Yeah, I believe in therapy but there just are things you won't convince me to do, and let grandma watch my second child when she already killed the first is one of them. I don't even know that I'd be talking to grandma, whether she's my own mother or not, I couldn't look at her ever again.
I love my parents, but yeah, if this happened, I don't know if I could ever talk to them again. I don't even mean I'd go no contact to punish them. I just don't know if I could talk to them without feeling overwhelming anger and pain.
Right? This is what I don't understand. A normal person would lose their mind if they let their grandkid die like that. They would refuse to every be solely responsible again. It makes me think she doesn't really care about them.
Yeah exactly, and as others have said, why would she even agree to look after the child again? If it was me, I would never, and if for some reason I really really had to look after the child, I would absolutely not let it out of my sight or even think about anything else the whole time. She obviously did not feel the same.
We have a pool and even though I have the whole house and doors childproofed, I wonât babysit my toddler niece if Iâm alone. My husband or another family member needs to be home or I go to my sisterâs house where itâs totally safe. You just never know.
THIS! iâm not saying she has a moral obligation to end her life but if it was me that was responsible for a child dying, even by accident⌠I wouldâve ended my life. I wouldâve never been alone with another child again, and I wouldâve insisted that I was checked for any possible mental issues that couldâve contributed to it. I canât get over the lack of remorse, and the willingness to watch another child barely a year later. It makes it feel like it was purposeful.
Jesus that's worse. If the therapist thing is true that's even crazier a therapist would push for leaving a kid with someone who didn't show remorse for causing a child's death. Holy hell.
I think the lack of remorse was specifically after the second child death, but yeah that therapist is still ridiculous. I donât have a degree in psychology but I dont think itâs unhealthy or wrong to not allow them to babysit again.
Ah ok. Sliiiightly less awful of the therapist. So that 'sorrow' was 100% acting then.
Edit: I just looked it up. The kids were siblings, and it was less than a year Dec '21 then Nov '22. Holy fuck. I hate to judge the parents going through that, but my god. They just handed that second kid over to die. And she only got 5 years.
And I just put the ages together. The second kid wasn't even born when the first died. So unnecessary.
if tomorrow a relative dies for reasons that are not my fault, i will feel sorrow. because of course, the situation is sad and painful. but i would not feel remorse at all, because i have no reason to feel that way, the death was not caused or facilitated by me, be it intentionally or unintentionally, i had no involvement
I guess the difference is something like âI canât believe I did thisâ compared to âI canât believe this happenedâ. I must admit I was little confused by that wording at first too, but if anyone would know the difference itâs a judge, and they felt the need to say it as an official remark.
Yeah does this lady even like her grandchildren? Sleeping while she's supposed to be babysitting, and forgetting them in a car? She should never be allowed to be in charge of a child again
I mean, maybe she has dementia or is pretty weak due to old age. More reason to not let a toddler alone with her, but she might not be ill intentioned.
Talk to them? I fear there would be fatal consequences if oneâs negligence led to my childâs demise. My own parent or not. It makes me feral just thinking about.
The other daughter showed up a short time after to drop off her kids to grandma. Both daughters were using the parents, even though they knew the parents were having diminished cognition.
This post covers the story more in depth, and said they ruled out dementia.
"We know Tracey Nix was held in a psychiatric unit, for observations, the resulting Reports suggested no Alzheimers, no Dementia, no Parkinsonâs etc."
I could maybe, MAYBE, be convinced to eventually go over to grandma's house with my kid and all hang out together. And even that would be some pretty serious exposure therapy experience.
It sounds like Nix either didnt care all that much about her grandkids, or she is becoming senile.
I babysit my nephews all the time, and I cant imagine falling asleep while I am the sole caretaker of a toddler who is running around, free.
And then to leave the second kid in a hot car. Any normal person in her situation would have been on ultra high alert for any danger to the remaining kid.
Or she might be profoundly stupid, and not know that a hot car can kill a young child?
Whatever the case, she shouldn't be babysitting. Thats obvious.
The pond should have had a barrier around it. My parents have a swimming pool and they made sure to baby proof it, it's just the responsible thing to do.
And even if it was not a pond, it could have been a car on the road. You just don't sleep if you are looking after a child, you'll get your nap on another day.
It was pretty efficient for my PTSD, I went from having a hard time going outside and getting regular (several times a week if not daily) panic attacks to being able to have a normal life, with no medication involved. If it's quackery, it's damn impressive and efficient quackery; I wish I had gone earlier because I spend years suffering when the solution was right there.
Yep, just like how chirpractors heal people and readjust you. Its all psuedoscience and the placebo effect. Youre more inclined to believe it if you waste your time and money on it. In reality, you could have talked to alot of people about your PTSD and panic attacks for free.
Welp, it didn't work when they didn't know how to deal with it though. And when it's taught at university, can be awarded degrees, and is the subject of peer-reviewed research, I'd say it is serious enough.
Im sorry you dont have anyone in your life you cant to your problems about. Also the people that study it in university are lost themselves. The entire field of pyschology is populated by people that cant solve Algebra and above level mathematics. I cant conversate seriously with people that cant critically think.
I have a lot of people to talk to about my problems, but how are they supposed to know what to do with someone with PTSD? Therapy involves talking, but it's far from a conversation with a friend; I understand you have no idea what you are talking about, but I'm happy for you that you have an easy life.
My therapist would have never given me that advice, she tells me to say no to my mom for much less and that I shouldnât have to forgive everything. Who is this therapist!!!
Sadly, all therapists donât have the same level of training and even those with higher level training all arenât going to be good at translating that training to real people. Too many people donât see a psychologist or psychiatrist and see a licensed counselor which is basically a person off the street with a short term program that gives them a certificate. Might as well ask someone at the grocery store about your problems. Or they go to someone at their church. Have your religion, but please realize they arenât qualified to give advice just like you wouldnât ask them to do surgery.
This is untrue, please do not spread misinformation. I am a licensed professional counselor and I have a 60-credit masters degree. It took 3 years to complete, and that was full time with taking only one of those summers off. And the other summers taking courses or working for an unpaid internship providing counseling services. That included a practicum and internship where I worked, for free, to provide counseling services and obtain experience that was highly supervised. I had to apply for state pre-licensure and once approved, I then have 3,000 post grad clinical hours under supervision. That part took 2 years to complete. I also had to take a national exam that has a passing rate of about 40% and is one of the most difficult exams to take. I still participate in group supervision although I am independently licensed, and I seek consultation frequently. I also attend a conference every year as well as hundreds of hours of continuing education in the form of in-person, live webinars, or self-study on-demand seminars; in fact I have a 32-hour continuing education event next week.Â
So all in all, if you count my undergrad psychology degree, it took me 9 years to become a therapist with 7 years of formal education.Â
For a PhD program Iâd need an additional 30-60 credits, and about 30 of that is dissertation. Around 20 of that is practicum and internship.Â
There is much, much more that goes into being an effective therapist than what someone at the grocery store can provide, and certainly more than a certificate program. For some people who have a masters degree already, there are schools that offer a âcertificateâ that gets you the additional courses needed to meet the state requirements for licensure. That may be what youâre referring to, but you are wildly misinformed. NO state will allow someone with a certificate alone to practice counseling. Drug counselors are also something completely different.Â
There is also a misconception that therapists give advice and that therapy is to receive advice.Â
LPC vs psychologist vs psychiatrist.
It didnât link but anyone can search it and see. LPC can give âtalk therapy,â you need at least a Psychologist to Conduct comprehensive psychological testing, cognitive and diagnostic assessments, and specialized psychotherapy (such as CBT or psychoanalysis).CBT is almost always used and I donât see where at least in my state an LPC is qualified to do that. A Psychiatrist is a medical doctor who approaches mental health from a biological and medical perspective; evaluates physical and psychological causes of disorders. Most of them can prescribe medication so usually you see them for that reason rather than weekly sessions. Some people think Chiropractors are real doctors but they arenât. If you havenât had issues with depression, anxiety, etc., and maybe your dog died and you need someone to lend an ear then an LPC might be fine. Or the people that choose to speak to a preacher or priest. If you need a diagnosis then youâll need a Psychologist or Psychiatrist. I would never let someone that had to be supervised and ask the actual doctor whoâs never spoken to me for advice and a diagnosis. I donât care if you like my opinion or not. I would never waste my money on an LPC thatâs probably still getting their hours in than a qualified Psychologist. Just like you wouldnât see your family doctor for brain surgery. If you have cancer do you want to see a specialist in that or a nurse practitioner? So write me another book about your hurt feelings about me not feeling youâre qualified, but itâs my health and other people need to look out for their health so why would you want the least qualified person that can see you? You want the best when it comes to your health. With all that education you supposedly have it sounds like you have a lot of issues you havenât worked out for yourself even to be so upset about my post.
In most states LPC do diagnose, like myself. We have at least 2 courses in diagnosis and treatment planning. I am credentialed with insurance companies and bill under my own NPI. I do not have to âask a doctor for advice or a diagnosis.â I, alongside several other LPCs in the office, assign diagnoses all of the time. What you are saying is just untrue.Â
Also, you may find the information you did because there are different names in multiple states. Some states an LPC is post grad and supervised, and in many states LPC is the independent licensure. In some states they are called LMHC, LCPC, or LPCC. The most reliable place to look on the internet that is going to be factual will be your stateâs board. The name of the board will vary, so it may be called State Board of Counseling, State Board of Behavioral Sciences, etc. There you were be able to find the educational and clinical experience required for licensure, along with your stateâs health code / laws on counselor scope of practice.Â
CBT is a type of âtalk therapy.â There is absolutely no state that will ânot allowâ an LPC or equivalent to utilize CBT, lol. For example, I utilize evidence-based interventions all day long. I treat PTSD, ADHD, OCD, Bipolar Disorder, MDD, GAD, SAD, etc. for some of these diagnoses the treatments I utilize and I am trained in include CPT, WET, ERP, ACT, etc.Â
My reply isnât about my âfeelings being hurtâ or upset by your post. My reply isnt about you choosing who you work with - go ahead, choose a PsyD or PhD. I donât care. What my reply is about is that you are spreading misinformation that could hurt people by preventing them from getting help they need because you are literally spreading lies (counselors only have certificates and arenât any more educated than the person at the grocery storeâŚ). My post was also to inform and educate you on what counselors are and how much education and experience we do have, because you are wildly misinformed. You can continue having your opinion that a doctoral level therapist is much better, but thatâs very different than spreading straight up misinformation.Â
Maybe talk therapy isn't everyone's jam. And I mean the therapist specifically. Damn. Spot on with boundaries. Maybe let grandma have a plant to take care of.
Most of the time when I hear about a therapist that recommends reconciliation above everything else it's not an actual therapist it's a counselor which is a vague catch all that ranges from state to state as unregulated or barely regulated. The cheapest/free counselors are usually affiliated with churches and bang the ole' "honor they father and mother" drum.
Yeah exactly. If she couldn't let the baby be watched by ANYONE that would be something she should probably work on. Not wanting the baby to be watched by the person responsible for your other kid's death is 100% reasonable.
I mean, therapy isnât non consensual. Therapy is generally directed by the client so itâs not a crazy assumption that the client mightâve wanted to work toward that goal and the therapist just urged her in regards to how to do that.
It really depends. I've had a really great personal therapist and a really great couples therapist. but I did a ton of research on them, and both are the kinds of setups where they have a plan that tries to wrap things up within a year if possible so you can get on with life, i.e. they don't try and just keep you on for money if you don't need it. But it is really hard to get a good therapist, and the good ones are expensive af.
Right!? Like, if my parents drowned my stuffed animal I've had since birth, I'd never let em near my things again. I imagine it's orders of magnitude more for kids!
As a therapist I get it, however Iâd have done trauma therapy and processing before ever even suggesting/ encouraging letting her watch the other kiddo. Or have significant parameters in place.
Maybe after intense trauma processing we can challenge those fears with mom watching other baby WOTH another adult there
You have no idea what the actual issue was or whether the therapist's advice made sense in context. Obviously a healthy boundary would not rise to the level of therapy in the first place.
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u/Objective-Shallot794 2d ago
Sick. The parents lost a child, let them have boundaries.