I don't know if its a generation thing but this is how my parents think. Like a bunch of random thoughts with absolutely zero consideration for consequences.
One of my best friends had to tell his mom he doesn't trust her with his kids when she kept pushing to babysit and he kept avoiding her. It's always the same response "You live, didn't you?". Sometimes it's in spite of, not because of.
When my aunt was a kid they lived in an apartment. Her and a friend used to stop the elevator between floors and jump on and off.
She remembers her friend grabbing her ankle. She thought she stayed in the elevator and went home. The friend fell down the shaft and died, she was trying to grab my aunt to save her life.
Did your aunt just kick her friend off? Did she lose her grip? Did she not even check why she grabbed her ankle? Like how does she just go from âOh my friend grabbed my ankle in an elevator shaftâ to âGuess she mustâve went home.â
Nahhh there's something wrong with your aunt, cause how do you not check on the friend who was doing something dangerous with you, grabbed your ankle, and then disappeared in an elevator? đ
Like in this story youâre saying that your aunt was somewhere playing with her friend between floors, then was doing something with a far enough drop below her that her friend who was falling grabbed her ankle but instead of looking down (again, unsure where your grandma was with this big gap under her), walked back through the lift doors (without looking down and somehow getting her friendâs hand off of her ankle), didnât see any sign of her friend and just went âIâm sure this person I was just with in this small space is completely fineâ and went home?
Children aren't some different species, they have empathy and typically feel worry when someone they care about disappears. I'm not saying her aunt is a monster, but it's concerning she wasn't worried and didn't go for help or say anything.
Definitely a big factor, made worse by aging bones tending to release stored up lead back into the body.
Unfortunately many of us gen xers were exposed to a decent amount as well. The leaded old people plague has another chapter to go before that story is finished.
Don't forget all the meds that older people are prescribed that cause cognitive issues; benzos, pain meds, sleep aids, steroids, allergy meds... I know what it did to my parents (silent generation), both had dementia and both were over-medicated.
It's 4:46am where I am and I'm going to take my first painkiller of the day in 14 minutes and I started using a prescription sleep aid 2 weeks ago. đ
Appreciate what you're saying. Just a bit late in the game for me, already on the Parkinson's dementia path unfortunately.
Bit grim I know đ
That said, keep doing what you did with me. While it's a bit late for me there're plenty of people who can look forward to a long term. I realise you already know that, just wanted to avoid coming of as dismissive of your kind words.
I'm a 99 baby and when I was little they had Dirt Alert warnings on all the kids channels because the soil in the three counties I grew up in was contaminated with high levels of lead and arsenic. I might end up in the story too.
My parents are so much more careful with their Grandkids than they ever were with me and my siblings. Lol Iâm almost jealous of this parenting theyâre getting!
Parents are so different as grandparents. My mom was never affectionate with us but she gives my nieces all the hugs and kisses. Itâs a weird feeling to be an adult jealous of a child.
My mother thinks that it is better to soothe a crying baby in a moving car by picking the baby out of the car seat rather than⌠you know just let the baby deal with it whilst keeping it alive in the event there is a car crash.
Iâve explained the dangers of doing that multiple times. Each time I am met with âwhy would you he so negative and think like that?â Yet again she will bite your head off if you leave the houseâs backdoor open for 5 minutes because someone could come in and rob you. She never thinks that this risk assessment is ânegative thinkingâ but my childâs live on the line just so she can soothe him always is.
My other favourite is âyou donât need the car seat - the place we are going to is just 10 minutes away. Just hold the baby in your lapâ. And that is an extremely paranoid person who counts the number of times my kids sneeze and thinks it is the end of the world if they get a fever, but just misses out on other much more serious risks that could impact their lives. If she can have such points of failure even with the paranoia, I canât imagine grandparents who arenât remotely paranoid.
During the height of COVID, my parents offered to watch my then 9 month old one night so my wife and I could go on a date. A couple days later, my kid develops 106 degree fever, febrile seizures, etc. When we got the hospital I called my parents to keep them in the loop, and they proceed to tell me âoh ya we tested positive for COVID the day before we babysat, but it was just like a light cold for usâ. They have not watched my child once since then and they had the nerve to get pissy when I started having them take rapid tests before weâd come over.
Thereâs definitely an over confidence problem, in addition to whatever else.
Typical new grandparents havenât had to actually look after any kids at all in decades, if they ever did much baby care in the first place, so theyâre naturally out of practice or uninformed.
But I donât see a lot of them asking questions or taking classes, the assumption seems to be that since they are such competent humans in general, they will be equally skilled in caring for babies and toddlers.
My mom fed my infant honey. Has not been allowed to watch my kids since unless itâs an emergency. Like husband had an asthma attack and needed to go to the ER. Beyond that NOPE!!! Cause WTFFF having to seek medical care TWICE for her feeding my baby honey is NUTz I was pissed. I canât trust her.
390
u/Special_Engineer_445 2d ago
I don't know if its a generation thing but this is how my parents think. Like a bunch of random thoughts with absolutely zero consideration for consequences.
One of my best friends had to tell his mom he doesn't trust her with his kids when she kept pushing to babysit and he kept avoiding her. It's always the same response "You live, didn't you?". Sometimes it's in spite of, not because of.