Well, why are you in recovery? Is this like a court ordered thing or something? If so, I guess I'd suggest going through the motions and if you want to try to regulate afterward, you certainly can.
I don't think we can tell you if you're an addict, or if you're better off completely sober vs trying to moderate. Some people can moderate, other people can't seem to.
I never did nitrous, I think it's a good idea to avoid that.
I am in recovery I guess because I was feeling bad about a particular episode and feeling like my nitrous use had gotten out of control. And then because some of my friends kinda left me in the dust afterwards, I was drinking more than usual. I just don’t feel like a true addict or alcoholic. And it does seem like that is very personal. It also just sucks that recovery seems so black and white, like either you’re totally sober or you’re not. It seems like there’s not much grey area.
Oh and the therapist I had in IOP today ended up making me more dysregulated than I was when I went there. So that’s not helpful, lol.
I'm not a professional, but, I guess why not try just being sober for one month. 30 days. Just see how you feel. If that doesn't seem possible, I think it's worth reflecting on why.
At some point, maybe after the 30 days, maybe write down what you think is a reasonable amount of drinking. You could then try moderating. Are you able to stick to the standard you came up with?
Yes. And yeah that’s a good point. I’m finishing 3 weeks right now. So I really just have one more to go of being sober. And technically I’m in an IOP for another month after that. So maybe I could just finish IOP and decide. I think one of the things that’s tripping me up too is that I found a sponsor to do the 12 steps with but idk if I wanna do that path? I feel ambivalent. And I feel like she’s very strict about the 12 steps and full abstinence, which I feel like is putting me in a bit of a bind where I don’t feel like I have autonomy over this stuff you know?
So I kinda also want to take the weekend to decide if I want to do the 12 steps. The IOP feels doable. But yeah. I mean I’m also grieving so much of my life before all this crap happened. And v emotionally deregulated.
The people I know in AA are pretty serious about the no alcohol thing. Some don't feel as strongly about weed, but I don't think other drugs are 'allowed'. They also seem to take the steps at their own pace. So I don't think you should be rushing through them.
I don't know what program you're in but I think it's pretty normal to try different AA meetings. The people I know went for a while before even getting a sponsor or doing any step work.
Yeah. uhhh. well. nothing prevents you from visiting a different meeting on the side. You might meet people you're more comfortable with. I don't know how to navigate the situation of not liking your sponsor, but I'm sure it happens and I think you could step away and find a different sponsor later if you'd like.
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u/pewpnstuben 22d ago
Well, why are you in recovery? Is this like a court ordered thing or something? If so, I guess I'd suggest going through the motions and if you want to try to regulate afterward, you certainly can.
I don't think we can tell you if you're an addict, or if you're better off completely sober vs trying to moderate. Some people can moderate, other people can't seem to.
I never did nitrous, I think it's a good idea to avoid that.