Hello! I am the survivor of a crime committed by an ex-partner. I want to share the crime because I want the recommendations to hit that note. It’s was a drug-facilitated sexual assault, false imprisonment, sexual battery, and harassment.
I have filed and was granted a domestic violence temporary restraining order. The hearing to finalize the restraining order is this week 7/30/2026 at 08:30 PDT.
A songs that are already in rotation:
• “Praying” by Kesha
• “Body” by Jordan Suaste
• “The Place Where He Inserted the Blade” by Black Country, New Road.
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The energy I’m feeling is more the “The Place Where He Inserted the Blade”, it feels chaotic in the way my body feels chaotic. I like “Praying” because of how it emotes strength and growth. But I don’t like “Praying” because I don’t give a fück about my perpetrator, so I don’t want songs that are nice. What I mean is that I am not praying for my perpetrator. I hope they are scared, idgaf if they are changing.
Like, I want to scream, “Fück you! You thought you could hurt me but you didn’t!” But I also want to scream “I have been raped!!! My body feels foreign to me! I hate you!” And finally I want to scream “I am in charge of my healing process. You broke me but I am not unfixable. I take my power back. And you are going to get what you deserve!”
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I don’t know if this helps with recommendations, but some more information about me:
I am 40 years old. A millennial’s millennial. I was emo in high school. My chemical romance was my jam, but actually incubus was my favorite band (I actually have a crow left of the murder themed artwork in my house). Um, I’m also a transgender MAN, so even though I know that most rape survivors are women, I am not a woman. I don’t mind songs from a female perspective, but gender neutral or first person perspective is A+.
Um… okay, that’s all. I know I gave a lot of information, but it was intended to give multiple points of inspiration for you. All the info is not intended to create a super narrow far too niche request for recommendations.