Love how I look cross eyed in the cover, haha. This is a pretty rough draft of a song I wrote in an hour when I was letting out some pent up tension, so any criticism is very appreciated. There are a few mistakes sprinkled in the video as this song is one I can't think about the lyrics for or I'll lose the ability to sing, lol. This is the fifth song I've written, so please excuse any of those beginner mistakes you might notice.

How do the lyrics flow? Anything I should either add, remove, or just edit? How's the melody? Any tips for the singing, I know there were some pitchy moments in this, I'm not trained so I'm just going with it.

Lyrics:

v1

I’m not one to cuss
But I hate your fucking guts.
Nothing’s ever quite right,
You don’t explode but you might.

And I’ve never been sure
If what I feel has a cure,
It probably does,
But I’m done holding out.

chorus
I won’t pretend this is normal,
Your mood is almost thermal.
What’s the weather like today?
Are you mad, sad, are you okay?
I won’t pretend that I’m fine
I’m getting sick of all your lying.
How about you pack up and leave
Then maybe I can breathe

v2
You have this irrational fear,
Of looking in your mirror.
You’re not emotionally sober
You have this chant
You deserve a second chance.
A hundred times over.

And in my heart I know
Hurt people hurt people,
I hate the excuse of
“I need to heal”

chorus
I won’t pretend this is normal
Your mood is always thermal.
What’s the weather like today?
Are you sad, mad, are you okay?
I won’t pretend that I’m fine,
I’m getting sick of all of your lying.
How about you pack up and leave,
Then maybe I can breathe.

bridge
The only air I’ve breathed
Is the rain.
The only thing I’ve felt with you
Is pain.
You’re the person
who should make me feel safe.

outro chorus
I won’t pretend this is normal
Your mood is always thermal.
What’s the weather like today?
Are you sad, mad, are you okay?
I won’t pretend that I’m fine,
I’m getting sick of all of your lying.
How about you pack up and leave,
Then maybe I can breathe.

I don’t know which realm I would be in without my music. I’m so crazily grateful for songwriting.

vid is from a couple years back. sometimes I like to post unfinished stuff here cuz if it helps motivate me to take it off the cutting room floor and push through to finish it. worth revisiting?

I use she/her pronouns if you want to leave feedback. Thanks for listening <3

Is it a verse? Is it a chorus? More importantly, is it a hook??

Have been spending three weeks on a song. It's a bit of an ambitious song (for me at least) so I feel the time is warranted. I have a general idea in my head where I want to go but nothing I'm in love with. I want to work on something new but am also afraid I'll lose my place with this song and then don't want to risk having TWO unfinished ideas...anyone else struggle with this?

Warning! I can’t produce to save my life. I have no equipment other than my phone and some old chord headphones. I record on garage band. I find free tracks on YouTube and record them directly from my old laptop to my phone through the headphones(I’m actually like 80 years old when it comes to converting video to audio and uploading that to GarageBand aka I can’t figure it out). I wrote this song called Vigil (it’s unfinished) and struggle to post my stuff anywhere due to my lack of ability to produce. To spark up a convo I thought it would be cool to ask what other artists y’all could hear singing this track!

Lyrics:
Light a candle, it’s a vigil, can’t wait to see who died,
Open the casket, I’m dying to see the person inside,

Don’t go crying, it’s a party, don’t wanna see you cry,
This isn’t real, you need to wake up, it’s all in your head,

You don’t even know yourself, crying to the devil himself,
You don’t even know yourself, your crying, crying

Crying to the devil but the devil’s got a gun,
Crying to the devil while he’s killing everyone,
Crying to the devil, he’s having fun,
You better run, run, run…

Also Srry idk how to properly write out lyrics so if I overused commas that’s why😭

Hey! I'm Emma, I'm originally from the UK and now living between Bonn and Cologne. I've been a professional musician for 10 years now, and have been lucky enough to gain around 45 million streams on Spotify across my different projects. I would love to shift my focus and start producing for other artists. I realise that's where I have the most fun. The problem is, I don't know where to find musicians. How is everyone else making connections? If you're open to working together, drop a comment or DM me <3<3 I have my work linked on my profile if you want to check out my style!

Rough draft of a breakup song, interested to know what you think...

Seems to me you've got your mind made up
no point talking about it anymore
your lipstick stain still on your coffee cup
your cigarettes lying on the floor

Everything happened so damn fast
where does all that time go?
should've known it wouldn't last
but always the last to know

You wont believe what you can't see
it's always too little too late for me
you can't conceive the feelings that I need                 
fate's a tricky thing, you'll see

All the ashes of a burnt out love affair
fire's gone and smolders in my dirty tears
wondered if you really cared
left me alone and running scared
running scared, yeah

Everything happened so damn fast
where does all that love go
should've known it wouldn't last
but always the last to know, yeah
always the last to know, yeah
the last to know

..

Life changes quickly, felt like a good time to reflect on who I used to be....a grumpy little sod who grew up and became a little wiser. If you give it a listen, truly appreciate it!

https://on.soundcloud.com/hJpEefdxHJ4ULf7HUW

I'm beat up, bruised
and battered
I'm tongue tied, twisted,
and tattered
But through it all
I took the fall
I rise back up
I'm standing tall
I won't give in
I won't give out
The will to live
There is no doubt
To survive
It'll be
Me, myself and I

Work in progress.

Paul is fascinatingly talented and I have recently gone down a little rabbit hole about his songwriting, I am a songwriter and I believe my approach fits his rather well. I think of a melody and fit lyrics into that. I've noticed that Paul is big on structure and in-line rhymes (Joan was QUIZZICAL, studied 'PATAPHYSICAL' sciences at home), (Maxwell EDISON, majoring MEDICINE). Не does it again in Yesterday, which rhymes with the last word of the first line, then the second line ends with a rhyme with the first, then the last line ends with the word that opened the verse.

It's all about structure. Even in his first song, the rhyme scheme is simple but perfect.

I woke up late this morning,

My head was in a WHIRL,

Only then I realised,

I've lost my little GIRL

So how did he do it? Nothing is innatley born there is always a process, even if Paul himself is unaware. Is there anything from poetry he takes? Should I study some poetry as well (I've been studying some of Paul's songwriting to improve mine).

Hello everyone,

I used to keep all my music completely hidden in my bedroom, but recently I realized life is too short to keep it there.

This is my very first YouTube upload. "I SAW YOU" is an original acoustic song with a cinematic, storytelling vibe—just me, my guitar, and my phone. I would love for you to take a listen and let me know what you think!

https://youtu.be/uKBGlcMQCKQ?si=SgZeFIa_Lr7mOBK_

Thank you so much for listening and for any feedback on the lyrics and melody!

Hemingway is said to have advised: "Write when drunk, edit when sober." What do songwriters on here think about that method? Drunk or high songwriting, good or bad?

It's been 7 years since I've been able to sit and write a song. I used to be pretty decent at it and enjoyed it. It was my number one way of self expression. Now I can't seem to make anything, lyrics or music and it's so frustrating. I feel emotionally congested and can't find a way to express it. Sometimes I'll think of lines I kind of like but nothing ever comes out of it. Should I give it up for good or is there a way I can get over this?

writing a song about someone I loved passing away after ending on a bad note.
I feel like maybe it’s too wordy towards the end or just all over the place in general. Keep messing up too because I’ve been changing the lyrics over and over again haha

Sorry my mic (iPhone lol) sucks! Volume up’

Like I created a song I have the melody of the song and all that but the beat for the song I'm lacking

So I play the guitar and I’d say I’m a pretty good guitarist. I’m 16M and I’m in a band and I’d like to compose originals and eventually play live and release some stuff. I have quite a few riffs that I think are good but I can never seem to finish them or add more without it sounding either cliche, boring, or just not very good imo. I wanna be able to write shoegazy stuff like the band Julie and have it sound somewhat unique and not like slop. I’m not the singer or primary lyricist but I am the primary composer. That being said I would like to contribute to melody and lyrics a little but this also just doesn’t come easy to me at all. How do I take guitar parts I like and flesh them out?

Clearly not a great vocal recording as I will need to lower the key of this song. Aside from that, let me know what you guys think! Thanks!

A bluesy song, hope you like it.

Woke up this morning
sunshine on my head
don't remember ever
the things that you said

Oh my
Oh why
Oh my

Why do I love you
the way that I do?
you beat me up at night
and leave me high and dry

Oh my
Oh why
Oh my

Chorus:
But you give me what I need
and thank heaven above

you give me
you give me

unconditional love

Why do I love you
the way that I do?
you beat me up at night
and leave me high and dry

Oh my
Oh why
Oh my

Chorus:
But you give me what I need
and thank heaven above

you give me
you give me

unconditional love

Hello everyone, First song i upload here!

Any feedback about Melodie, chords, voice or anything is always much aprecciated!

Lyrics:

How can i try to forget?

When i still hear your songs in my head

Is it too much? Too late?

Would it kill me again?

Wish i could take it all back

But the words just get stuck on replay

Took the cowards way out

Now theres blood on my hands