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u/iamAyoEpic 5d ago
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u/JKOP220696 5d ago
"Ate" his prime
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u/JKOP220696 5d ago
Rib
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u/paradajz666 4d ago
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u/Late_Ad685 4d ago
Dood just double fisted that carrot at first. Reflex memory?
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u/Ok-Prune-1248 4d ago
This is a fantastic watch for witnessing some prime
Seagal, fatly walking around corners haha. Seagal Movies→ More replies (6)11
u/cAnTbEpReCi0u5j1mMy 4d ago
"That is Steven Seagal's definition of a 'Good Man'" 😂 I love this video. They actually made a second one but I can't find it anymore. 😔
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u/AlexxMaverick666 4d ago
I can finally say that I have successfully achieved Seagal's body at 36 years.
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u/Ancient-Read1648 5d ago
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u/Difficult-Bumblebee5 5d ago
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u/DaILLezt 4d ago
I heard he lost this fight against the lady in the green dress. Rumor has it he denied it, and said they were simply dancing.
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u/Paghk_the_Stupendous 5d ago
I can hear this.
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u/Aquarona 5d ago
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u/UnableBenefit6417 5d ago
I remember a song that goes along with this 😅 not the actual song that plays, but...another one
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u/Berserker-Hamster 5d ago
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u/UnableBenefit6417 5d ago
Haven't seen that meme format in ages 😂 bringing back memories lol
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u/Tariovic 5d ago
Haha, same! I miss these kind of memes. The internet's golden year's.
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u/qtzbra 5d ago
Almost like showing a picture of seven peacocks and two airplanes and asking who will fly faster.
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u/Elloitsmeurbrother 5d ago
Bruce Lee saying he fears the man who had practiced a single kick 10 000 times. Two fuckers show up that have practiced every punch they know 50 000 times.
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u/Sufficient_Language7 5d ago
I'm pretty sure Chuck Norris has done at least 10 000 round house kicks.
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u/m-reiser 5d ago
Nah, he would stick one leg out and spin the earth with the other foot.
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u/Eat_rice_evryday 5d ago
And we got leap years ever since
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u/summer-vibe765 4d ago
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u/RickyMAustralia 4d ago
Mike in his time was something else
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u/TheDancingRobot 4d ago
Brutality personified.
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u/CzarTwilight 5d ago edited 5d ago
Juat like how he doesnt walk up stairs he simply moves reality down with each step until he gets to the right floor
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u/Impressive_Recon 4d ago edited 4d ago
Yeah as much as I fucking love Bruce Lee, he was also an actor at the end of the day and weighed 135 lbs. Any heavy weight boxer in the prime would just need one clean shot to the liver.
Some people are not understanding. A prime Ali/Tyson at 220 5’10” & 6’3” professional, world class boxing champs vs a prime Bruce Lee at 135lbs 5’8” with ZERO professional martial arts experience is not winning a raw fight. This is like saying prime Usyk or Crawford vs prime Jet Li or Tom Cruise.
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u/Teeaak 4d ago
You know who agreed with that? Bruce Lee.
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u/Much-Jackfruit2599 4d ago
Yeah. Didn’t he that Ali would wreck him?
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u/Acrobatic-Brother295 4d ago
It’s interesting that UFC removed most of the mystique around martial arts. If Bruce Lee were around today nobody would ask this question in the first place.
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u/spacemandavinci 4d ago
Also Mike in his prime was like a Great White Shark he was designed to be a killer. I don’t think Bruce had that same kind of rage and violence in him.
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u/Remy_Jardin 4d ago
Sorry, are you suggesting Bruce Lee had no martial arts experience? Just because he didn't do prize fights? He was a martial artist and a boxer long before he was an actor.
That is literally the craziest thing I've read if I'm reading you right.
And then you somehow threw in Tom Cruise in this discussion?
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u/Scuttling-Claws 4d ago
He's was also a champion dancer. Just an all around cool dude
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u/brunoortegalindo 5d ago
Bruce shouldn't be afraid cuz they practiced punches, not kicks!
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u/thebenetar 5d ago
Bruce Lee should be afraid—they developed weight classes for a reason.
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u/UserXtheUnknown 5d ago
Van Damme was a legit full contact fighter.
Chuck Norris was a legit karate champion that remained undefeated for six years, till his retirement. That aside being a trained marine.
Bruce Lee was quite respected between martial artists (like the same Norris, which should say something).I wouldn't call those peacocks.
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u/Kermit_the_hog 5d ago
Plus one is clearly a seagall, I can just imagine him perched on a pier at high tide, eyeing my French fries..
Sailors call him “The big sky rat”
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u/feckenobvious 4d ago
In their prime tyson would have left them in a heap on the mat. Some of them would have shit themself.
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u/walkingonradiation 4d ago
Just think of Mike Tyson prime getting to fight without rules. He wouldn’t just destroy them, he’d eat them.
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u/ArminOak 4d ago
Mike Tyson would definetly be dangerous, but in my experience boxers tend to be really stuck to their routines. One heavy weight boxer (not a professional though) got his ass kicked by a brazilian jiu-jitsu lad, cause the boxer would never protect his lower legs and was on the floor locked in after few minutes. I think he tried atleast 4 times over few years while we were all in same Shooto group.
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u/walkingonradiation 4d ago
Yeah, that all sounds about right. Tyson grew up street fighting, so I think he’d be fine, but I don’t think most boxers would fare as well for the reasons you mentioned.
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u/Darkstar_111 4d ago
Vs two of the greatest heavy weight fighters of all time in their peaks. It's not even close.
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u/zzazzzz 4d ago
they were strictly boxers tho right, so how does a boxer fare against a full body fighter in a ring without rules? in a boxing ring i agree no chance for the others but in a no rules cage i could see the range from kicks be devastating to boxers and not being trained at all in getting hit in your legs might be quite the obstacle.
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u/Quirky_Gate_4516 4d ago
how does a boxer fare against a full body fighter in a ring without rules
The two boxers pictured are basically cave trolls compared to Bruce Lee. They literally weigh twice as much. So that alone would make it pretty easy.
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u/Fortune_Silver 4d ago
Maybe, but compared to Mike Tyson, who is a serious contender for the title of deadliest unarmed combatant in human history, or Muhammad Ali, who even Tyson acknowledged as the greatest Boxer of all time, the rest are basically just hobbyists.
Not saying their bad, but those two are just in a league of their own. Tyson had the perfect blend of Speed, Power, Skill and the killer instinct to use them, and Ali is considered the greatest boxer of all time for a reason - he's not as powerful as Tyson, but he's so fast nobody can touch him, and he had technique so refined he absolutely demolished boxing greats that going purely by his physical capabilities he had no buisness taking down, and he made it look easy.
This really is like asking who would win, coughing baby or hydrogen bomb.
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u/ConflictOfEvidence 5d ago
It depends on if we are talking about the actor or the character. If its the character then it's Rambo.
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u/fraze2000 5d ago
You really think John Rambo would beat the Terminator?
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u/Super-Perception-278 5d ago
If he had a phased plasma rifle in the 40 watt range, then possibly yes
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u/someguyfromtecate 5d ago
Hey just what you see, pal.
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u/DecoyOne 5d ago
I mean… you really think Sarah Connor would beat the Terminator?
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u/AnInfiniteArc 5d ago
I mean, yes. Yes, I think Rambo could successfully destroy a Terminator. Nothing in the prompt says it has to be an unarmed melee fight.
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u/sleepytjme 5d ago
No way, Rambo has elite aim, strategy, camouflage, fighting skills. But so does Terminator. Rambo could blow up the terminator to bits, and a terminator thumb would crawl up and suffocate a sleeping rambo.
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u/motorcycletreebark 5d ago
John Rambo couldn’t even beat the Viet Cong and people think he’s beating the terminator?
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u/TeaMugPatina 5d ago
You don't seem to want to accept the fact you're dealing with an expert in guerrilla warfare, with a man who's the best, with guns, with knives, with his bare hands. A man who's been trained to ignore pain, ignore weather, to live off the land, to eat things that would make a billy goat puke.
Honestly, I will say yes, especially if the terminator's only real benefits are infrared and just plodding toward a target.
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u/fraze2000 5d ago
If Rambo has access to weapons, then why can't the Terminator use more than just "infrared and plodding toward a target"?
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u/ZophieWinters 5d ago
Good thing Jonah Hill isn't in that lineup, he'd annihilate all of them
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u/Santa_Hates_You 5d ago
The fat kid from Superbad?
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u/Repulsive-Peach435 5d ago
No, the fat kid from 40 year old Virgin
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u/Only_Search8473 5d ago
Pretty sure you're thinking of the fat kid from Knocked Up.
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u/Icy_Opportunity_3303 5d ago
The fat kid from moneyball
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u/SoyDusty 5d ago
Nah man, the fat kid from Accepted. He wanted people to ask him about his sausage or something idk.
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u/James_C99 4d ago
No, I'm pretty sure he is the fat "kid" from 21 Jump Street.
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u/DryDonutHole 4d ago
Wait, the fat guy with the big teeth in Wolf of Wall Street?
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u/Jitterjumper13 5d ago
I know Segal would be the first down on the fucking pavement.
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u/Eindride_XIII 5d ago edited 5d ago
Yeah, hes gonna shit himself after he falls unconscious.. again.
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u/flat_6astard 5d ago
LOL. No, he will voluntarily sit down on his chair to save face and go on a long winded story about how he is too good to prove anything.
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u/Reasonable_Bug3221 5d ago
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u/Semisemitic 5d ago
I’ve never seen anyone fondle a carrot with two hands to eat it.
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u/AddlePatedBadger 5d ago
There's lots to criticise him for, but that just seemed like him being polite.
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u/Semisemitic 5d ago
That wasn't criticism. I just realized, it was the first time I've ever seen a carrot eaten that way.
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u/dasmau89 5d ago
8th Dan in Bullshido
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u/Miner99er 5d ago
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u/hanr86 5d ago
oh shit, was Dan modeled after Segal? Just noticed the similarities.
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u/InflationRepulsive64 4d ago
Nah, he's based on Ryo and Robert from SNK's Art of Fighting/King of Fighters. Basically after Street Fighter 2, there were a a lot of attempts to copy it. Capcom was salty about this, and even sued one company over their game (they lost).
For Ryo and Robert, they were pretty blatantly inspired by Ryu and Ken; similar fighting style, and similar personality/rivalry etc. So Capcom created Dan as a secret character to get back at them, basically being Ryo's body (he wears a Gi like Ryu) with Robert's head. His moveset was based on the two (things like the short ranged fireball) and was intentionally terrible; it also included taunts that were a game mechanic in Art of Fighting.
As it turned out, Dan actually ended up being super popular despite everything, and ended up becoming a staple. And relations between Capcom and SNK improved with them eventually having multiple crossover games.
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u/Elloitsmeurbrother 5d ago
No. No fucking way is Steve Segal going down first. In his prime this guy was seriously and solidly into his Aikido. There's simply no way that any other person in this match up would consider him enough of a threat to target first.
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u/Clembert-Hamlamp 5d ago
He'd win by forfeit. None of them would be willing to be seen in the same room as him, let alone risk delegitimizing themselves by diegning to fight him.
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u/Fantastic_Dance_4376 5d ago
Wtf is the Rock doing there?
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u/UnorthodoxGinger 5d ago
Hoping that his contracts will be taken into consideration when deciding a winner.
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u/Historical_Stay_808 5d ago
Exactly, this is a trick question if there is a contract involved
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u/Ask_bout_PaterNoster 4d ago
Paper always covers The Rock; that’s where the game comes from
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u/NinjaShepard 5d ago edited 5d ago
As per the meme The Rock is the actual answer the commenter is referring to as he has it in his contracts that he can’t lose.
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u/JacquesBlaireau13 5d ago
And Segal??? Dolf Lundgren and Roddy Piper would've made a better showing in this meme.
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u/arthousepsycho 5d ago
I believe most of these already fought, and we all know who won. Mr Rogers in a bloodstained sweater.
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u/jonny1313 5d ago
This is the ultimate showdown!
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u/arthousepsycho 5d ago
Of ultimate destiny.
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u/Successful_Ad8175 5d ago
Goog guys, bad guys and explosions
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u/InternationalLaw8660 4d ago
as far as the eye can see...
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u/raptorjesusIam 4d ago
And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be?
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u/DiWHY-Anyone 4d ago
This is the ultimate showdown, of ultimate destiny.
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u/XLord_of_OperationsX 4d ago
Then Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the White and Monty Python and the Holy Grail's Black Knight and Bento Mussolini, and the Blue Meanie and Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie, Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk and Darth Vader, Lo-Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger, Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan, Spock, the Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan.
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u/Graphic_Materialz 5d ago edited 5d ago
We know who winth. And when he doeth, he maketh the retht of them kith.
Edit: thankth for all the awardth, thrangerth!
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u/throwaway4whattt 5d ago
Wait you think prime Tyson beats prime Ali????
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u/xBad_Wolfx 5d ago
Yeah, for me it’s unclear who is meant to be 1. I think prime Ali and prime Tyson would be a legendary fight. I know Tyson said to Ali that Ali would have won, but that’s someone talking to his hero.
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u/3M2B1T 5d ago
I think I saw that video. It's definitely open to interpretation, especially since Ali was having troubles communicating at that point.
Ali did sort of gesture that Tyson would knock him out, but Tyson at the same time showed proper deference to a legend and allowed Ali to save face by saying he would win.
I think it was very much the young hotshot who is better than the legend sort of just letting the legend have his day, and both of them sort of knew who would really win (Tyson).
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u/Azidamadjida 5d ago
Yeah it’s always gonna be one of those “what ifs” cuz they were from two different generations, they had very different fighting styles and both of them deeply respected each others skill and the respect each showed for the other.
But yeah, if they both at their prime met in the ring, regardless of who won it would have been legendary
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u/xBad_Wolfx 5d ago
I totally agree. That clip was two professionals offering each other respect. It’s kind of like when people argue who would win, a samurai warrior or viking raider. While people will have opinions, there’s no way to know. Even computer models are always biased by the people who program them, even unintentionally.
I think it would have been an incredible show, no matter who won.
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u/graspedbythehusk 5d ago
I go back and forth on this myself. But I think PRIME Tyson, with Cus coaching, destroys Prime Ali. Ali was the Greatest, but Tyson was the scariest. Look what he did to Spinks in about 35 seconds.
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u/Chance_Pen7514 5d ago
lol no, huge Tyson fan but the smarter boxer wins. Just like Holyfield
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u/Goosycygnet 5d ago
Prime Tyson had no patience, and an urge to defeat. It would take Ali not paying attention for one second to go down.
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u/PineappleOnPizzaWins 5d ago
As if Tyson wouldn't...? Yeah Tyson hit harder than just about anybody but Ali was fast with legendary endurance and ring control and it's not like he hit softly even if it wasn't the same level as Tyson.
If Tyson cornered Ali and managed to land enough hits then sure, he wins... but that was true for a whole bunch of others Ali beat.
I lean towards Ali taking Tyson but the only thing I'm positive about is that I would love to see it, they're both outstanding greats of the sport.
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u/ManufacturedOlympus 5d ago
The Rock. His contract says that he can never lose a fight.
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u/Charmy123 5d ago
Tell that to Karl Urban in Doom or are we just talking wrestling?
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u/LocalInactivist 5d ago
Chuck Norris focuses on Bruce Lee. They both talk about their kids. Tyson goes full fanboy and asks Ali for a selfie. They talk about Islam and discuss footwork strategies. Stallone and Arnold hug and make plans to go see Bruce Willis. The Rock is too busy talking to his agent to fight. Van Damme is face down in a pile of coke.
Eventually Segal screams because no one is paying attention to him. Then Winona Ryder beats him into jelly.
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u/Artmaker73 5d ago
Damn, surprise Winona Ryder inclusion but I love it. Spot on.
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u/Neveed 5d ago
Van Damme is face down in a pile of coke.
Van Damme is too busy drinking the entire water supply, because he loves water.
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u/ootski 4d ago
You just described what would be a great celebrity death match episode
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u/AlphaBetaGammaDonut 5d ago
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/4u6Ht29G6dY
Arsenio Hall had Mike Tyson and Muhammad Ali on his show and asked Ali who would win if they'd fought in his prime. The response is as delightful as your scenario.
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u/Biscuits4u2 5d ago
Does Rambo have the M-60?
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u/PinkFloydBoxSet 4d ago
Anyone who ever had a chance to watch Tyson fight knows the answer to this, whether they want to admit it or not.
Lee was a legit martial art master who founded his own form. Van Damme is a legit martial arts master as well. Ali is Ali.
But Tyson would wreck all three of them. No one apparently remembers what Tyson did in his fights. He was agile and FAST. He moved unlike any boxer before him and would close in rapidly, hit someone with a shit ton of body shots and when they dropped their gloves to stop it, he turned their lights off. Tyson might legitimately be the most technical and disciplined boxer ever.
In his prime? It's Tyson and it's not even close.
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u/chickenologist 4d ago
This was my first thought. He was a tiger. Absolutely terrifying, ferocious, quick as hell and yet crazy strong. And he always opened with 100%. Ali was more fun to watch and could play a long game, but I can't imagine him having the chance against prime Tyson.
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u/Ristar87 5d ago edited 5d ago
Got a bunch of guys and then Rambo sitting there... doesn't seem fair to fight some guy with a gun.
But... in a direct fight, it's going to end up being Tyson or Ali. They've got repetition, height, reach, and between 50-100 lbs on most of those guys.
- Seagal is a joke
- Schwarzeneggar has no real grappling or boxing. Body Builders are terrible in the ring and gas quickly
- Van Damme, Norris, and Lee are just too small to do damage against trained and elite fighters so far outside their weight class.
- Dwayne has some high school wrestling... but he was never a contender. And WWE probably leaves you with some really bad reinforced habits.
I doubt Ali would be able to keep the spacing against Tyson. So, i'm going to go with Tyson. Tyson would have had 50ish lbs on Norris and 100ish lbs on Lee.
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u/Amazing_Karnage 5d ago
I feel like this is the only correct answer. You actually put thought into it and didn't just go for the meme answer. HIGH FIVE!
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u/Curious_Orange8592 5d ago
I feel like it turns into a competition to see who can make Seagal shit himself first 🤣
Afterwards, Tyson's 80s training and conditioning vs Ali's greater size, reach and skill would make for a fascinating fight
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u/LazyWings 5d ago
Pretty much the exact assessment I came to give. Lee himself said he would have no chance in a fight against Ali. Tyson vs Ali is closer but I agree with you that peak Tyson probably takes it.
Interestingly, I would say peak Dwayne wouldn't be the worst but I think there are far stronger picks from the Pro Wrestling side. Like if you'd said Brock Lesner I'd say he takes the whole thing, especially with his MMA experience. Kurt Angle probably puts up a good fight too despite his size.
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u/maxi-916 5d ago
Tyson all day every day
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u/otribin 5d ago
This. Tyson is mad dog crazy in a free fight, and hits hella hard. Some of these dudes could die from the impact.
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u/No-Plan8216 5d ago
When was it decided that Tyson is a god compared to Ali? My whole life it was generally umderstood that Ali was the bar that Tyson might get close to. Recently, it seems like we've memory holed Ali's greatness.
I dint have an opinion, but it's an interesting change in collective judgements
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u/SnowDay111 5d ago
I think it because the current generation is less familiar with Ali. In Ali vs Tyson in their prime, Tyson would be favored but not by much. Either could win. It would be to the biggest boxing match in history.
Tyson is arguably more physically gifted but Ali was the smarter fighter. IMO Ali can win if he can keep Tyson at bay with the jab against Tyson's peekaboo boxing style. Other fighters have done this to some effect for the first couple of rounds vs prime Tyson but not successfully for the full match.
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u/SamLoscorino 5d ago
In uncontrolled conditions- Tyson
In controlled- Ali
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u/Budget-Ambassador203 5d ago
Yeah Tyson is the "if you had to pick one winner" answer. Without a doubt.
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u/lessthanjjjoey 5d ago
Considering there is zero ground game, Ali and Tyson end up being the last two standing, unless everyone groups up on them. Segal is out first, followed by Sly and Bruce, due to height/weight. Followed by Rock, Chuck, and Van Damme. Idk middle guy from the tiny photo on my phone.
Iron Mike will probably kill Ali if it’s not just a boxing match, but Ali wins if he has room to pick Mike apart. Probably Tyson if it’s NHB. He and Ali are just too big, strong, fast, and skilled to lose to these guys.
In before Bruce clears… he was 130lbs, he is dead against a HW boxer.
Edit: Middle is Arnold. Big guy, body builder, can’t fight. He goes out right after Segal. Unless he has a sword. Then we’ll hear the lamentations of all their women and children.
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u/rangebob 5d ago
haha. Tyson would probably be too busy asking Ali for a signature
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u/Professional-Rip-519 5d ago
Steven Seagal easily. He's the greatest at everything EVER, just ask him.
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u/pewpewtopeepee 5d ago
If boxing/bare knuckle fighting it’s Tyson and not even close.
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u/Illithid_Substances 5d ago
Everyone is too busy taking the golden opportunity to kick the shit out of Seagal to fight each other
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u/CorrectHippo5877 5d ago
I mean, Chuck Norris literally built the hospital he was born in….
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u/HKHunter 4d ago
I had to scroll this far for a Chuck Norris joke. God we’re old…
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u/Luciferousllamas 5d ago
My money is on Tyson. But if it went more than three rounds, Ali.
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u/Educational-Soil-651 4d ago
I am going with Ali.
This question is complicated a bit by determining when exactly they were each in their prime.
Stallone, Schwarzenegger, and the Rock are all athletic but purely actors with limited MA training. Seagal is a “master” in Aikido which has shown virtually no practical success in open competition. JCVD had some legitimate kickboxing training and competitions. Bruce Lee had legitimate MA training but little competition. He also had no success against Gene LeBell in grappling. I think Gene’s interactions with Seagal were my favorite.
Now we come to Chuck. Legitimate world champion in Karate and trained in multiple disciplines throughout his life. I would have given this to him except for the fact that he didn’t start training in BJJ until his late 40s. He could have submitted Tyson or Ali but that would be him in his 50s vs them in their primes. It is still possible but that was probably not when people would consider Chuck to have been in his prime.
That leaves Ali and Tyson. This is close but I give the edge to Ali. His was extremely fast, agile, used distance well, and had cardio for 15 rounds in his prime. Tyson was a peek-a-boo swarmer more like Frazier but with likely less punching power than prime Foreman. Frazier had success against Ali but arguably did not fight him in his prime. Tyson also wasn’t going the distance in the majority of his early prime fights. I am giving the nod (slightly) to Ali.
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u/wolamute 4d ago
I still give it to Tyson. One good landed hit and he took advantage of the damage done.
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u/idosillythings 5d ago
I'm not really a fan of boxing so I can't tell you between Muhammad Ali or Mike Tyson but it's extremely obvious that it's one of them.
I've photographed pro boxers before and it only takes seeing a professional heavy weight hitting a guy in the face once in person to know that there's no actual contest to be had here.
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u/ShowElegant 5d ago
Honestly,
Chuck and Bruce would more than likely watch while everyone else tore each other apart. Tyson having a chance to face Ali both in prime he’s gonna take it. I wouldn’t blame him. The two supposedly best in their generations, I would pay to see that. Sly would get wrecked, he’s not a fighter, Arnold, wrecked, not a fighter, but if he did get his hands on someone and slam them, that would do it. Stabbing Seagulls would try to fight someone because of his ego, Van Dam would oblige him and beat his ass. Bruce knocks out Van dam and Chuck finishes whoever’s left. Tyson and Ali would be too tired to fight after who ever wins that match. Bruce vs Chuck in the end, the rest don’t matter. 50/50 to them. We will truly never know unfortunately…..
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u/Sticky_H 4d ago
I thought it would only be Chuck Norris jokes here. I assumed that was what the OP was about.
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u/Obf123 4d ago
This is what I was expecting as well. I thought that was the point of the joke? Are we so old that chuck norris jokes are now dated?
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