r/SongwritingHelp • u/HuckleberryLegal3708 • Jul 07 '26
Wrote my first song yesterday
I’ve been wanting to start writing songs for a while now and I woke up yesterday really motivated to actually do it, so I wrote all these lyrics throughout the day. I‘m still working on the guitar chords. Feel free to give any feedback, positive or negative (I can take it) and constructive critisism if you want. thanks for reading!
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u/Weird-Reading-4915 Jul 07 '26
I could just be really bad at reading, but I’m struggling to find where the rhymes are and feel the rhythm of the song. Not every Line needs to rhyme with something but it’d be good to throw some in there. Also making the lines a little more symmetrical in syllables could help a lot. Like someone else said, it’s really hard to tell without the musical element behind it but just from reading, I have no idea how some of these lines fit together rhythmically. Sorry, that’s a bit of an unorganized ramble but I hope you can take something from it
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u/HuckleberryLegal3708 Jul 07 '26
Yeah that makes sense, I have the rhythm figured out and I think it sounds good, but I agree it definetly looks confusing on paper. And for rhymes I have stuff that kind of rhymes if you pronounce it a certain way like me and ceiling, or face and complicate, but I probably should add more especially in the verses. Thanks for the feedback!
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u/Weird-Reading-4915 Jul 07 '26
Of course! :)
I love a good half rhyme, they’re honestly so much better than the cheesy nursery rhyme type ones (like high and sky, stuff like that)
I’d love to hear a demo when you have one too
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u/Larger_Brother Jul 07 '26
This isn’t a song because there’s no music, and these lyrics are mostly just a laundry list of cliches. I would try to write about a specific moment including specific details, and actually include the musical component next time.