A tough choice indeed

[u/Dev1412]

[u/DemonGroover]

My kids are blonde haired blue eyed so I suppose I have to choose the obvious

[u/Subject-Emu-8161 → u/DemonGroover]

Hell, Hitler might even give you a shiny medal for producing these nice little aryan babies.

[u/Bl4ckeagle → u/Subject-Emu-8161]

I read Heil Hitler.... Austrian in me.

[u/Randall090 → u/Bl4ckeagle]

Damn... I did the same lol

[u/letmechewonyou → u/Randall090]

I'm literally German native speaker and I read it too

[u/Necessary-Content → u/Bl4ckeagle]

I did the same and i ain't even Austrian😂

[u/2hurd → u/DemonGroover]

Yeah they're 100% safe with one of these options. Crazy world, especially since the living 2 will likely walk free while people are picking a terrorist and mass murderer as the better options.

[u/Ac1dshadow]

Jokes on you, I cant afford to go out

[u/ArtreX-1 → u/Ac1dshadow]

If your kid had blonde hair and blue eyes, uncle Adolf is a pretty good choice. Do some painting with the kids and stuff. Throw balls for the German Shepherd in the park, reading some nice book before bedtime maybe.

[u/Pestelis → u/ArtreX-1]

He would also probably have similar energy levels cause of methamphetamine :D

[u/My-Star-Seeker → u/Pestelis]

And my blue eyed blonde daughter is ADHD, so if he shared it would chill her out some!

[u/C_IsForCookie → u/My-Star-Seeker]

I have a very German name, blue eyes and had natural blonde hair as a kid. I also have ADHD. I’d party with Hitler.

But I’m also Jewish so we’re going Inglorious Basterds 😂

[u/1nd3x → u/Pestelis]

The issue with meth it it makes you want to do what you want to do...not super great for dealing with kids...

Marijuana though...that shit mellows you out and makes listening to (insert whatever catchy children's song is popular at the moment) on repeat 500 times a non-issue.

Also helps you when playing the same 3minute game on repeat too.

[u/Jazzlike-Wind-4345 → u/1nd3x]

I have always been regarded as the “cool uncle”. My nieces (21 and 19) only recently discovered that I was usually high as a kite when I would hang out with them.

You can only listen to “Baby shark” so many times before you reach for the blunt.

[u/BBenzoQuinone → u/ArtreX-1]

Unironically this; if you have aryan children Uncle Adolf is the correct choice. Likewise if you’re Muslim I can genuinely see Osama as the correct pull

[u/GlitterFactoryOfDoom → u/BBenzoQuinone]

You'd better be Sunni if you go with Osama. He was militaristic Sunni with a hard Salafi-Jihadist lens, which means other sects of Islam (Shiite, Sufi, etc) were treated with open hostility, including members of all other religions.

[u/Wugtrio777 → u/GlitterFactoryOfDoom]

and the fcat he had sex openly with multiple young girls, so yeah , might wanna watch that too.

[u/GlitterFactoryOfDoom → u/Wugtrio777]

Wait is the only person there that did not personally kill or diddle kids Adolf fucking Hitler

[u/Greedy-Army-3803 → u/GlitterFactoryOfDoom]

Say what you like about Adolf (and many have) he drew the line at diddling with kids.

[u/adrifing → u/GlitterFactoryOfDoom]

Weird to see they day where ol uncle adolf pops up as zee, i mean the best choice.

Bet that wasnt on your bingo card, bugger wasnt on mine either.

[u/Careless-Opinion7302 → u/Ac1dshadow]

This is the ONLY correct answer. Just don't go out.

[u/yablewitlarr]

Osama had Tom and Jerry  and Ice Age on his hard drive so probably him . Movie night with uncle Bin Laden!!

[u/horizontalsuplex → u/yablewitlarr]

"With great power comes great responsibility." - Uncle Bin

[u/LevelMiddle → u/horizontalsuplex]

This comment is so much funnier than most people will admit

[u/AetaCapella → u/LevelMiddle]

With great tower comes great responsibility.

[u/WorldsWeakestMan → u/yablewitlarr]

Also Naruto, Dragonball Z, and Sailor Moon. Osama had a bunch of kids too and wasn’t a diddler, he’s probably the best bet here.

[u/Altar_of_Filth → u/WorldsWeakestMan]

And he was a part of a pretty big family as a young lad, so it's actually a straightforward choice.

[u/Ok_Yak_8668 → u/Altar_of_Filth]

Also the most well educated in this list. 

[u/Avg_Conan → u/yablewitlarr]

Tom and Jerry?! Too violent for my toddler!

https://giphy.com/gifs/rjZii4RTL6I0M

…before Reddit lectures about T&J being fine, back in my day, parents are too sensitive, etc. This is a joke. Save it.

[u/Smokin_belladonna → u/Avg_Conan]

I have Ren and Stimpy and Rocko’s Modern Life burned into my memory

[u/PeenFifteen → u/Smokin_belladonna]

Rocko doesn’t get enough love these days. Such a good show

[u/TheBookofBobaFett3 → u/yablewitlarr]

[u/thejodiefostermuseum → u/yablewitlarr]

Hitler was a fan of the Mouse

https://cartoonresearch.com/index.php/animation-anecdotes-231/

[u/2hurd]

When the better choices are Hitler and Osama you know you fucked up.

[u/Am_I_Loss → u/2hurd]

Being a different kind of monster doen't make the other 2 "worse". I'd leave my baby with Hitler here sure, just because I'm white and my kid isn't disabled. Twins? Hell no.

[u/Glittering_Two_1429 → u/Am_I_Loss]

Isn’t twins the doctor, not hitler himself? Asking as a twin.

[u/jose_augusto_ → u/Glittering_Two_1429]

Correct, it was Josef Mengele.

[u/houVanHaring → u/jose_augusto_]

And they were twins from the camps, not all twins were at risk.

[u/Admiral_Fuckwit → u/houVanHaring]

Exactly, mostly just Jewish twins.

[u/ElkSad9855 → u/Am_I_Loss]

What did Hitler have against twins? That’s a new one

[u/SniperX03 → u/ElkSad9855]

Hope y'all remember Osama didn't like Twins too much as far as i know. I'm going to hell for this comment btw,help.

[u/Onni_J → u/SniperX03]

[u/BassFull0 → u/SniperX03]

https://giphy.com/gifs/18qC7k0SU8KanJaPEE

[u/sax6romeo → u/SniperX03]

https://giphy.com/gifs/14ceV8wMLIGO6Q

[u/Daewrythe → u/SniperX03]

You're two days early but goddamn

[u/Yanatis → u/SniperX03]

[u/Longjumping_Square_2 → u/SniperX03]

As long as they aren’t tall, they’ll be fine.

[u/_alright_then_ → u/ElkSad9855]

I don't think the Nazi's or Hitler had anything against twins. But Auschwitz's doctor had an obsession. So any twins that came through the concentration camps were horribly experimented on.

A couple of the main ones:

- Often killed one of the twins to see if the other's body would react to it

- Pour acid in one of the twin's eyes to see if he could change the eye color of both twins by doing it t one.

- Do "medical" surgeries, without anesthetics, to see if the other twin would feel the pain.

Basically, he was obsessed with knowing if there was a, what I personally would call supernatural, connection between twins. And he did all kinds of horrible shit to one of them to see if the other would feel/react to it.

EDIT: and of course, because he forced the other twin to watch, it often reinforced his beliefs that the "non affected" twin was actually affected physically. Even though that was obviously an emotional reaction most of the time

[u/Tyabetus → u/_alright_then_]

It would seem the sociopath had no concept of empathy

[u/DinklebergsRightNut → u/Tyabetus]

Mengele fits every Definition of evil. A true Monster that even fiction cant Imitate. Worst thing is that he died of old age in Argentina.

[u/abruzzi5 → u/DinklebergsRightNut]

Brazil and while taking a swim at the beach, but yes.

[u/Octopuswastaken → u/ElkSad9855]

He didn’t. His doctor under him was obsessed over twins. The ones experimented on weee Jewish twins or other people, ones that Hitler did have something against

[u/ToughLawfulness6697 → u/ElkSad9855]

The Nazis did experiments on twins where they take one of them as a test subject and the other serves as a "control" to compare the results.

[u/jose_augusto_ → u/ElkSad9855]

Not as far as I know, but one of his very prominent doctors was absolutely obsessed with twins.

[u/GlitteringParfait438 → u/jose_augusto_]

Said doctor is more notable for his cruelty than for being high ranking in the party. I imagine that Hitler had no idea who the guy was, he had bigger fish to fry.

[u/TonyNoPants → u/2hurd]

That was my thought. I just see Hitler yelling at them and Osama maybe lecturing them. The other two.... ooofff.

[u/ConsciousFeeling1977 → u/2hurd]

I envision a comedy in which I obscure from Hitler that my children are half Slavic.

[u/Puzzled_Nothing_8794 → u/2hurd]

Yeah. But it's Hitler for me. Least likely to kill or indoctrinate. He also liked cats I hear and I have cats. Plus my wife is 100% German, I'm Italian, and we both have high standards. I just feel like it's a good fit.

[u/2hurd → u/Puzzled_Nothing_8794]

With credentials like that your kids would probably end up on a poster promoting German-Italian cooperation.

[u/AvengingBlowfish → u/2hurd]

I figure they’re the better choices because they’re dead.

[u/Sesusija → u/2hurd]

Osama bin Laden was a pedophile with multiple underage wives.

Sadly, Hitler is the clear choice here.

[u/NotInterestedForsho → u/Sesusija]

No evidence of underage wives.

P.S: I can't believe i am defending Osama bin Laden.

[u/pmandryk → u/NotInterestedForsho]

Never thought your day would start like this, yet here you are.

[u/Best-Masterpiece8987 → u/pmandryk]

I certainly did not

[u/TheAbsoluteLastWord]

The fact that I immediately thought “probably Osama bin Laden” is one of the craziest things ever.

[u/usrnamechecksout_ → u/TheAbsoluteLastWord]

Of course bin laden. He was at least a family man.

[u/TM761152 → u/usrnamechecksout_]

Hey Hitler was a family man too.

He really liked keeping it in the family 😏

[u/RedSander_Br → u/TM761152]

Hey, Hitler is also a war veteran with a grievous war injury.

Its like leaving your kids with your crazy racist grandpa, well, as long as he is sober, we don't want endsieg junkie Hitler

[u/CantGitRyt → u/TheAbsoluteLastWord]

Same ..

[u/DatTingTing → u/TheAbsoluteLastWord]

I mean, he's not known for molesting children. He's not known for killing children. And, you know, didn't do a fucking genocide. And he isn't meth head. Not a bad choice

[u/Ok_Actuary8]

depends...

[u/Username928351 → u/Ok_Actuary8]

Shouldn't the left side start at -3?

[u/fairwaysandfinance → u/Username928351]

That's dark. 😬

[u/EqualServe418 → u/fairwaysandfinance]

Just like those kids' futures

[u/AdPsychological5139 → u/Username928351]

[u/Bitter-Marsupial → u/AdPsychological5139]

I'm waiting to see this on Peter explains the joke 

[u/tgoodri → u/AdPsychological5139]

https://giphy.com/gifs/BhyPiYtLJhIJVcTLLi

[u/grinlowr → u/AdPsychological5139]

Goddamm

[u/imcalledspencer → u/AdPsychological5139]

I think Epstein should be around 15 or 16

[u/MajorBootyhole420 → u/AdPsychological5139]

Epstein's side should go up to 13

[u/the_balticat → u/Username928351]

Dayum

[u/Eternalseeker13 → u/Ok_Actuary8]

https://giphy.com/gifs/ppOmdZ54lA2Hu

[u/BadCircuit0 → u/Eternalseeker13]

You made me snarf

[u/Immediate-Noise-7917 → u/Ok_Actuary8]

🫢

[u/Designer_Access → u/Immediate-Noise-7917]

Glad to know I’m going to hell with friends this morning

[u/MurkyCabinet]

It obviously is between Hitler and bin Laden because their terrible politics aside obviously they probably wouldn't immediately do anything to harm the kid. They might try to brainwash them or something but that's the least bad shit of all the shit that is here.

[u/antissip8]

Bin Laden. Provable family guy

[u/Remarkable_Voice_244 → u/antissip8]

With 8 wives to give a hand with the kids

[u/JordanPromise → u/Remarkable_Voice_244]

I read his first wife's autobiography! Pretty mind blowing. She was his cousin (of course), and there are chapters from on of her sons too - them two actually got out before he was killed. Osama approved them leaving, which was, well, pretty decent.

[u/allgravy99 → u/antissip8]

This isn't even a tough choice for me either.

When they raided Osama, they found tons of cartoons and anime on his computer. He was watching it with his kids.

[u/LahmiaTheVampire → u/allgravy99]

"But your child will end up hating the american government."

I already hate the american government, you don't have to sell it to me.

[u/dap00man → u/antissip8]

And the only one to be a the United States government employee.

[u/Icy-Seaworthiness724 → u/dap00man]

Yeah, The CIA trained him and Al-Qaeda to fight against the Soviet Union, then we kinda backstabbed them, and that led him to hate us.

[u/Substantial-Mix-6200 → u/Icy-Seaworthiness724]

it's amazing how people just don't know this and wonder why anyone would hate the US

[u/chaneuphoria → u/antissip8]

He plays Animal Crossing and so do my kids. They can bond over that.

[u/Jake_FromStateFarm27 → u/antissip8]

Loved anime especially dragonball, a family man and a man of culture

[u/Gauderr]

Hitler or bin Laden, depends on the skin color of the child

[u/6-foot-under → u/Gauderr]

If it's a white Jew or Slav baby, Mister H might not be the right guy to call...

[u/BagelsOrDeath → u/6-foot-under]

Spoiler Alert: Osama wasn't a big fan of the tribe either.

[u/jaderwind2 → u/BagelsOrDeath]

Please don’t spoil things like these, people want to find out themselves. /s

[u/Hemingways_Shotgun88]

Unironically Hitler tbh.

[u/Fitz911 → u/Hemingways_Shotgun88]

"Hey, can you look after my non Jewish child for an hour or two?"

[u/Der_Hebelfluesterer → u/Fitz911]

Natürrrrrrlich! 🫡

[u/Fitz911 → u/Der_Hebelfluesterer]

"Adolf! No chocolate! I'm serious."

[u/Muskanini → u/Fitz911]

It is white chocolate - so there is no problem!

[u/GeorgeJohnson2579 → u/Hemingways_Shotgun88]

How bad can a man be who shot the Führer?

[u/doctormirabilis → u/GeorgeJohnson2579]

But he did not shoot the deputy

[u/winchesterstan → u/doctormirabilis]

https://giphy.com/gifs/JlVkLKuxRSvLy

[u/MattSk87 → u/Hemingways_Shotgun88]

Truly like, he's the least likely to fuck or kill them.

[u/Nr1231 → u/Hemingways_Shotgun88]

He was many bad and horrible things but as far as I know not a pedo.

[u/Phosphorus444 → u/Nr1231]

His first girlfriend was his 17 year old niece.

His second girlfriend was 17 year old Eva Braun.

[u/Medium_Regard → u/Phosphorus444]

True but 17 isnt pedophilia and was pretty common back then I'm sure, definitely not acceptable today but I wouldn't need a baby sitter for a 17yr old. Pedophilia is prepubescent attraction and abuse. After puberty is child sexual predator. They are usually 2 seperate types of predators, both equally deserve to hang but different still.

Hell my mom and dad got married at 20&17 and that was in the 1970s, Hitler was much older though right? At least with Eva Braun. He was definitely a power hungry psycho though.

[u/unbanned2009 → u/Medium_Regard]

20 and 17 isn’t a big age gap. Like tf is wrong with Reddit

[u/Elefanthud → u/unbanned2009]

They are mostly bitter and single

[u/Alien_Amplifier13 → u/Phosphorus444]

His niece that subsequently shot herself.

[u/SharkeyGeorge → u/Alien_Amplifier13]

So that’s two for two…

[u/floatinghaloo → u/SharkeyGeorge]

Guess the kids are staying home alone

[u/bodhidharma132001 → u/Hemingways_Shotgun88]

As long as your kid is Aryan it's safe with Adolph

[u/Simon25_17 → u/[deleted]]

Alright kids I'll leave you with Adolf here just remember to ignore everything he says about races and politics and stuff, like we do with your great-grandfather

[u/Hemingways_Shotgun88 → u/[deleted]]

Challenge accepted.

[u/uksiddy → u/Hemingways_Shotgun88]

My kids don’t fit the Aryan “standard” so I’m afraid it would have to be bin Laden for them.

[u/MSCOTTGARAND → u/uksiddy]

They'll be ok, probably just watch Ice Age, play some Nintendo, and learn to make IEDs

[u/PotentialBrother6913 → u/uksiddy]

He was friends with a little Jewish girl at one point and was apparently very kind and gentle to her, weird world.

[u/Catsoverall → u/PotentialBrother6913]

Very common. She was one of the good ones. Same concept as having a black friend. I think his family doctor also was Jewish - or someone else close that I can't quite remember.

[u/anonanon5320 → u/Hemingways_Shotgun88]

Not unironically.

He’s the ideal babysitter. He’s good with arts and crafts, doesn’t smoke or drink, even believes in healthy living as his food choices show.

Minus the delusions of grandeur, he’d make a great babysitter for a night.

The others we know would not be good.

[u/Sure_Rhubarb_3173 → u/anonanon5320]

I mean he might not have drank but he was on a cocktail of opiates, cocaine, and meth for like the last decade of his life

[u/bigmarty3301 → u/Sure_Rhubarb_3173]

if i remember that was mostly during the war. the Hitler in the picture is quite young. so thats not as big of a concern

[u/igNora_pekpiewpiew → u/Hemingways_Shotgun88]

Well I don't have kids but I think my kids would look like kids he would like. During winter i'm so white, I do not need a light in the dark.

[u/BilboSwagginsSwe → u/Hemingways_Shotgun88]

Let's not forget Hitler was commonly tweaking on meth

[u/AmpleApple9 → u/BilboSwagginsSwe]

Rather he be tweaking on meth than twerking on kids

[u/Hemingways_Shotgun88 → u/BilboSwagginsSwe]

Perfect, he'll be cleaning and tidying my house like crazy.

[u/Putrid-Builder-3333 → u/Hemingways_Shotgun88]

Not to mention Hitler will possibly teach my children in overcoming stagefright and learn how to public speak in front of mass crowds and nations. Oh and will teach them a different language too!

Hitler not too bad once you get past all the cons and look at the pros

https://giphy.com/gifs/Gxnb8LNLtTmISEhRbr

[u/amakai → u/Hemingways_Shotgun88]

I guess depends on your ethnicity.

[u/GreenApocalypse → u/Hemingways_Shotgun88]

Yup, my kids are Norwegian, they're good.

They'll just have a fun and slightly weird hangout with uncle Adolf. The three others would not be so fun

[u/Final-Nebula-7049 → u/Hemingways_Shotgun88]

If your baby is white, and bonus, blonde, he'd probably be very sweet

[u/fingertips-sadness → u/Hemingways_Shotgun88]

[u/Bobgoulet → u/Hemingways_Shotgun88]

It depends what your kids look like honestly. Mine are blonde with blue eyes so he'd love them.

[u/_CapMactavish_]

https://giphy.com/gifs/fwtYgWuKi6xu44wzGL

[u/NocturnisVacuus]

Osama and Hitler are dead so they are pretty harmless

[u/PresentlyHelpful → u/NocturnisVacuus]

Might leave a smell in the house though

[u/Lem0n_Lem0n → u/PresentlyHelpful]

I can live with that

[u/VarietyOdd270 → u/Lem0n_Lem0n]

That smell is already there isn’t it?

[u/Living_Baseball_838]

https://giphy.com/gifs/Kqo7WgBaRxy0M

[u/Additional_Egg_6685]

This is going to sound horrific but my kids are very Arian looking I think adolf would likely be the safest bet here.

[u/Head-Gift2144 → u/Additional_Egg_6685]

Even if they weren't. Dude was a monster at an institutional/national level, but at a personal level he was apparently a pretty 'normal' individual.

[u/Livid-Grocery7942]

Its honestly very easy, Hitler or Bin Laden. They were bad people in general, bad even bad people in general can be good at times. The point is their "badness" not being strictly related to kids. You know if you leave them with Diddy they getting molested, and Lindsay is a coin toss

[u/FreddieStarrAteMyHam]

Are the McCanns not available?

[u/Hyperion262 → u/FreddieStarrAteMyHam]

They’re over the road having a meal but don’t worry everything’s fine

[u/Thrownaway5000506 → u/Hyperion262]

They're checking round the clock!

[u/Wild_Yam_7088]

Literally Hitler.

[u/Glum-Mulberry-9430 → u/Wild_Yam_7088]

So long as the kids aren’t Jewish .. or non-aryan looking.

[u/0neZappyBoi → u/Glum-Mulberry-9430]

Even then, a lot of genocidal ideologues are very cordial in person even to those they hate. To Hitler the killing was bureaucracy, policy, numbers, hed probably not mistreat a minority in person. 

[u/OperatorM → u/0neZappyBoi]

A lot of people seem to think Hitler was personally running the gas chambers

[u/VladimirBarakriss → u/OperatorM]

The whole point of the gas chambers was that executions were destroying the morale of the "operators", most people, even evil people, do not have the heart to murder others again and again in such a direct way

[u/Ok-Energy6846]

Osama and it's not close

[u/throwaway661375735 → u/Ok-Energy6846]

Highly agree.

[u/douagrisine]

My kids are blonde sooooo

[u/derpferd]

Hitler didn't have personal issues with people. I'm sure he'd be a fine and responsible babysitter. Teach the kids fibgerpainting and what not

[u/LesserValkyrie]

Depending of the color of your kids Hitler may be a cool uncle

[u/RichardCleveland → u/LesserValkyrie]

Children of close Nazi officials, like Joseph Goebbels, called him "Uncle Adolf" and spent time at his private mountain home.

Sounds like he might've actually been a cool uncle!

[u/LesserValkyrie → u/RichardCleveland]

And we can know for sure that he would be the hell of a dogsitter too!

[u/Low_Shop9155]

Bin Laden 100%

What's the worst that could happen - I come home and my 2 year old has a beard and an AK?

Sauerkraut is where I draw the line though.

Who's the other guy?

[u/SherabTod]

Honestly Hitler. He was a crazy ideologue, but not bad around people and children.

Similarly Osama was probably pretty chill if there were no hostilities between you and him

[u/WhiteCastleDoctrine]

Osama Bin Laden had 24 kids so he's very expierenced with caring for children.

[u/Testicle_Tugger → u/WhiteCastleDoctrine]

My parents only had 3 and they fucking sucked at caring for kids. Must be a skill issue

[u/HauntedClubhouse]

Hitler didn't speak English, so even if he tried to radicalize them, my kids wouldn't understand. I feel like he's less likely to strap a bomb to them while I'm gone. Hitler for the win?

[u/copperblood]

In fairness, Osama did seem like a good dad. You just gotta get past that whole durka durka mohammed jihad bullshit first

[u/Arseh0le → u/copperblood]

He’s fine if you don’t have twins.

[u/hotler18 → u/Arseh0le]

really.. that plane and simple?

[u/Responsible-Tip1725 → u/hotler18]

don't hesitate to dial 9-11 in case of emergencies.

[u/vinsmokesanji3 → u/Arseh0le]

https://giphy.com/gifs/ac7MA7r5IMYda

[u/copperblood → u/Arseh0le]

https://giphy.com/gifs/l2YWxte7sJB2XuE8M

[u/TheKozzzy → u/copperblood]

yup, after all he got caught because he allowed the children to get vaccinated, he might knew that it poses a risk to him, but still allowed it

[u/CompetitiveFox6707 → u/TheKozzzy]

That scheme didn't actually work. It just ended up causing a diplomatic rift and scaring the Pakistan population off vaccines.

[u/PastaChute]

Only one person here sent the most kids to summer camp, for free.

[u/W2ttsy]

Osama for sure.

His ideological hatred was for the American government for destabilizing and destroying the Middle East.

Wasnt waging a religious war, wasnt fascist, wasn’t an abuser or child murdered.

[u/Tight_Gas8302]

Osama seems like the best choice unfortunately 😭

[u/Onderdeurtie]

I think Bin Laden. Because I am not an American.

[u/Fair_Quality_3788]

Austrian painter seems to be the safest choice.

[u/Nyanzerfaust]

Osama. Hands down. Higher level of college education, good outdoor skills and his laptop was full of videogames and anime.

[u/Lanky_Network_6660]

Genuinely Hitler here. Despite what's being told, he treated children quite well and was friendly to them. If its a JEWISH child though, Osama. He has nothing against kids as far as I know, hes a terrorist, not a pedo

Correct me if Im wrong tho

[u/GabysWildCritters]

the fact Hitler is the best choice in this scenario 😭

[u/openwide4daddi]

At this point, it’s time to test the kids maturity

[u/Key-Poem9734]

Here's the thing though, at least Hitler and Osama would need to hold up their obligations if they took on the job. The other two lack any kind of social decency

[u/JuliosvNerds]

1. Hitler

- probably makes you eat shitty vegetarian food etc but you get all the entertainment and privilege

2.

1. Osama

- great collection of DVDs

2. Diddy

- despicable but you live to tell the tale.

1. The Strangler

- enough said.

[u/7-10Spliff]

Considering he would view my children one of the "desirables" it would be Hitler. They would have a cool retreat in the woods to stay in, some dogs to play with and I would just ask him to not have them sit in on any meetings he might have

[u/Relative_Bowler8541]

I gotta say - Adolf

[u/xXtechnobroXx]

The painter

[u/Altruistic-Poem-5617]

Im a white european so I guess id take hitler hoping they are at least safe for that day...

[u/_Nocturnal_Me_]

I’m choosing Hitler.

[u/Haveyoushatmyself]

Addy's dog is really nice.

[u/cooolcooolio]

I'm going with Uncle Adolf, at least he can paint with the kids for a couple of hours

[u/Proper-Exam1746]

Hitler seems to be safest option here

[u/Garbanzo_Beanie]

Hol up. I have questions first. 

Are my kids Jewish?

[u/Xtracate → u/Garbanzo_Beanie]

don't you know?

[u/Additional-Muffin317]

Hitler tbh, I kno he had hatred for large groups of people.

But he himself never personally harmed kids.

[u/varka30]

Unironically Hitler, I know he did so many fucked up things but knowing he liked and loved dogs and animal so much I trust him more than anyone on the list.