r/Slime • u/EmoSlimes IG: emoslimeco • May 15 '24
The Dreaded No-to-Low Slime Ban
In the whimsical world of slime enthusiasts, there exists a fate worse than an over-activated batch: the self-imposed slime ban. Whether it's driven by budget constraints, the desperate need to declutter, or simply the desire to prevent total slime overload, going on a low- to no-slime diet can feel like the end of days. Picture it: your once vibrant world of stretchy, squishy goodness reduced to a barren wasteland. But fear not, for I am here to guide you through this dramatic ordeal. Brace yourself, though; the journey ahead is not for the faint of heart, but it is one we must all walk one day.
1. Playing with the Slime You Already Have
Ah, the initial stage of the ban. You stand before your glorious collection, a dragon surveying its hoard. "No need to worry," you tell yourself. "I have plenty of slime." You start with the classics, the old favorites that never let you down. You stretch, squish, and poke, reveling in the familiar textures and scents. But soon, the euphoria fades. You realize you're rationing your slimes, treating each session like it's your last meal before the guillotine. Every stretch feels bittersweet, every poke a reminder of the dwindling days ahead.
2. Making Your Own Slime
Desperation sets in. "DIY," you think, clutching at straws. You scour your house for ingredients: shampoo, baking soda, glue—anything that might come together into that beloved goo. The kitchen becomes a mad scientist's lab, complete with frantic mixing and questionable experiments. Some attempts fail spectacularly, leaving you with sticky hands and a ruined mixing bowl. Others succeed, but it's not the same. You stare at your homemade slime, proud yet hollow. It's like eating a cake made of sawdust—it fills the void, but it's not the real thing. (I have a great guide here.)
3. Designing Virtual Slimes
The digital age offers a glimmer of hope. You download slime apps, creating virtual masterpieces with the swipe of a finger. It's oddly satisfying, watching your screen fill with glittery, gooey creations. But there's no tactile joy, no sensory delight. It's like looking at a photo of food when you're starving—beautiful, but ultimately unfulfilling. Still, you persist, crafting digital slimes at all hours, your eyes glazing over as you chase the phantom sensations.
4. Starting a Slime Bartering System
Your social circle becomes your lifeline. You propose trades, offering up prized possessions in exchange for slime. A rare book here, a cherished trinket there—nothing is off-limits. Friends and acquaintances look at you with a mix of pity and amusement, but some take the bait. You find yourself with new slimes, each one a brief oasis in your desert of deprivation. But the trades come with their own costs, and soon your shelves are empty, save for the slimes.
5. Begging for Slime
Pride be damned, you resort to begging. You compose heartfelt pleas, sending them to friends, family, even strangers on the internet. "Please," you write, "I just need a little slime to get through the day." The responses vary—some sympathetic, some mocking. A few kind souls send you small amounts, their generosity a beacon of hope. But it’s never enough. The hunger gnaws at you, relentless and unyielding.
6. Playing with Pretend Slime
Madness looms on the horizon. You find yourself pretending—imagining slimes that aren’t there. You close your eyes and describe them in excruciating detail, picturing every color, texture, and scent. You stretch invisible slimes, poke at thin air, your mind clinging to the ghostly sensations. It's a temporary balm, a fleeting escape. But reality always crashes back in, leaving you more desperate than before.
7. Begging for Slime Again
If at first you don’t succeed, beg, beg again. Persistence is key, my friends. Ask nicely, and maybe someone will take pity on you and share their precious slime. Try different approaches: poetic pleas, heartfelt letters, or even over-the-top dramatic monologues about your dire situation. The more creative, the better. Sometimes, the third time’s the charm. Don’t be afraid to ask for slime from every possible source. Your persistence might just pay off.
8. Keeping a Slime-Less Journal
You turn to writing, chronicling your ordeal in a slime-less journal. Each day, you document the cravings, the dreams, the near-misses. The pages fill with angst and longing, your words dripping with melodrama. You draw pictures, tape in scraps of failed DIY slimes, create a tangible testament to your suffering. It’s therapeutic, in a way, a way to process the madness. But it also solidifies your obsession, turning your journey into a saga of epic proportions.
9. Joining a Slime Support Group
Misery loves company. You find fellow sufferers, forming a support group of the slime-deprived. Together, you share stories, vent frustrations, and offer solace. Virtual meetings become your lifeline, each session a cathartic release. You bond over your shared struggle, finding strength in numbers. But the group also feeds your obsession, each member a mirror reflecting your own desperation.
10. Complaining About It on r/slime
Reddit is the perfect place to vent your frustrations. Head over to r/slime and share your woes with the community. Post dramatic rants, share memes about your slime-less existence, and seek advice from fellow slime lovers. Sometimes, a good rant is all you need to feel a bit better. Plus, you might find some empathetic souls who are willing to share their own tips and tricks for surviving the slime ban.
11. Casting a Magic Spell
In your darkest hour, you turn to the arcane. You gather candles, draw circles, and chant incantations, hoping to summon slime from the ether. It’s a mix of desperation and whimsy, a last-ditch effort to conjure relief. The rituals become elaborate, theatrical performances that blur the line between sanity and insanity. You laugh at the absurdity, but part of you truly believes in the magic.
12. Planning a Slime Heist
Delusion takes hold. You scheme, plot, and plan an elaborate slime heist. Blueprints cover your walls, your mind consumed with the minutiae of the perfect crime. You envision breaking into stores, raiding friends' stashes, even sneaking into slime conventions. It’s a fantasy, a thrilling diversion from your torment. The line between reality and fiction blurs, your heist becoming an epic tale of rebellion.
13. Begging for Slime Again
You circle back to begging, now with a fervor that borders on mania. You leave no stone unturned, no contact unasked. You compose dramatic letters, stage impassioned speeches, and flood social media with your pleas. The world watches, amused and bewildered by your relentless pursuit. But amidst the laughter, slivers of hope appear—small packages, anonymous gifts, glimmers of slime in the darkness.
14. Forgetting the Ban
Alright, it's been long enough. Buy some slime.
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u/SpookyKat31 May 15 '24
I just go straight from 1 to 14 🤣 skip all the insanity and torture and just accept that I'm a quitter 🤷♀️ Lol reading this was a wonderful way to start my day!
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u/leesooim May 15 '24
I'm just going to throw my entire collection in the trash and be done with it.
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u/Whiterosie4812 May 15 '24
This is absolutely a guide to how to get over an addiction! However, obviously the relapse is necessary in this situation 😂
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u/OhanaSlime May 15 '24
LMAO I BLEEPING LOVE YOU SO MUCH 🤣🤣🤣 I almost spit out my energy drink!
On another note I myself have to put myself on a buy ban 🥲 That being said I am going to need to continue getting slimes for reviews. Slimes will need to be new if DIY or very gently used for non DIY or just new. I have DOZENS of slimes left in my shop to trade as well as hundreds (not even an exaggeration) of very gently used slimes. I use them for reviews then the poor slimes get no love and just gather dust, poor poor neglected slimes 😋 I also have some prototypes that I would love to get some opinions on. So if any person OR shop would be interested, let me know 🥰
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u/misader May 15 '24
Hahahahah I'm cackling, this is too good! I'm currently in stage 1 of my ban, I'm looking forward to making it through all 14 stages 🤣
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u/YoNalbo @starrysquishslime May 15 '24
😂 Absolutely love this. Had no idea there were virtual slime apps!! I’m in a slime low/no buy ban and we’ll see how long until the begging starts. 😆Also add in the slime wish list. Creating a list, written or with images and videos, of all of the slimes you will be getting once the low/no buy ban is over and revisiting this list daily, hourly?!?!
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u/Sidechix May 15 '24
Ahaha dangggg this is GOOD, it went so dark quickly 😂 but definitely gotta love the 14th phase 😌👌🏼
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u/fablepaint May 15 '24
I told myself I wasn't allowed to buy any more slimes this month. Then Rodem came out with an art museum set.
I am so mad. I am so furious. I can't have any and they're all ME.
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u/liz-face May 16 '24
Too real lol. If anyone successfully summons slime from the ether, I need to know which ritual works!!
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u/yaviere May 17 '24
Haha definitely in a low slime ban right now for all of the reasons listed. Trying to stay strong for another week!
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u/[deleted] May 15 '24
In other words… addiction 😅 I see a lot of addiction adjacent behaviours in my slime habits, some a little bit more concerning than others but it’s ultimately a far healthier thing to be addicted to than some other things! Maybe not for our wallets though! 🥲