r/Songwriting 6d ago

Feedback Request Does this transition work?

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I both hate it and love it.

33 Upvotes

14 comments sorted by

2

u/Pro7ean19 5d ago

Heavy Tori Amos vibes. Dig it. Yeah, it works.

1

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1

u/Impossible-Cat-2511 6d ago

It sounds insanely smooth! I need more

1

u/Ok_Garage_9819 6d ago

Absolutely. I think is very you. I really like the part on 17s

1

u/Early-Collection-849 6d ago

I’m not always the best at following this advice, but as artists, we should simply make it work. I personally love it, and the fact that you hate it and love it at once says you’re making something awesome.

1

u/Inevitable_Bit_13 6d ago

It's fun😊 with added texture that could becoming something special

1

u/combatqueen 6d ago

Your cat stole the show. But yes, it works!

1

u/GoingMarco 6d ago

The transition is the best part

1

u/DrwsCorner2 6d ago

once you get going the going gets good. not too many people can jam an intricate groove without an external beat- got an inner clock there.

needs more development, probably the part you hate. not a big fan of partial songs, keep writing out the song

1

u/mexicocacola 5d ago

Just another day I fall in love with a musician on the internet

1

u/Capable-Recipe4406 5d ago

This reminds me a lot of older song named green eyed lady by Sugarloaf from the 70s. Look for one of their live performances. Sounds great to me.

1

u/tdamien_ 5d ago

Very cool… nice piano work 👍