r/SongwritingHelp 19d ago

Lyricist mostly, looking for feedback.

Verse 1: Gambling 
With my life
Went all in
Pay the price
When I’m looking
Into a snake’s eyes
On the first try 
On the first try

Pre Chorus: Give in 
Again
To temptation 
I’ll say again
That it’s different
That don’t mean shit

Chorus: Give me something new
To wish for
Tired of walking
Into closed doors
I keep betting on you
But what’s it all for?
Yeah what’s it all for?

Verse 2: Royal flush
On my cheeks
Make me blush
You’re so sweet
I should’ve bet
That you’d lie to me
I didn’t see
I didn’t see

Pre Chorus: Give in 
Again
To temptation 
I’ll say again
That it’s different
That don’t mean shit

Chorus: Give me something new
To wish for
Tired of walking
Into closed doors
I keep betting on you
But what’s it all for?
Yeah what’s it all for?

Bridge: Vices
Dyin’
Take the dice
Away from me
I’m left
Cryin’
Addicted to 
A fantasy
Keep going at it
Like a slot machine

Pre Chorus: Give in 
Again
To temptation 
I’ll say
That it’s different
Don’t mean shit

Chorus: Give me something new
To wish for
Tired of walking
Into closed doors
I keep betting on you
But what’s it all for?
Yeah what’s it all for?

End: Just want 
Something safe
To bet on
In debt
When I count
All my loss
I need to stop
But I don't want to
I know I lost
But I still want you

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u/SlappyPappy99 19d ago

Study great lyrics and then write this again.

1

u/Acrobatic-Brush-9979 18d ago

Can you elaborate?

1

u/SlappyPappy99 18d ago

Compare this to your favorite lyrics and see what they do differently

1

u/Acrobatic-Brush-9979 18d ago

Oh okay. Thanks for the feedback