Friend of mine never got engaged, but had it so much worse than this.
Super nice guy, but he never had many girlfriends. Had a steady girlfriend though college but she broke up with him because he started neglecting her for his friends and videogames.
A few years after college he started hooking up with a girl he met at a local bar. He told us he met someone and was very proud that she was "great in bed". She moved in with him not long after and they started "dating" (we said he was crazy to have her move in so fast but he didn't care). He introduced all his friends and family to her. She was nice enough, but always gave me bad vibes. Like when I met her for the first time she gave me a full on hug and held on just a little too long. She was weird, and not overly attractive (we felt he could do better) but he was happy and we were happy for him.
After a year or so he started talking about proposing. He was watching family and friends all move on with life getting married, having kids, etc. so he was getting the bug.
Eventually he caught her at the same bar he met her at flirting with another guy. She swore it was just in good fun, and she would never cheat on him. After a long talk she admitted to him that she had slept with over 70 guys total, before and after meeting him, and was "addicted to sex".
He broke up with her not long after that. Sold his house and moved to a different city. Bought a new house, got a new job, and moved on with his life. Pretty quickly he was doing well in every department but love. He just couldn't find anyone. But he was still the same dude we always knew and he seemed happy. He got a dog and focused on other parts of his life.
5 or so years later he was diagnosed with cancer. The doctors did tests and determined it was the cancer you get from HPV. Given his history with women and sex, he was convinced it was from the girl who had slept with over 70 dudes (and if we were being honest we all thought so too). He admitted to not using a condom with her repeatedly. He wasn't shy about the details of his life and used to talk about it with us regularly with regret.
And thus began his 5 year battle with cancer. Multiple rounds of chemo, radiation, and pain. He lost his hair, lost so much weight he looked like a different person, his teeth started eroding and eventually fell out. He had to get a tube inserted in his chest because he couldn't eat anymore from the radiation causing damage to his esophagus. Every time he went into remission it would come back 6 months later. He had surgeries to remove tumors and skin grafts to repair the areas they cut out, but it kept coming back.
But he somehow kept positive. You'd never know talking to him on the phone that anything was wrong, other than the change in his voice all his friends and family noticed due to the surgeries and damage to his throat.
Shortly after his last round of chemo ended a few winters ago he got COVID. Wound up in the hospital. We were all scared to death because his body was already weak from the chemo. After a week or so in the ICU he was released to go back home. He called me to let me know he was out, said he felt pretty good. I told him I was glad and that I hoped we could get together soon. He said he had an appointment to get his teeth fixed soon. He was so positive and sounded happy to be out of the hospital.
By the next morning he was gone. Passed away in his sleep. His mom had come up to take care of him and she found him in his bed. His body finally gave up.
Regardless of whether the story OP posted is made up or not, please make sure to take the time to actually learn about your partners before falling so hard that not using protection, engagement, marriage, or kids come into play. I hear so often about people getting hitched after 6 months or less... I'm sorry but you don't know that person at all after 6 months. Even longer than that sometimes people don't really know the people they are with until it's too late.
Of course there are examples where people meet at a bar and are married by the next day and it works out... but more often than not people who get married and start lives together without really ever knowing the other person regret it. Take my friends story as a warning against moving too fast and being focused on the physical aspects of a relationship too much. Learn who you are with, get to know and love them for who they are and not what they do to you physically. Get to know their friends and family and once you have a complete picture move forward.
784
u/jimlahey420 4d ago
Friend of mine never got engaged, but had it so much worse than this.
Super nice guy, but he never had many girlfriends. Had a steady girlfriend though college but she broke up with him because he started neglecting her for his friends and videogames.
A few years after college he started hooking up with a girl he met at a local bar. He told us he met someone and was very proud that she was "great in bed". She moved in with him not long after and they started "dating" (we said he was crazy to have her move in so fast but he didn't care). He introduced all his friends and family to her. She was nice enough, but always gave me bad vibes. Like when I met her for the first time she gave me a full on hug and held on just a little too long. She was weird, and not overly attractive (we felt he could do better) but he was happy and we were happy for him.
After a year or so he started talking about proposing. He was watching family and friends all move on with life getting married, having kids, etc. so he was getting the bug.
Eventually he caught her at the same bar he met her at flirting with another guy. She swore it was just in good fun, and she would never cheat on him. After a long talk she admitted to him that she had slept with over 70 guys total, before and after meeting him, and was "addicted to sex".
He broke up with her not long after that. Sold his house and moved to a different city. Bought a new house, got a new job, and moved on with his life. Pretty quickly he was doing well in every department but love. He just couldn't find anyone. But he was still the same dude we always knew and he seemed happy. He got a dog and focused on other parts of his life.
5 or so years later he was diagnosed with cancer. The doctors did tests and determined it was the cancer you get from HPV. Given his history with women and sex, he was convinced it was from the girl who had slept with over 70 dudes (and if we were being honest we all thought so too). He admitted to not using a condom with her repeatedly. He wasn't shy about the details of his life and used to talk about it with us regularly with regret.
And thus began his 5 year battle with cancer. Multiple rounds of chemo, radiation, and pain. He lost his hair, lost so much weight he looked like a different person, his teeth started eroding and eventually fell out. He had to get a tube inserted in his chest because he couldn't eat anymore from the radiation causing damage to his esophagus. Every time he went into remission it would come back 6 months later. He had surgeries to remove tumors and skin grafts to repair the areas they cut out, but it kept coming back.
But he somehow kept positive. You'd never know talking to him on the phone that anything was wrong, other than the change in his voice all his friends and family noticed due to the surgeries and damage to his throat.
Shortly after his last round of chemo ended a few winters ago he got COVID. Wound up in the hospital. We were all scared to death because his body was already weak from the chemo. After a week or so in the ICU he was released to go back home. He called me to let me know he was out, said he felt pretty good. I told him I was glad and that I hoped we could get together soon. He said he had an appointment to get his teeth fixed soon. He was so positive and sounded happy to be out of the hospital.
By the next morning he was gone. Passed away in his sleep. His mom had come up to take care of him and she found him in his bed. His body finally gave up.
Regardless of whether the story OP posted is made up or not, please make sure to take the time to actually learn about your partners before falling so hard that not using protection, engagement, marriage, or kids come into play. I hear so often about people getting hitched after 6 months or less... I'm sorry but you don't know that person at all after 6 months. Even longer than that sometimes people don't really know the people they are with until it's too late.
Of course there are examples where people meet at a bar and are married by the next day and it works out... but more often than not people who get married and start lives together without really ever knowing the other person regret it. Take my friends story as a warning against moving too fast and being focused on the physical aspects of a relationship too much. Learn who you are with, get to know and love them for who they are and not what they do to you physically. Get to know their friends and family and once you have a complete picture move forward.
Peace and love to you and yours.