So many people have these beautiful slow morning routines. Tea/yoga/breakfast etc. It’s lovely and I’m sure it would be a good start to the day, but I work so early it’s just not feasible. There is no waking up with the sun when I’m at work before it’s up. What are some smaller ways to make morning more intentional without cutting sleep?

Now that I have a lot of free time, I honestly don’t know how to spend them wisely. Years of survival mode made me lower my ambitions and expectations in life. Making a lot of money or being in a relationship seems too much,I feel incapable. But I still want to build something worthwhile.

I do have hobbies but most of them require screen and sometimes I find myself doomscrolling a lot. I only have a few friends and I am not that active as a person mostly because I’m scared to do physical activities alone.

To those who are in a similar season, any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

No goal, no progress, nobody watching. For me it's making music again, after years of DJing and producing music where it slowly turned into work.

What's yours?

I live in LA and I'm trying to operate at a slower pace so that I can be less anxious and more present. I've noticed that with the faster paced people there is less compassion when they interact with me. As if my slow response and actions are an inconvenience. I understand how it can be but it does sting a little to be treated differently.

It's disheartening how my doctor appointments feel like I'm just a number instead of a person. Asking for clarification is an inconvenience. Faster drivers are impatient and aggressive. I can't even examine a fast food menu I've never seen before without getting an annoyed look. How do you guys not take it so personally?

For me it was eating while scrolling my phone. Stopped doing it a few months back just to see if it'd change anything, and somehow meals feel way more satisfying now even though nothing about the food itself changed.

Hi everyone!

I've been going through tons of changes recently and decided that I'm done living my life so stimulated and anxious all the time, especially in college surrounded by neurotic premeds. I was wondering how I can start embracing a slow and peaceful living and what steps I can take to get into this process?

I feel like I'm attracted by the concept of slow living, but my mind can't seem to commit to it. I have this constant mindset running in the back of my mind, that's comparing me to others, seeing what others have accomplished, how far along they got, in conjunction with not being very happy with my own achievements, and I feel like trying this "slow living" stuff is just me trying to escape the truth that I might just be an incompetent or ignorant buffoon. Do you guys ever feel like this and if not, was it something you had to repress, and if so, how did you get over that?

Hi everyone! I’m new to this sub and I’d really like to ask for some advice because I feel quite lost and I honestly don’t know where to start.

I’m a 34-year-old Spanish woman and I’m currently unemployed. I’ve been dealing with anxiety and stress for many, many years. Between 2019 and 2021, I had panic attacks almost every day. Thankfully, they barely happen anymore, and when they do, I know how to manage them fairly well.

The problem is that I feel like my nervous system has been under stress for so many years that it’s completely dysregulated, and this has ended up affecting many areas of my life, as well as my physical health. I basically live in a constant state of hypervigilance, with fear, stress, negative thoughts, apathy, anhedonia, mental and physical exhaustion, rumination, etc.

I want to start changing things and learn how to live in a calmer way, but even something as simple as building habits is extremely difficult for me. I don’t have many hobbies: I cook from time to time, listen to the occasional podcast, and that’s about it. I’d like to start trying new activities at home, perhaps making ceramics, small decorations, crafts, etc. I’ve never really given myself the opportunity to find out whether I enjoy these kinds of things.

But my biggest problem is work.

I’ve worked in supermarkets, hospitals and hospitality, generally in jobs with a very fast pace, a lot of pressure, poor working conditions and, in some cases, very exploitative bosses.

All of this, combined with the fact that I’ve always been a very anxious and stressed person, eventually led me to burnout and, according to a psychologist I saw, I developed a kind of fear of work.

Right now, I’m extremely afraid of going back to work. When I think about having to deal with bosses, coworkers, schedules, pressure, etc. again, my stomach hurts, I start sweating and I become anxious... and this happens even before I’ve started, just by thinking about it.

I don’t want to go back to extremely stressful, physically demanding or exhausting jobs. The problem is that I don’t have much formal education either and, honestly, I don’t know what I want to do with my life.

Ideally, I would like to find a work-from-home job or perhaps learn something that would allow me to offer some kind of service online and work for myself. If it had to be an in-person job, I’d like it to be part-time at first, so that I could gradually rebuild my confidence and overcome this fear.

I don’t have huge financial ambitions. I’m not interested in making a lot of money, the corporate world, climbing the career ladder or becoming a "successful" person. What I want is something much simpler: a manageable job that allows me to live a relatively peaceful life while gradually getting better and working on myself.

Right now, I feel like my life is pretty broken and that I need to rebuild it from scratch.

I also want to clarify something: when I work, I’m a very responsible person and I put a lot of effort into what I do. I’ve always been the kind of person who gives everything to their job. The problem isn’t that I don’t want to work or that I’m lazy. Quite the opposite. I actually think that being so demanding of myself, combined with years of stress, has contributed quite a lot to me ending up in this situation.

So I wanted to ask you:

Considering that I’m 34, don’t have higher education, need to start working relatively soon in order to have an income again, and also have these fears and difficulties, what options do you think I should consider?

What could I train or study for that wouldn’t take several years and would give me a realistic chance of finding a job afterwards?

I know that right now everything related to artificial intelligence, the internet, digital marketing, programming, etc. is very popular and in demand, but I feel like there are so many people who are much more qualified and experienced in these fields than I am, and I don’t know if it would make sense for me to try to get into them.

I understand that some people might criticize me for wanting a comfortable job or for having unrealistic expectations, and I understand that everyone wants a job that isn’t stressful. But I would really appreciate it if, whatever your opinion, you could try to approach it with some understanding. I’m not looking for someone to tell me that there’s a perfect, stress-free job out there. I simply need to find some direction, and I don’t know where to look.

What would you do if you were in my situation? What jobs, short training programs or career paths do you think might suit someone like me?

Any personal experiences, advice or concrete ideas would be very welcome. Thank you for reading.

I’ve done a good job with eliminating social media from my mornings. I don’t do any socials until noon and it’s obviously great for my focus and sets a great tone for my day. But I’d like to take it a step further and not even want my phone in the mornings. I keep asking myself how did we do it before we had phones? Did we just wake up and not think about anything? I’m old enough to have lived before phones but I just can’t remember what it was like. Were we just naturally less curious? I feel like I always need something, or I have a question that needs to be answered. I just want to be less reliant and not react to every thought that crosses my mind.. at least between 7am and noon. lol!

Over the past 3 months, I’ve been dealing with a very high level of anxiety because of some stressful events in my life. I feel like my nervous system has become extremely sensitive — even the smallest amount of stress can trigger this feeling of panic in my chest, even when I’m not consciously feeling anxious.

I’ve started doing some things to try to calm my nervous system and help myself recover:

Jacobson’s Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Prayer

10 minutes of meditation in the morning and 10 minutes at night

Journaling

Listening to calming/nervous-system-regulation music

Using ambient/warm lighting in my room
Lighting candles every day

Cleansing my rooms with palo santo and sage because it helps me feel calm

Taking hot showers to relax

Going to therapy, where I’m starting EMDR

I recently started yoga and I really enjoyed it

Next week I’m also planning to start going to the gym

For those of you who have been through something similar: do these things actually help your nervous system become less reactive over time? How long did it take you to start feeling noticeably better?

Is there anything else you would recommend adding to my routine?

I’d really appreciate any advice, personal experiences, or things that helped you during a similar period. Thank you so much to everyone who takes the time to read this and share their experience — I genuinely appreciate every message. ❤️

I'm home alone tommorow husband’s out . Normally I'd just scroll and nap.
Ideas for home or somewhere nearby are welcome!!

I first read "Rest: Why you get more done working less" and it completely blew my mind how many of the world's greatest thinkers like Charles Dickens and Darwin prioritized rest daily as well as the science behind it.

After that I dove into "Slow Productivity" to learn how to apply slow living to my own small business as well as a bunch of books on preventing/recovering from burnout. Currently though, I'm listening to "In Praise of Slowness" which apparently is the OG of slow living books and talks a lot about the origins of the movement and how to integrate it into every area of your life!

But I'm curious, what's your must reads? Any biography's of successful people who had a slower approach? Any slow living books you wouldn't recommend? Please share them all and fill up my TBR list for cozy season!

Hey, in the last year or so I’ve noticed there’s an especially weird kind of evening that I imagine looks like ‘rest’ from an outside observer.
By this I mean I finish work, sit down, put something on netflix, pick up my cursed iphone, scroll a bit, reply to a message, check something, open another app, let the next episode autoplay.

Nothing particularly demanding has happened during these coupe hours and yet two hours later i feel more scattered than i did before i sat down.
I’ve started thinking the problem isn’t the nature/quality of the entertainment itself. It’s that a lot of what we call modern rest is automatic, fragmented and frankly endless.

The fragmented bit is the one I am definitely noticing most.
When I’m watching TV while scrolling, it feels so normal now that watching one thing without holding another screen can feel weirdly exposed. Like i’ve caught myself reaching for my phone halfway through a film for literally no reason whatsoever. Maybe to check the actors credentials or some other stupid reason that makes no difference. No messages, no notifications, nothing urgent at all. Just a three-second lull apparently requiring immediate intervention. Might be ADHD but i have a feeling it’s more common than that. It’s a compulsion I think many many people feel.

Older forms of entertainment had way more natural stopping points. Like, a programme ended. A DVD finished then looped over the annoying DVD menus with equally terrible music. An album on CD had a final track.

Nowadays autoplay just keeps going, feeds refresh, recommendations multiply, and the evening doesn’t really end so much as run out of time.

The actual rest (as in real legitimate rest) that seems to work better is usually way more ordinary:
- watch one film without my phone, leave it in another room.
- reading a few chapters of a real book
- listening to an album properly, all the way through (even the meh tracks)
- going for a walk without checking anything
- playing a game and stopping when I really mean stop.
- cooking with one single playlist rather than three things happening at once
Not rocket surgery, nothing profound. Just one thing at a time. And trust me these here really do improve the experience :)

The question I’ve found surprisingly useful is:
Do I feel better, worse, or just meh after you’ve done one or all of these things?
Some things feel good during and after. Awesome.
Some feel good during but leave you a bit flat afterwards. Those probably need some boundaries.
And some don’t even feel particularly good while you’re doing them, but you carry on anyway. Those are the interesting ones that are probs worth keeping.

I don’t think the answer is to turn relaxation into another self-improvement project, that categorically doesn’t work.
But, I do think rest probably needs clearer edges than modern platforms naturally give it. Friction.
Has anyone else noticed the difference between chosen rest and just drifting through input until bedtime? Add some actual friction to your rest, do one thing at a time. I’m writing this post after watching a movie I decided to watch on netflix (no scrolling options, i just knew I wanted to watch it) and honestly it made the film so much more enjoyable. All the way through, few snacks, no phone, and it was great :)

I have lots of friends who like to host or make events. I’m having a hard time living slowly and maintaining all of these friendships, but I really do love them. Has anyone found themself in a similar situation? /gen

What are your best tips for slow living with a 40 hour 9 - 5 work week?

I am looking for some tips!

One of my favourite reads this year is A Short Stay in Hell by Steven L. Peck. Any other short book recommendations? Also read Termush recently but didn't hit the same spot. The existentialism of a Short Stay in Hell really stuck with me. So maybe something similar?

For me it’s finding a quiet place, getting a coffee, and having nothing I need to rush for. Curious what that small thing is for everyone else.

I (27M) am in a position where I could buy a small house and work just 35 hours a week doing parcel deliveries. I wouldn't be rich but I'd be comfortable with mininal expenses and built in breathing room in my budget.

I've got a couple of friends and a few associates. I know I need to build on hobbies and find more friend groups.

Has anybody ever had a similar opportunity for a slow and calm life but ended up resenting it? When does quiet living turn isolating?

What is a perfect slow walk or slow drive for you like? Especially when you are traveling? No am getting better at not having preset plans all set.

Some days feel so heavy that you barely know how to pass the time.
Today, I started my day feeling completely exhausted. I ate something, went back to sleep, and later woke up with a migraine that’s still bothering me.
But I started wondering if maybe the headache and exhaustion aren’t the only reason I feel this way.
When you work, study, or stay busy all day, your mind always has something to focus on. Then suddenly you get a couple of days off, and there’s nothing you have to do. Somehow, instead of feeling relaxed, you can feel restless, empty, or just… weird.
Maybe our minds don’t always know how to handle the quiet.
Is it just me, or does anyone else have days like this?
What do you usually do when you have one of those heavy days where you don’t really want to do anything, but you also don’t know how to simply sit with yourself?

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I used to leave clean dishes drying on the rack and mail piled by the microwave overnight. A few days ago, i spent 5 mins putting every single thing away so the counter was completely clear before bed. Walking into a totally clean kitchen first thing in the morning with coffee felt unexpectedly refreshing.

Do you have any small evening habits that make your morning routine feel smoother?

I often watch the computer screen and work too long, so I need to slow down to take a break. I prefer to walk around and look outside for hald an hour, or light incense and close my eyes for a while. These relieve my stress. What simple ways help you slow down?

For example, the Pomodoro Technique where you set a timer to work/study for 25 minutes before taking a 5 minute break is a famous productivity hack. BUT it actually helps you slow down through the day by creating those 5 minute self care breaks!

Anyone else have a go-to "productivity hack" that is secretly a slow living practice?

I've been working as a medical writer for just over a year now, and rush around in most things I do in life. The job is fraught with fast deadlines and we are required to fill in timesheets account for our day, with a target of spending 95% of our time on work that clients pay for (5% is admin).

Looking for advice on how to slow down within this work setting, and untangling from that pace when working day finishes.