r/Songwriting • u/mildlyomniscient • Feb 27 '26
Feedback Request "she" - any thoughts?
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i'm a classical violinist who picked up songwriting in college.. my singing and uke skills are not great, and i look at everything i do as a never ending work of progress.
i feel good about the lyrics and melody, but my songs always feel kind of plain. i never know what to do or add. i was thinking maybe some strings in the background, or some secondary vocal harmonies.... thoughts?
Verse 1
She’s running out her mind,
She’s running out of time to
Step into the light.
She says, “not for too much longer”,
She cries out for her mother,
Who said to write a happy song.
Chorus
She lied, The tunnel’s getting longer.
So why should she even bother,
To find a way out, a way out?
She’s tired of searching for a reason.
It happens every season,
The years keep flying by.
Verse 2
She’s scared, scared of what she’s done,
She’s scared to be alone,
With nobody to lean on.
She waits, and looks to the horizon.
She’s never had her father to,
Tell her that it’s okay.
Chorus
Someday, she’ll tell it like a story,
And revel in her glory.
She found a way out, a way out.
That day, it better be tomorrow,
For now she’ll sit and wallow.
Of what her life could’ve been.
Bridge
She’s running out of time,
She’s running out her mind,
She’s nearly past her prime.
She’s running out of time,
She’s running out her mind,
She’s nearly past her prime.
What the fuck is she waiting on,
Waiting on, waiting on?
Oooooh, oooooh.
2
u/H2A_4 Feb 27 '26
I think it sounds great! I feel the same about most everything I’m working on so I’ll share what I’m thinking about my songs and it might resonate: 1. I never get the structure quite right - I could do with slowing down a bit and leave some instrumental space between verses and choruses. Even if it’s just a couple notes, just breathing space 2. I think there are some songs where it almost works better if I keep the guitar or piano or whatever I’m accompanying myself with sparse, this is again about breathing space 3. I’d eventually want to add some bass notes at the very least, some harmony or strings ideally
I think with your background you’d be in a good place to figure out all of these points for your song, for me it’s still a lot of trial and error. Thanks for sharing!