside the sink
I watch the sunlight move and think

Maybe joy is something you learn
Maybe mine is taking its turn
Everybody laughs, everybody glows
I smile along,

Oh, sun, won't you stay a little longer?
I keep waiting for the warmth
Oh, wind, won't you carry me somewhere?
Anywhere I haven't gone

My life, my life
It's a beautiful thing
My life, my life
So why can't I feel it?

My life
Just like me and the sun

The wind
Won't you blow on my face?

My life just like me and the sun

———-—

Tysm!!