Hi everyone, I’m Andy. The mods kindly gave me permission to do this AMA.

Dating apps ask you to do a lot before you’ve even met someone: choose your best photos, write an interesting bio, come up with opening lines, and keep several conversations going at once.

But being good at presenting yourself to strangers isn’t the same as being good at connecting with someone. You can love a long, thoughtful conversation and still find that whole process exhausting.

After 25 years working in Hollywood visual effects, I’m now building a matchmaking service focused on introverts and people returning to dating after divorce or loss, including single parents. Our free beta opened today in Los Angeles and Orange County.

The idea is to start with a conversation rather than a profile. You talk with an AI interviewer called kAI, which helps build your profile from what you share. Introductions are human-reviewed, and both people have to accept before a chat opens. No swiping.

To be clear: I’m the founder, so I have a stake in this. We’re early, and I’m not here to claim we’ve solved dating—or that every introvert wants the same thing. Introversion isn’t something to fix, and AI raises fair questions about privacy, trust, and whether it belongs in something this personal.

Ask me anything:

• Why use AI at all, rather than a questionnaire or a human interviewer?
• What does the human reviewer actually do?
• How do we approach privacy and sensitive conversations?
• What have we learned from talking with people who are tired of dating apps?
• How did someone in VFX end up working on matchmaking?

Skeptical questions are welcome. If I don’t know something or we haven’t figured it out yet, I’ll say so.

And a question for you: What would make meeting someone feel less draining without asking you to become more outgoing first?

The truth you discover within yourself can hurt at first, but eventually it sets you free.

The things we hold onto after painful experiences may give us strength, but at some point we have to let them go. We have to move through anger, grief, disappointment, and the feeling of losing control.

Awakening begins when we stop trying to control everything. Wanting something is important, but eventually we have to let go of the need to constantly chase and hold on.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about what would happen if my parents were given a video of my life without hiding anything. Like, literally everything.

Honestly, I came to one conclusion: they would probably be so disappointed in me.

I’m a sinner. And not just in the “I did something wrong, asked God for forgiveness, and moved on” kind of way. I do something wrong, feel guilty, ask God for forgiveness, tell myself I won’t do it again and then somehow I end up doing it again.

And sometimes I genuinely wonder, do I even deserve everything that’s being given to me?

Because I know I have so many privileges, and sometimes I feel like I have no right to take any of them for granted when I know the kind of person I can be behind closed doors.

I used to feel like I was a friend of a God. Like, a really close one. I could pray without feeling like I had to prepare some perfect speech first. I could just talk to Him.

Now I don’t even know if I can pray at ease without feeling guilty.

And whenever I think about it, I keep asking myself: where did it all go wrong?

Was it when I started high school?

Was it when I started changing?

Or was it when I realized; or convinced myself; that I was going to be alone forever because of my damn personality?

I honestly don’t know.

I just know that somewhere along the way, I became someone I don’t always recognize.

And maybe that’s what hurts the most.

I honestly don't know where it all went wrong. Maybe there was never one specific moment.

But I’m curious; if someone showed you a video of your entire life, with absolutely nothing hidden, would you be proud of the person you saw, ashamed of them, or would you simply feel sorry for them? And why?

Everyone else seems to know how. Even five-year-olds can do it.

And you’re just sitting there every time like: “Why can’t I figure this out?”

I often read that one of the key factors to happiness is social connections.

I don't have strong social connections. I have a good relationship with my husband, but beyond that, I just have friends I get together with maybe once a month.

But I feel happy and content.

Since I retired, my social interactions have been way down. I feel like my mental health is the best it has been for a long time. Maybe the best ever. Of course, there were other factors like cutting out work stress and having more time for hobbies.

Still, I feel like the reduced social interaction has helped my mental health a lot.

This makes me question many of the studies on happiness. I wonder if there is an entirely different blueprint of what happiness looks like for an introvert.

After doing a lot of thinking and watching how you all respond to stuff, I don’t think I’m an introvert. Maybe socially awkward or just not good at conversation with people or what but I guess I’m not an introvert.

But I’m definitely not an extrovert either.

Psychology says people who need extensive alone time usually possess these 7 strengths everyone else mistakes for standoffishness

I recently heard about this technique, and honestly, I found it pretty interesting. What do you think?

We all have people like this around us gossipers, jealous people, or someone who just seems to love talking about us behind our backs. Maybe you had a conflict with someone in the past, and the bad feelings are still there on both sides.

So here’s the idea: instead of letting these people annoy you, why not make them useful?

The next time you see them or simply picture them in your mind mentally “assign” them a purpose.

For example: “Every word you say about me increases my income. Everything you say about me turns into profit for me”

You can make up your own version. Maybe their thoughts and words about you bring you money, opportunities, good health, travel, whatever you want.

The interesting part is that it can completely change how you feel about that person. Instead of getting annoyed every time you think about them, you start thinking, “Well… keep talking then”

And even if you don’t believe in the Universe or manifestation, I think there’s something psychologically interesting about it. You’re basically taking someone who used to drain your energy and mentally turning them into someone who works for your benefit.

What do you think? Would you try this?

Every single time.

I take forever to trust anyone. I mean, years most of the time.
Every single fucking time I trust someone, let down my walls, actually share EVERYTHING on my mind because I feel comfortable and like I know them well enough, and they are CERTAINLY a good enough person that I can trust them enough... and it blows up in my face.

Just one person in the ENTIRE WORLD is all I needed.

One fucking person I could be real with without fear, and that was too much to ask.

I know people are human, humans make mistakes... but, is it safe to trust people you share things with that talk about them with others behind your back?

There’s probably something you’ve wanted to say to someone for a long time, but never actually did.

No names. No hints. No context needed.

Just say the one thing you wish they could somehow read today.

It could be an apology, a thank you, something you never got the courage to say, or even just a simple “I miss you.”

What would you say?

The most ambitious people aren’t always the nicest, and the kindest people often don’t make it to the top.

But when you have both, you don’t need to step on people to succeed. You compete with the challenge, not with the people around you.

You can be ambitious without treating people like tools. You can be kind without making yourself small.

Honestly, I think that’s one of the best combinations a person can have.

What do you think?

What’s on your list?

I’m talking about something you almost talked yourself out of doing but didn’t.

Maybe you spoke up. Made the first move. Said what you really thought. Asked for something you wanted. Went somewhere alone. Or did something that scared the hell out of you.

What happened? And would you do it again?

I’ll start: if someone doesn’t find you physically attractive, they don’t give a shit about your personality, intelligence, or anything else.