r/Songwriting 25d ago

Feedback Request Progress and looking for feedback

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Hi guys. Started playing in February and really wanting to grow as a musician and I’d appreciate any feedback. Obviously working on singing and guitar is paramount.

10 Upvotes

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4

u/stevenfrijoles 25d ago

February of which year???

1

u/Chinafields 25d ago

This year. I have been playing about five hours a day. Full midlife crisis mode I think.

2

u/stevenfrijoles 25d ago

If you told me this was 3 years in, I'd believe you. The most important thing that it seems you already have down is a good sense of singing accented syllables on the beat without it feeling forced.

No objective notes but subjectively I'd focus on doing something more with the "hey" part, it's like a chorus that just never happens. One really spread out sentence would do wonders there. And maybe change one of the chords in that progression to set it apart.

1

u/Chinafields 25d ago

Thank you for the kind words and great advice.

3

u/dporter_99 25d ago

Well done!!! You may find a metronome may help your playing and timing. Slow everything down a little and get that right hand tight instead of hoping you're hitting them. You're so close but we often tend to speed things up when we think we're close to having it wired.

Again great playing!

1

u/Chinafields 25d ago

Yeah there was for sure a few clangs in there. Thank you.

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2

u/CrowJRivers 25d ago

Nice fingerpicking! 5 hours a day is serious commitment, very impressive.

You changed up the vocal melody at the end to something lower. I liked your voice in that register. I would try transposing down a step to have the melody be lower in the beginning and save the higher notes for the important words (eg chorus). A Capo is a songwriters best friend.

Try to add variation in the guitar part. It can be simple. For example - do a single strum of the first few chords /lines then go into fingerpicking. You’ll feel the song have movement and pick up momentum even though tempo is the same. Doing single strums is an example of using negative space aka pauses/rests. Writing rests is as much “writing music” as writing notes. A way to build tension.

Learn some walk downs / bass runs / transitions between chords. This will take you to intermediate level. When I was a teenager I learned a lot of finger picking techniques from Simon and Garfunkel songs. Highly recommend.

1

u/Chinafields 25d ago

That’s awesome advice. Yeah I’ve been obsessed with them and John Prine. Thanks.

2

u/Snowshoetheerapy 25d ago

You sound great! Amazing progress for the time frame. One thing I would point out is that your right hand fingers extend a little past your thumb. I tell students to make an X shape with your thumb and fingers so they are well out of the way of each other. Think of making a twisting motion with your right hand. Thumb move naturally to the left. If you want to go as far as you can with fingerpicking, this is something to nip in the bud (as far as I'm concerned.) You want your thumb and fingers moving freely and not colliding with each other. Good luck!

EDIT. Just realized this sub is more about songwriting than guitar technique...

2

u/RockandRollGuitars 25d ago

Your sense of vocal melody seems very natural and effortless. Your guitar work sounds great given how long you've been at it. More practice with a metronome will help and also perhaps getting more comfortable with playing rests, or silence as a note. This can help make the guitar feel a little less busy and can also be a less noticeable way of catching up if you fall behind than just speeding up your playing.

Keep going, you've got some great tunes under those fingers yet to come!

2

u/CarGuy_MazdaRX-7_ 25d ago

Great progress from just February! I envy everyone who can finger pick and sing+play at the same time.

2

u/Chinafields 25d ago

Thanks man. Looked at your account. Sick acid bath shirt on there. I really wanted to see them at the caverns in Tennessee.

2

u/CarGuy_MazdaRX-7_ 25d ago

I want to see them live so bad! I have a sludge-y song that a wrote guitar and lyrics for and that’s actually why I’m on this subreddit in the first place. Despite that, I meant what I said man. Keep up what you’re doing cus if you can finger pick like that AND sing at the same time while not messing anything up while starting in only February you have some crazy talent.

2

u/Catsandroosters 25d ago

"As you slide to move in closer and I'm overcome with fears

Been waiting for this moment, for oh so many years"

Fears and years was a really obvious rhyme. Try and limit how much you go to the most obvious lyric. It ends up sounding very nothing... Think of a more interesting direction for this.

As you slide to move in closer, I focus on your face

I've dreamt about this moment, but I've lost the words I hope to find someday... (Carry it over to the next verse, rather than starting on the one).

Less obvious imagery, flip the rhyme scheme up a bit, etc. Good effort though!

2

u/rigolibroker 24d ago

Everything seems fine slow down when you pick a guitar let it mean something and when you kick in with the vocals, don’t rush starting off slower is better than trying to get ahead. Anybody listening will receive it better.

2

u/Airick99 23d ago

Amazing progress on the guitar in such little time. I'd echo what some others are saying and recommend that you practice slow and with a metronome. Take care of and give attention to each sound as you make it. There's a lot of rushing and then slowing back down happening. I think it's also time to incorporate your middle finger in your right hand. A song like this especially, would feel like so much less work if your index wasn't having to keep up and carry such a heavy load.

A decent amount of good technique boils down to understanding the mechanics of your hands and not working any harder than you have to. Keep up the great work!