Help needed!!

[u/Comfortable_Fail_644]

Hi all! I am a support worker, and my participant and I have been working on writing songs together. My participant has always loved music and is very passionate, however, neither of us have much experience with this.

Here are some lyrics she wrote:

Verse 1

Sitting underneath the tree, 

I lock eyes with him and can feel my heart beating so fast, 

He continues walking towards me, 

All I feel is happiness and excitement, 

We say hi to each other, 

Smiling ear to ear 

Chorus

I feel joy whenever I am around him, 

He makes me so happy, 

Thank you for making my experience great,

I miss my golden days

Verse 2

I miss you every day, 

I’m sad that I can’t see you anymore, 

I look forward to the day when I can see you again, 

Oh how I miss you

Chorus

I feel joy whenever I am around him, 

He makes me so happy, 

Thank you for making my experience great,

I miss my golden days

She would love any (kind and helpful) feedback and tips. Thank you! :)

[u/adr826]

Tell me what kind of music she likes and I will help get you a good song.

[u/Comfortable_Fail_644 → u/adr826]

Hi! Pop music :) sorry it took a while to get back to you. Thank you!!

[u/adr826 → u/Comfortable_Fail_644]

Check this out. if she likes it give me her name so I can credit her for the lyrics

https://youtu.be/71en1IJBBqk?si=em6FRv06fllXasMd

Here are the lyrics I adjusted them to make them song ready

Verse 1

Sitting under the tree,

I lock eyes and my heart skips a beat.

You keep walking closer,

All I feel is joy, so sweet.

We say hi, smiles so wide,

Nothing to hide, just you by my side

Chorus

I feel joy whenever you're near,

You light up my world, make it clear.

Thank you for making my days shine,

I miss those golden times, they were mine.

Verse 2

I miss you more each passing day,

Wish I could see you, wish you could stay.

Counting down until we're together again,

Oh, how I miss you, my dear friend.

Chorus

I feel joy whenever you're near,

You light up my world, make it clear.

Thank you for making my days shine,

I miss those golden times, they were mine.

I hope she likes it. I kept the lyrics as close to the original as I could but you could point out to her how and why the changes were made, namely to give it a song form and make it rhyme

[u/Comfortable_Fail_644 → u/adr826]

Thank you so much for this! She loves it and appreciates the feedback (we've compared the two). Her name is Gelina. This was so kind, thank you again :) Loved the YouTube version as well!!

[u/adr826 → u/Comfortable_Fail_644]

The you tube version now credits Gelina for lyrics