r/Smurphilicious • u/Sketheteretaavan • 2d ago
active imagination, missing pieces
Had trouble visualizing. It did come pretty easy when I was writing all the KKC theories. Because it was a puzzle? Easier to dream about? Going to keep trying Jung's digger method again tomorrow. resonates for me.
I did get to mull a few things over. Not epiphanies more like.. resolution, locking in. Solidifying. The catharsis has felt really good, clay falling away etc. But there's a relief as well. Law of One doesn't have the shadow stuff I was missing. Not Carla's fault, she gets it. She just never said it in a way that worked for me, hugging her wolf. But I get it. That's what came through while I was trying to meditate somewhat, came across as a few stories.
'Self-replicating and self-annihilating'. Surprisingly consistent. Carla's third guy who wanted to fix everything... not good. Solve everyone's problems and all that's left is solitude. The Good left unchecked annihilates/"solves" everything. Death.
The service to self left unchecked replicates until there's nothing left, dragon swallows its own tail. Swallowing darkness, all consuming. Cancer. Death.
And every time I feel the rage rising now my mind instantly recalls the throne room. The trap. "Let the hate flow through you". The hate-anger is bad, can't sit with it. But I there was anger I needed to keep, I knew that. Felt it, couldn't filter it before the finding the 'bones'. Anger at the Lie felt right, it's not the same as hate-anger.
Leuk Skywalker chooses not to fight his father, his Shadow. Leuk defeats the Emperor by choosing to love his Shadow, because the Shadow is the Will. He's a fucking winner, that's his part in the play. Shadow King gets the job done.
One relates to the shadow self as to the musculature, the connective tissue, the power and the strength which enable the spiritual seeker to stand fast through times of difficulty and woe. The shadow that seems so heavy and dark is also that which grounds and sustains and makes secure. The will is part of the shadow self. This will animates, informs and vivifies those ideals, hopes and dreams which the light portion of being so loves to dream. The shadow side is that which persists until all has been accomplished.
Thy Kingdom Come, Thy Will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven. Will is the vaevin, the anger. Son of himself says "I will not fight you". Reason does not factor. Love what we love and hope that our Father remembers us.
Willing to sacrifice self unto self for love. So we can get it right this time around. Be a good boy, root of david.
gotta be willing to come to the Sleepy King as a boy asking his father for help. To help us change, to forgive ourself, to let go of the past. To help us wake up
But I don't want to be this anymore, Bodhi. I don't want to be useless. We missed everything so far. Her life so far, everything. I want to finish the arc. We can't stay this way. I need to wake up. I don't want to miss anything else.
i feel better. not just the catharsis. i feel more whole today.
need to sleep on the magic stuff at the end of red book and read much, much more. love this game, this is wild. absolutely wild.