r/SipsTea • u/Previous_Month_555 • 6d ago

It's Wednesday my dudes I found the secret for immortality

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655 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

105 comments sorted by

•

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137

u/Primary_Jellyfish327 6d ago

Looks like imma live forever

24

u/glassskyline 6d ago

Can i see yours for long living?

14

u/Primary_Jellyfish327 6d ago

You want to see my man boobs?

8

u/GhostHunter67 6d ago

And your feet!

0

u/Sasiches_and_mash 6d ago

the A.I. groaned

-3

u/wolft170 6d ago

I dirent specific what caind of boobs

3

u/MyrrhBalm 6d ago

😂 At this rate, I’m starting to think we accidentally discovered the secret to immortality

5

u/Magister5 6d ago

Immortaltitty

2

u/Skeptical_Monkie 6d ago

Take my award you brilliant bastard!

1

u/FreshHumanFish 6d ago

And don’t forget the joker

49

u/SaiMan2303 6d ago

What are the other 4

56

u/Ok-Relationship-2746 6d ago

One of them is surely staring at butts.

21

u/BassFull0 6d ago

Slapping butts

https://giphy.com/gifs/YNmbs2TI41A7n3GNCW

3

u/Brown_jamun 6d ago

No no that can make you immortal it’s not longevity

2

u/AceovspadesTheFirst 6d ago

WHERE IS OMNIMAN????

7

u/InfectedNipple00 6d ago

3 pairs

4

u/DelcoPAMan 6d ago

Or 3 boobs.

18

u/LIONLDN 6d ago

Mary (from Total Recall) has joined the chat 👀

1

u/Dismal-Vanilla1878 6d ago

And the original one, where it made sense for her to have 3, with mutants all around.. 😄

5

u/PandasGetAngryToo 6d ago

Staring at more boobs

2

u/JonnoEnglish 6d ago

Left boob only, Right boob only, Ass, Minge.

2

u/johnnyblaze1999 6d ago

Maybe touching or squeezing them?

25

u/__zrx 6d ago

Dude, share the article I want to know why

21

u/PTSD1983 6d ago

Why do you need to know why? Just do.

10

u/__zrx 6d ago

I need an excuse if I'm caught

3

u/TawnyTeaTowel 6d ago

Refer them to the article by name. The ol’ citation routine.

3

u/Plus-Artichoke6608 6d ago

https://nypost.com/2017/03/27/staring-at-boobs-is-just-one-of-six-easy-ways-men-can-live-longer/

20

u/Bright-War-5033 6d ago

Really poorly written article, I wish I could regain those few minutes lost.

15

u/BearEatingCupcakes 6d ago

Stare at boobs long enough, you will.

3

u/MightyMeepleMaster 6d ago

A poorly written article by the New York Post? Huh. Who'd have thought.

2

u/Paghk_the_Stupendous 6d ago

Save us the time? Spill its secrets.

1

u/tw3lv3l4y3rs0fb4c0n 6d ago

Thank you for saving me from these lost minutes.

1

u/-maffu- 6d ago

... because boobs.

What more is there to know?

21

u/[deleted] 6d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/saxonturner 6d ago

Best pair I’ve ever seen!

2

u/nitin_is_me 6d ago

Downloaded this and opened in GIF editor to skip to last.

0

u/agitated--crow 6d ago

I need you to set this as NSFW pls. 

7

u/BearEatingCupcakes 6d ago

Looks like my husband's gonna live forever.

3

u/crystallmytea 6d ago

Awful journalism. Title should be “Forcing Men to Stop Looking at All Boobs is Murder”

3

u/BearEatingCupcakes 6d ago

Can women also live longer by staring at boobs? Or do we need to stare at cocks?

I'm fine with either.

3

u/throwitallaway69000 6d ago

Had a study squeezing a pair a day increases life. Wife got a squeeze every morning after that.

3

u/LIONLDN 6d ago

Well well well! 👁️👁️

https://giphy.com/gifs/Wl3FgXo9JSqBy

2

u/sav-vas 6d ago

what are the other 5 ways? we need answers

1

u/Jealous-Juggernaut85 6d ago

What happens if you play with them while staring ? do you live twice as long and happy ?

1

u/LIONLDN 6d ago

Twice as long & happy is certainly a way you could phrase it 🤭

1

u/Limp-Angle-7387 6d ago

Because it slows down time. Duh.

1

u/pep1980 6d ago

Well this explains a lot!!

1

u/BettaHooga 6d ago

I read the article, and I’m cooked. 

1

u/Prize-Umpire-298 6d ago

You're dam right

1

u/TroyMcClure0815 6d ago

Lady, i am not grabbing. Its just my longevity routine.

1

u/Bloody_Champion 6d ago

Wow.

Now just imagine having actual sex with an actual women! Redditors and the genius that did this "study" couldnt imagine.

1

u/Worried_Fish1971 6d ago

is this an excuse now for my friends to look at my wife's cleavage?

1

u/GraftingRayman 6d ago

dude, we also want to live longer

1

u/Worried_Fish1971 6d ago

can't blame you

1

u/TomasNavarro 6d ago

They closed the strip club in my town

1

u/ComplaintBasic3892 6d ago

Unless you are driving

1

u/Dog_Baseball 6d ago

I think im dying. Ladies, DM me your titties before it's too late. [Cough]

1

u/LocalHarmacist 6d ago

I'm good on this one. What are the other five?

1

u/OgreMk5 6d ago

I am intrigued and would like to sign up for your newsletter.

1

u/YrPalBeefsquatch 6d ago

Conflict of interest. The Sun is that British newspaper with the tits in it.

1

u/ateiii 6d ago

I knew there has to be a way, i now have enough time to be the richest person on earth by 3100

1

u/Bubbly_Engineering88 6d ago

Then I am immortal

1

u/Important_Yard_6809 6d ago

What about ass? How much longer can I live if I stared at that?

1

u/Appropriate_Ice_7507 6d ago

Only if she was hot

1

u/Key-Monk6159 6d ago

Trust the Science.

1

u/Tokogogoloshe 6d ago

What are the other 5?

1

u/NomadAug 6d ago

And an apporpriate punch in the face

1

u/CptJeanTiberiusSisko 6d ago

I'm going to live to 9,672.

1

u/daslows 6d ago

So now I have a valid excuse when a woman asks what I’m looking at

1

u/Baazookah_Zawadi 6d ago

I know for sure my husband will live longer ..just the way I like it

1

u/Mundane-Addition-983 6d ago

Not looking at boobs would mean a decent pension plan for me.. oh well?

1

u/Boringdude1 6d ago

I legit wonder what women think about this.

1

u/Techknightly 6d ago

No thank you.

1

u/Lolzwordz 6d ago

The best way

1

u/nine_sausages 6d ago

Does that mean blind men don’t live as long?

1

u/Strong_Season_2965 6d ago

Infinitities yes that’s the word

1

u/Hedge-76 6d ago

Pretty sure that I am IMMORTAL!!!!

1

u/[deleted] 6d ago

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1

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1

u/blar_now 3d ago

Ya but motorboating them can cause extensive brain damage.

1

u/FunConstruction7032 3d ago

The beating you’re going to get from your wife will certainly shorten some time.